Chapter 13
Yuli gasped for breath, her heart taking a long time to calm down.
The scene from the dream felt as if it had really happened. As she pulled herself out of Song Yi’s identity, she realized that Xie Yao’s expression and actions were several times more terrifying than in the dream.
Although it was a sexual act, it was filled with blood, with not a shred of pleasure to be spoken of. It was simply an extremely cruel execution for both parties.
After a long time, the non-existent pain on her lips, tongue, and chest finally dissipated. There was also a strange discomfort in other places.
Experiencing the description from the original book firsthand was even more tormenting than she had imagined.
The sky was beginning to lighten. Hearing the familiar chirping of birds, Yuli gradually calmed down. She wanted to go back to sleep, but she couldn’t fall asleep no matter what.
She simply got up and went to see Xuemi.
Now, in this small courtyard, there was a cat, and the study was filled with many books and writing materials. Everything was different from the original book. There was no need for her to scare herself.
Yuli wanted to treat what happened last night as normal. Today, she would personally make some delicious food for Xie Yao. When he arrived, she would go and meet him properly, and then explain away the unpleasantness of last night, telling him not to take it to heart, that she was just not used to his sudden intimacy.
But then she thought, what if he didn’t accept her apology and wanted to kiss her again? Perhaps he would stare at her and say, without room for refusal, “You have to get used to kissing me.”
Yuli’s scalp tingled. Her hand slipped, and she almost cut her finger with the kitchen knife.
She calmed down for a moment, pushed the thoughts out of her mind, and focused on making him delicious food.
In the evening, Yuli went to meet Xie Yao as usual, filled with an apprehension she hadn’t felt in a long time.
Xie Yao arrived as he usually did, without a smile, his expression still inscrutable. That meant he was in a bad mood; Yuli had already figured that out.
Yuli wanted to take his hand, but he stopped and looked behind her. “Walk in front.”
Yuli’s smile froze. She did as he said and turned to walk ahead towards Mingyue Residence.
Yuli was afraid that her daytime fantasies would come true. If Xie Yao really said that, would she have to take the initiative to kiss him?
She couldn’t do it.
Yuli was already resisting something that hadn’t even happened yet. This manifested as constant reservation and avoidance of Xie Yao at every turn.
Even though she had personally cooked the dishes, she didn’t speak to Xie Yao, didn’t introduce them, and in the end, barely ate a few bites herself.
Xie Yao’s expression was unreadable. He ate slowly and deliberately. After the maids had cleared the table, he drank his tea. When everyone had withdrawn, and the cat was not around, he finally spoke.
“I was too abrupt yesterday,” Xie Yao said.
Yuli was stunned.
Xie Yao’s eyes were deep, showing little apology.
What a joke. Kissing his own wife was perfectly natural. For him to apologize was absurd.
But Yuli had been frightened, and he had no other choice.
Yuli’s surprise was not much less than the previous night. It was as if his sudden kiss was terrifying, and his apology to her was equally terrifying.
Was he that wicked?
Then he would be wicked for her to see.
“I want you too much,” Xie Yao said, observing Yuli’s expression.
She was clearly even more surprised that he would be so direct.
Xie Yao: “We have been married for three months, yet we have not consummated our marriage. This is not in accordance with propriety. Last night, when you hugged me, I thought you had accepted me.”
Yuli quickly said, “That’s not what I meant.”
“So you don’t want to consummate the marriage with me?”
“…”
“Hm?”
“…It’s not that I don’t want to.”
“Then that means you do,” Xie Yao said, staring at her.
She pursed her lips and said nothing, still avoiding it.
“Whether you want to or not, you only have one month,” Xie Yao said, his expression cold and deep.
Yuli frowned, reluctant.
Xie Yao said firmly, “We are husband and wife. We have bowed to heaven and earth.”
Yuli was silent for a long time, as if she were doing some important mental preparation.
Xie Yao didn’t want to indulge her, but she was silent for too long. He became a little uncertain. What should he do if she didn’t agree, if she said she never wanted to marry him in the first place and turned against him?
He knew perfectly well that she didn’t love him.
Xie Yao thought of some unpleasant things, his expression deepening, like a bottomless abyss trapping the reflection of Yuli in his eyes.
Yuli finally looked at him. “Mm.”
It was just a noncommittal hum. Xie Yao was still not satisfied. He sat down next to her, raised his hand to grip her wrist, and looked at her deeply.
Yuli felt an unprecedented sense of pressure, as if she would be crushed and unable to breathe if she refused.
“Alright,” Yuli said, her face tense, but in the end, she went along with his wishes.
She had agreed to consummate the marriage with him within a month.
She had never broken her word to Xie Yao before; her credibility was very high. Xie Yao felt a premature sense of joy. He gently hugged her and then let go.
