Chapter 5: Going Up the Mountain
Cooking had always been a woman’s job. What man would deign to do such work, which in their eyes was the task of “serving” others?
Scholars were even more direct, clearly stating the principle that “a gentleman stays far from the kitchen.” Never mind gentlemen; even among ordinary men, few would ever cook. Not to mention, her brother-in-law was a future official with great prospects. How could she dare to be served by him with a clear conscience?
From that day on, Feng Yuzhen diligently woke up early every day, treating it almost like a mission, taking over the task of cooking. She was terrified of opening her eyes and seeing Cui Jingkong at the stove again.
She glanced at the figure in the mist and turned to the kitchen to start the fire. Liu Guilan, worried they would be short on food, had given them some cabbage and potatoes from her cellar, along with half a bag of millet.
She deftly sliced the remaining half of yesterday’s cabbage and stir-fried it, then cooked a pot of millet porridge. Staring at the sparse grains in the pot, Feng Yuzhen’s brow furrowed slightly.
The rice and vegetables First Aunt had given them would only last another three days, even if they were frugal. After all, her brother-in-law was a young man in his prime, full of vigor. He worked during the day and studied at night. She was dependent on him for her livelihood, so she couldn’t be too stingy with his food.
But a clever housewife can’t cook without rice. Cui Jingkong didn’t farm, and it would soon be time for spring planting. The key to getting through this period came down to one thing: money.
When Cui Jingkong was thirteen, his intelligence was recognized by a newly arrived teacher. Since then, he had lived and eaten at the teacher’s private academy, almost like half a son to him.
Feng Yuzhen did remember that he copied books for money, but how could a sister-in-law ask her brother-in-law for money?
Previously, she and Cui Ze had lived halfway up the mountain. Things had happened so suddenly that many of their belongings were still left in the house.
The money they had saved and hidden in the side panel of the wardrobe, the cured meat they had marinated and hung under the eaves to air-dry, and the hairpins Cui Ze had given her.
Thinking of all this, Feng Yuzhen’s mood sank again. She forced herself to cheer up, brought out the food, and called her brother-in-law to eat.
Cui Jingkong came in wrapped in a chill, with tiny ice crystals still clinging to the tips of his dark eyebrows. Feng Yuzhen quickly added more firewood to the brazier and kicked it over to his feet to warm his legs.
He didn’t stand on ceremony. He ate quickly but not ravenously, without any deliberate posturing. Feng Yuzhen had never seen anyone eat as elegantly as him.
Compared to Cui Jingkong, her appetite was average. She only had a few sips of hot porridge to warm her stomach. Staring at her brother-in-law was too strange, so her eyes wandered aimlessly.
Suddenly, her sharp gaze caught something, and her eyes stopped moving. There was a tear in the elbow of Cui Jingkong’s left sleeve, as if it had been snagged and ripped by something sharp while he was working, exposing the white cotton padding inside.
“Kong’ge’er, your clothes are torn. Let me mend them for you?”
She pursed her lips, a glimmer of hope in her almond-shaped eyes. For once, she met Cui Jingkong’s gaze without flinching.
Feng Yuzhen was a person who knew how to be grateful. Because she had received so little kindness and love in her two lives, if someone gave her one part, she would do her utmost to repay them tenfold, and still feel it wasn’t enough.
Just as she felt she owed Cui Jingkong a great deal, believing he had “accommodated” her a lot, she felt compelled to repay him at every opportunity, as if doing so would bring her a little peace of mind.
Cui Jingkong readily agreed. “Then I’ll have to trouble Sister-in-law.”
The woman who had been listless just a moment ago visibly brightened. Her eyes curved into crescents, as if his few short words had cleared the clouds from her sky.
He narrowed his eyes imperceptibly. This was the strange thing about this widowed sister-in-law: when facing him, she always, intentionally or not, showed a clumsy sort of goodwill. But her performance was very poor, full of flaws, a contradiction of trying hard to please and cautiously keeping her distance, as if she were afraid but had no choice but to rely on him.
But what was she afraid of? He was just a poor scholar. What could she possibly want from him?
