☆, Chapter 10: Visiting the Grave
Although her grandmother had taken Hao Ren to visit her mother’s grave every Qingming Festival, Hao Ren had never gone on her own initiative. She wasn’t sure what kind of feelings she held for her mother. Love? She had never even met the woman. Hate? Other than leaving her behind, the woman had never done anything to hurt her. To Hao Ren, her mother was more like a symbol than a person of flesh and blood.
To avoid the scorching summer sun, Hao Ren specifically chose a cool morning. Because it wasn’t a special day like Qingming, the cemetery was empty except for an elderly groundskeeper. Being rarely visited and densely vegetated, it had naturally become a paradise for small animals.
Hao Ren had only taken a few steps before three squirrels, two rabbits, a group of field mice, and countless birds had already greeted her. By the time she reached her mother’s grave, in addition to a bag of fruit for offerings, her hands were also filled with many gifts from the small animals.
The squirrels gave her a string of dried pinecones, the rabbits gave her a handful of wild chrysanthemums that were said to taste excellent, and the field mice brought a few small potatoes, probably pilfered from some family’s field. They must have gotten hungry on the way, as there was a row of small teeth marks on them. The little birds brought her bright red goji berries, which glistened like gems in the sun.
After presenting their gifts, the little creatures followed Hao Ren all the way to her mother’s grave. They each found a corner they considered hidden and watched Hao Ren’s next moves with curiosity.
Hao Ren, who had been in a somber mood, stood before her mother’s grave with this large pile of gifts. Looking at her large group of subjects who were blatantly peeking at her, she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and the gloom in her heart lifted.
“Stop hiding, come on out!” Since there was no one else in the cemetery, and the feeling of being watched was quite uncomfortable, Hao Ren simply and generously let the small animals come out and visit the grave with her.
As soon as her words fell, a rustling sound filled the air. After the sound, she was surprised to find herself surrounded by a dense crowd of small animals. She hadn’t felt it when they were hiding, but now that they were out, Hao Ren realized she had underestimated the size of their population.
There were more than a dozen squirrels, dozens of rabbits, and the field mice and small birds were too numerous to count. Not only was the ground covered with furry little animals, but even the tombstone was crowded with birds that had nowhere else to perch. One of the small birds was accidentally squeezed off the tombstone by its companions. After flapping its wings to fly up, it became disoriented and landed on Daizi’s head.
That guy Daizi was truly a mature dog of the uncle generation. Even with a small bird on its head, its expression didn’t change. It just glanced at it faintly, showing no intention of making things difficult for the little bird. On the other hand, Lucky, in Hao Ren’s arms, began to have its eyes light up, ready to make a move. Fortunately, this one had been a house cat since it was young, and due to its breed, its hunting instinct wasn’t as strong as other types of cats. A pat from Hao Ren was enough to calm it down. Otherwise, the scene would have already descended into chaos.
“Your Majesty the Queen, what are you doing?” The question came from a chubby, large gray rabbit. A place like a cemetery was indeed a paradise for small animals like rabbits. Every single one in their large family looked plump and healthy, their condition far surpassing that of domestic rabbits.
“Visiting a grave.”
“What is visiting a grave?”
“Visiting a deceased relative.”
“Who is Your Majesty visiting?”
“My mother.” Hao Ren paused, her gaze falling on the tombstone next to her mother’s, her expression dimming. “And my grandmother.”
“What is a grandmother?”
“Stupid!” Before Hao Ren could answer, another rabbit next to it kicked it in frustration. “It’s the mother’s mother.”
The large gray rabbit was caught off guard by the kick. Its long, pricked-up ears drooped pitifully, and it quickly moved away from its violent peer. “Oh, I see. It’s the Empress Dowager and the Grand Empress Dowager!”
“Paying our respects to the Empress Dowager!”
“Paying our respects to the Grand Empress Dowager!”
…
Hearing the large gray rabbit’s words, the group of small animals actually began to solemnly bow towards the tombstones.
Hao Ren’s originally somber mood was stirred up by them, and she couldn’t feel somber anymore. She placed the fruit in front of the grave and bent down to pull out the weeds around the tombstone. When her grandmother was alive, she would come to pay her respects every so often. Now that her grandmother was gone, the area was immediately overgrown with weeds. Compared to herself, her mother was actually happy, right? At least there was one person in this world who loved her without asking for anything in return. Even after she was gone, that person still thought of her constantly. If it were her, there might not even be anyone to visit her grave after she died.