He was afraid that once he held her, he wouldn’t be able to let go, just like last night. He had thought she had finally taken that precious half-step, and it was up to him to close the remaining distance between them. The more he kissed her, the more he lost control, and he was on the verge of doing more, but he hadn’t expected that she simply wanted to hug him.
He had been a little angry, but he had calmed down not long after. It was his misunderstanding that had frightened her.
He had already made an extreme compromise by giving her the initiative. He didn’t want to let her drag it on indefinitely, so he had to push her like this.
Compared to when they first reunited, she was much closer to him now. But he wanted her to have only him in her heart and eyes, to never think of leaving him. Although she was obedient and compliant, he knew in his heart that they were still very, very far from the state he desired.
After Xie Yao left, Yuli belatedly realized that she had taken on such a huge task for herself again.
It was just that Xie Yao’s behavior just now had been beyond her expectations. He had actually apologized to her. Although he didn’t seem very apologetic, he could see that she was scared, yet he didn’t force her, giving her a grace period of one month.
Yuli recalled that her feeling about Xie Yao was a bit strange. As long as she relaxed her guard even a little, he would take the opportunity to occupy some of her space, leaving her with nowhere to hide.
This combination of soft and hard tactics made her feel uneasy. But the aftereffects of last night’s nightmare still lingered. Although today’s Xie Yao had a strong desire for control, at least he hadn’t reached the point of drugging her.
The image of the red and white intertwined bodies from her dream flashed through her mind, and Yuli couldn’t help but shiver. Rather than letting it get to that point, it was better for her to take the initiative and seek a gentler first time.
Yuli thought a lot. When she woke up, she noticed the weather had turned hot, making her feel irritable and weary. It was better to treat herself first.
Xie Yao was not easy to fool, nor was he easy to please. To satisfy him, she had to make herself happy first. Yuli decided to please herself first.
The bed in her room had already been changed to a cool jade mat. Today, they even brought her ice blocks to cool down. The ice was clear and clean, looking so tempting.
Before Yuli even went to the kitchen, Uncle Hu had made her a sushan, which was cool, sweet, and delicious.
Yuli felt it wasn’t enough after eating it. She made a pot of milk tea herself, chilled it, and shared it with the maids in the residence.
Girls love to eat cool, sweet, and fragrant things. Although they were usually respectful but distant with Yuli, they forgot themselves a little when they had something delicious. They smiled at Yuli, unconsciously getting closer and more intimate with her.
Yuli also relaxed a lot. Girls were so much easier to satisfy than Xie Yao.
Yuli then made some delicious food for Xuemi. Xuemi circled around her and rolled over to let her rub its belly.
Although the day was busy and a little tiring, Yuli felt content. It was as if she were full of energy again and could face Xie Yao calmly.
Thinking that Xie Yao didn’t like sweet things, Yuli made him a slightly sour lemon mint water with a few ice cubes. In the hot summer, he would surely like it.
When Xie Yao arrived in the evening, he did indeed like the lemonade she made. However, after finishing it, he just looked at her, as if he wanted more.
Yuli hadn’t prepared anything else. She took his hand, wanting to go for a walk, but she couldn’t pull him.
Instead, he pulled her into his arms.
Yuli was slightly startled but didn’t push him away. She raised her hands and hugged him.
Xie Yao didn’t miss her unnatural expression but didn’t say anything.
She had already accepted in her heart that she had to consummate the marriage with him soon. She didn’t dare to resist whatever he did.
Yuli was afraid he would kiss her fiercely again and subconsciously pursed her lips.
Xie Yao’s lips curled into a smile. When he let her go, he saw that her pursed lips were even rosier, as if he had kissed them.
A dark glint flashed in Xie Yao’s eyes. He let her go and took a half step back.
“The business matters are over. I can take a whole day to be with you. Do you want to go out?” Xie Yao said.
“Where?” He said a whole day. It couldn’t be in this residence, but Yuli didn’t dare to think about leaving the residence.
“The capital, or anywhere else you want to go.”
She could leave the residence? Xie Yao was serious. Yuli’s heart pounded with excitement. “Anywhere is fine. Husband can arrange it.”
Yuli felt joyful and excited. Besides being able to go out and see the outside world, there was another reason. In the original novel, after Song Yi entered this residence, she had tried to escape many times and even directly told Xie Yao to set her free. Xie Yao, of course, had her under strict surveillance and gave her no chance.
But now, Xie Yao was taking the initiative to take her out. This meant that she had already broken away from the original tone of the novel and would not develop into the mutual torment of “she flees, he pursues.”
Thinking of it this way, Xie Yao even seemed much gentler.
He was just a boyfriend with a slightly stronger possessive streak; he hadn’t done anything excessive.
And in two days, they were going out on a date.