Feng Yuzhen, who had already aroused Cui Jingkong’s suspicion, was oblivious to it all. She was about to wash the pots and bowls when Cui Jingkong suddenly stood up, took out some silver from his bundle—nearly half a liang in scattered pieces—and spread it on the table.
Feng Yuzhen had seen silver a few times, but she had never held it herself. The neighbors gossiped that the wealthiest family in the village, the Lius, only had a fortune of ten liang. One qian could buy ten catties of white flour at the market. Half a liang of silver was a huge sum.
“There are many things to take care of at home, and we need to buy quite a few things. I’m not able to manage it all, so I’ll have to trouble Sister-in-law to put in the effort.”
His generous gesture stunned Feng Yuzhen. She almost suspected he could read minds. She quickly waved her hands in refusal, but Cui Jingkong had already put the money down and gone out to continue building the fence.
The silver lay on the table, flaunting its presence. Feng Yuzhen felt her head throb and couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh. The weight of half a liang of silver was negligible, but in her hand, it felt like a hot potato.
Of course, she couldn’t accept it, but she didn’t dare rummage through his bundle to put it back. Feng Yuzhen could only temporarily hide the huge sum under her bedding, her expression deeply troubled.
What should I do?
As she washed the dishes, she made up her mind to go up the mountain in the next two days to get their money.
*
The next morning, Cui Jingkong was finally free. As soon as Feng Yuzhen stepped out of the room, she saw him reading a yellowed book.
Seen like this, he looked like a standard handsome, frail scholar. But this frail scholar was not lacking in strength. In just four or five days, with only a little help from Feng Yuzhen, he had managed to overhaul the entire yard almost single-handedly.
He had filled the cracks in the walls with lime, and had found some black clay tiles from somewhere to patch the hole in the roof. Now, when she pushed open the window of the side room, the once-overgrown patch of weeds had been completely transformed.
A tight wooden fence with sharp points now encircled the brick house. Inside the enclosed yard, an old locust tree with budding green leaves stood before the house, its shadow swaying.
After renovating the house and yard, the mourning leave Cui Jingkong had requested from his teacher was over, and it was time for him to return to the private academy.
Feng Yuzhen had planned to set out after he left, but Cui Jingkong was incredibly perceptive and had long sensed she was hiding something. He had intended to leave in the morning, but now he unhurriedly flipped through his book, deliberately waiting for her to speak.
As expected, Feng Yuzhen couldn’t hold it in any longer and told him everything. She had no choice. The journey from the west of the village into the mountains and back would take at least half a day. If she delayed any longer during the day, it would be pitch black by the time she came down the mountain.
Upon learning that she wanted to go up the mountain alone to retrieve something, Cui Jingkong put down his book and stood up. “I’ll go with you.”
Feng Yuzhen knew he had to return to the academy today; she had seen him pack his bundle last night. She hadn’t intentionally hidden it from him. Firstly, she felt that if she said it, it might be misinterpreted as a hint for him to stay and accompany her.
Secondly, there was always an invisible barrier in her heart, indescribable and inexplicable, that strongly resisted letting anyone else set foot in the home that belonged to her and Cui Ze.
“I’ll be fine on my own. Brother should head to the academy early.”
But he remained silent. Even after being refused, he just stood there quietly, his gaze cool, not offering any further argument, like a block of hard, cold ice.
His cold expression was very intimidating. Feng Yuzhen’s resolve softened, and she gritted her teeth and walked ahead. She clearly had the energy and wanted to take bigger steps, to walk faster, preferably to shake off the person behind her.
But he kept up with ease. One of his long strides was equivalent to two or three of hers. What was most infuriating was that he kept a certain distance, not too close, not too far, as if he were teasing a dog. When she walked, he walked; when she stopped, he stopped.
How could Feng Yuzhen win against him? And with her limp holding her back, she could only let him be.
The mountain path twisted and turned, winding around three or four bends. She grew more and more tired, having to rest after walking only a short distance. The sun was high overhead. She had prepared some water and dry rations. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Cui Jingkong stop about ten steps away, his face impassive, his breathing steady.
In a rare fit of pique, she didn’t want to pay him any mind. But her anger had barely flared up before she started to convince herself: Little Brother-in-law means well, after all. And he is my late husband’s own brother. It’s only right for him to go back and have a look.
Besides, how could she dare to be angry with him? In the future, he could crush her with a single finger.
Her puffed-up face deflated. She broke the dry ration in half and held it out in Cui Jingkong’s direction. Only when he was in front of her did she speak unnaturally, “Take this to tide you over. We still have a while to go.”
The young man tactfully accepted the offer with thanks. As he took it, his gaze swept over her left hand, which was subconsciously clutching her sleeve, and the corners of his lips curved up secretly.
What a naive, kind person. Dealing with her is even simpler than grabbing a disobedient cat by the scruff of its neck.
After a short rest, they set off again. After walking for a while, the corner of a roof suddenly appeared amidst the distant greenery.
Hunters live off the mountains. After Feng Yuzhen married him, Cui Ze had built this wooden house on an open plot halfway up the mountain.
Seeing this house, which she and her husband had built tile by tile, after a lifetime apart, her nose couldn’t help but sting. She had left in such a hurry that she hadn’t even bolted the door. She wondered if any thieves had broken in during the past half month.
Pushing open the door, she found the inside was just as she had left it, the furnishings unchanged. The two pots of Christmas cactus she had dug up from nearby were still on the windowsill. The flower buds stood tall and graceful, though they were a little wilted from lack of water.
Following her memory, Feng Yuzhen found their savings in the wardrobe. The purse was not very full; it contained just over two hundred wen in total. And that was after taking out more than half in a hurry to pay for a doctor for Cui Ze.
She put the purse away, then took out a jewelry box from a drawer and opened it. Inside were five hairpins, neatly arranged. A smile appeared on her lips, but her eyes instantly reddened.
The presence of the two of them lingered in every corner of the wooden house. The bow and arrows on the wall, the arrowheads behind the door, the woman’s jewelry, a single quilt, two cups, and the room they had agreed to set aside for their future child.
All these things were intimately intertwined, the clear boundaries between people intentionally blurred, finally melting into a warm whole.
Cui Jingkong’s gaze swept around the room, his expression unreadable, before settling back on Feng Yuzhen’s face.
She was looking down, crying silently, not shying away from Cui Jingkong, or perhaps she simply couldn’t be bothered with him anymore.
Her tears fell in a straight line, rolling down stiffly. Her sobs grew. She raised the back of her hand to wipe them away roughly, her cheeks stinging from the friction, and carefully touched each hairpin in the box.
When her fingers brushed against a sandalwood hairpin with a rough texture, she completely broke down. A sharp pain pierced her heart. Feng Yuzhen clutched the first hairpin Cui Ze had ever made for her and slowly sank to the ground, burying her head in the crook of her arm, her sobs growing louder.
Through her tear-filled eyes, a hand entered her vision, a handkerchief resting in its palm.
In her daze, she mistook it for Cui Ze’s hand.
It was just as large and well-defined. But this hand was a cold white, not the wheat color tanned by the harsh sun. Although there were calluses on the knuckles, there was no scar at the base of the thumb.
The one handing her the handkerchief was clearly her husband’s own brother.
Cui Jingkong stood before his widowed sister-in-law, who was curled into a small ball. Her wretched expression was clearly reflected in his dark, cold eyes.
Tear tracks crisscrossed the woman’s face, the corners of her eyes were tinged with a burning red, and her usually neat temples were in disarray, strands of hair sticking to her face. The hairpin she clutched so tightly was very crudely made.
Cui Jingkong only needed a single glance to know that even if he had never made one before, he was confident he could do a much better job.
If it’s such a worthless trinket, why is she crying?
The widowed sister-in-law, who had been so cautiously proper to the point of being dull during the five days they had been alone, this frail body and mediocre personality, could actually erupt with such intense emotion.
It was almost hysterical, like a moth flying into a flame, as breathtaking as the moment it was consumed and annihilated by the fire.
Lowering his gaze to the woman’s reddened nose, Cui Jingkong suddenly wanted to know, what would it feel like to be loved by her like this?
*
Translator’s Notes
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liang (两) and qian (钱): Ancient Chinese units of currency and weight. One liang is equivalent to ten qian.
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wen (文): The smallest unit of currency, typically a copper coin. 1000 wen usually equaled one liang of silver, but this could fluctuate.