Yuli was very happy and full of anticipation for the outing.
Seeing her happy, Xie Yao’s eyes shone like stars. He suddenly felt that he had wronged her too much.
She must have wanted to go out for a breath of fresh air long ago.
But she had never mentioned it. She was always distant with him, never truly treating him as a husband. Since entering the residence, she had not asked for anything, except for that cat beast that occupied so much of her time.
*
The day Yuli went out was the Qixi Festival.
Although it was a day for lovers to meet, Yuli would have preferred to go shopping with Xiyun.
In her modern life, she didn’t particularly like going out. For one, the fun places were too crowded. Going out felt more like looking at a sea of people than scenery. Secondly, she was short on cash. Shopping and traveling were expensive, so she only went out shopping with friends occasionally.
When she went shopping, she rarely bought things. She was used to online shopping, which was cheap and had a wide variety. She spent more time browsing shopping apps than shopping in person.
Shopping was an opportunity for her to get together with her good friends. Buying some delicious food, sharing with each other, and finding some nice little trinkets was the greatest joy she found in shopping.
So she naturally wanted to bring Xiyun along.
Yuli invited Xiyun, and Xiyun readily agreed.
Shortly after dawn, the two of them got up and began to dress up.
Yuli only knew how to do a simple bun and couldn’t style her hair into a chignon. Xiyun finally had a chance to show off her skills. She styled Yuli’s hair into a beautiful and elegant chignon, adorned with a translucent jade hairpin, pearl earrings, and light purple beaded flowers.
The weather was hot. Yuli chose a sheer upper garment, a water-red half-sleeve jacket, a light pink chest-high ruqun, and a waist-cinching yingluo. She looked charming yet lively.
Xiyun couldn’t take her eyes off her, and Yuli was also very satisfied.
Xiyun also dressed up. Since coming to this residence, her attire had also gone up a level. Silks and satins were a given. After they were both dressed, they looked like two young ladies from wealthy families, going out shopping together.
Yuli took out some silver that had come with her dowry.
The capital was large, prosperous, and had a large population. There must be many interesting little trinkets. Since she was living here with no worries about food, clothing, or shelter, and it was a rare opportunity to go out, she was going to buy a lot.
After their careful preparations, Yuli had completely forgotten about Xie Yao.
When he arrived, she was discussing with Xiyun where the fun places in the capital were, where to go first, and where to go next.
Seeing him arrive with the morning sun, Yuli was a little dazed. In the past, she had always seen him arrive at dusk with the setting sun.
Xie Yao walked into the room, his gaze fixed on her.
Just now, when Xiyun had looked at her and praised her, Yuli had only felt happy. But now, being stared at by Xie Yao’s direct gaze, she felt a little uncomfortable.
It was getting late, and they should be heading out. Yuli and Xiyun were both ready. Yuli walked straight towards Xie Yao, with Xiyun two steps behind her.
When she reached Xie Yao’s side, he naturally held her wrist and turned to walk out.
After they had walked out the door, Yuli turned to look at Xiyun. Xiyun’s expression was normal, showing no disappointment. She followed behind her and Xie Yao with her head bowed.
The earlier joy was gone. Yuli felt extremely strange.
It was as if she were going on a date with her boyfriend and insisted on bringing her best friend along, but then ended up neglecting her best friend because she was with her boyfriend.
Yuli didn’t like this feeling, but the force with which Xie Yao held her wrist was strong, clearly not allowing her to pull away.
Going out like this, Yuli would not be happy. She suddenly pulled on Xie Yao’s hand. “Husband, can you give Xiyun and the others a day off?”
Xie Yao didn’t stop walking. “It’s your decision.”
Yuli turned to Xiyun and said, “Xiyun, you don’t have to follow me today. You can go out on your own, or rest at home.”
Xiyun stopped, a little stunned.
Yuli added in a low voice, “Wait for me to bring back some delicious food.”
Xiyun broke into a smile. Yuli winked at her.
As they passed the gate of Mingyue Residence, Jingyu also came to see them off. Yuli also said to Jingyu, “You all have a day off today. Do whatever you want.”
**
Translator’s Notes
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Qixi Festival (七夕): Also known as the Double Seventh Festival, it falls on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month. It’s a traditional Chinese festival celebrating the annual meeting of the cowherd and the weaver girl in mythology. It is often referred to as Chinese Valentine’s Day.
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Ruqun (襦裙): A traditional Chinese attire consisting of a short upper garment (襦, rú) and a long, wrap-around skirt (裙, qún). The “chest-high” (齐胸, qíxiōng) style is a specific type where the skirt is tied very high, above the bust.
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Yingluo (璎珞): A type of decorative necklace or body chain from ancient China, often made of precious metals, jade, and pearls, worn by nobility and deities in art.