Silly woman, you clearly had someone who loved you so deeply, why couldn’t you see it? Your moment of weakness not only cost a mother her beloved daughter but also deprived a child of a lifetime of a mother’s love and protection.
Hao Ren sighed faintly, recalling her past memories with her grandmother. She didn’t know if it was because she was old, but when she was with her grandmother, she seemed to be constantly reminiscing about the past, and the focus of her reminiscence was always her ill-fated daughter. Although Hao Ren couldn’t even remember what her mother looked like, she knew more about her than anyone else.
The first time she wore a floral dress, the first time she wore a red scarf, the first time she became a class officer, even the bewildered look on her face when she got her first period…
Although that person was no longer there, her grandmother’s expression was always especially gentle when she spoke of the past, as if she had penetrated the torrent of time and once again saw the little daughter who had made her so proud. Every time Hao Ren sat in her grandmother’s lap, she always hoped that she could maintain that gentle expression. Unfortunately, whenever the topic turned to her, tears would inevitably well up in her grandmother’s eyes.
“When she was pregnant with you, she had terrible morning sickness. She would throw up whatever she ate. So she would eat, throw up, and then eat again. Sometimes it was so hard to watch that I would tell her not to force herself, but she would always say that no matter how sick she felt, she couldn’t let the baby in her belly go hungry.”
“Of all things, she loved fruit the most. She said that if she ate a lot of fruit, her daughter would have good skin in the future. The reason your skin is so fair and good now is because of all the fruit she ate back then.”
“I don’t know if it was a mother-daughter connection, but before you were even born, she was certain you were a girl. If she were still alive, you would definitely be her little princess, held in the palm of her hand like a precious jewel.”
“Thank goodness she left you behind. If it weren’t for you, this old bag of bones would have surely followed her. But if I’m gone, what will happen to you, all alone?”
“She’s gone, sigh, why did she have to be gone…”
An image of her grandmother’s face as she lay on her deathbed, clutching her hand, her eyes wide open, flashed through Hao Ren’s mind, and tears streamed from her eyes. She didn’t know if she was crying for her grandmother, for her mother, or for herself, left all alone in this world by the two of them.
“Girl, are you crying?” Sensing her distress, Daizi looked concerned.
“No, the wind is too strong, it got in my eyes!” With so many small animals watching, Hao Ren quickly wiped away her tears.
Hao Ren was about to continue clearing the weeds by the grave, but after rubbing her eyes, she found that the surrounding weeds had already been cleared away. Not only was there not a single blade of grass, but even the roots had been dug out. A few rabbits were there, enthusiastically enjoying this wonderful extra meal. The field mice were gathered together, nibbling on the grass roots. Sensing Hao Ren’s gaze, these creatures’ movements paused in unison.
“Your Majesty, don’t cry! If you need anything, just say the word, and we’ll do it for you!” The gray rabbit closest to her reached out a furry front paw and patted the back of her foot.
Hao Ren looked around, and the small animals all nodded in unison. Imagining the reason for her tears from the small animals’ perspective, Hao Ren didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Could these guys think I was crying because I found pulling weeds too tiring?
“Thank you!” Hao Ren was both touched and conflicted. She could only bend down and stroke the head of the nearest gray rabbit.
After visiting the grave, Hao Ren turned to leave. Halfway there, she remembered that she had left the plastic bag for the fruit behind and quickly turned back to get it. To her surprise, she happened to see the small animals stealing the offerings. No wonder these guys weren’t in a hurry to leave, so that was why!
“Ah, we’ve been discovered!” A small bird had its head buried in a ripe mango, pecking furiously. Seeing Hao Ren appear, it embarrassedly covered its eyes with its wings.
With Hao Ren’s appearance, not only did the small animals busy eating stop their movements, but even the few that were fighting over the food froze in place.
“You guys are really eager. Never mind, you can eat it!” The offerings left here would only turn to dust in the end. It was better to let them eat it. Hao Ren generously waved for them to continue and even took out a tissue from her pocket to wipe the face of a sparrow that had gotten fruit pulp in its eyes.
“Party Time!” As soon as Hao Ren’s words fell, a strange and hoarse voice sounded in the air.
Hearing this perfectly pronounced English phrase, Hao Ren realized that among the flock of birds stood a brightly colored macaw. This fellow was not only fluent in English but also had a leg band with its name engraved on it. It had probably snuck out from its owner’s home. After shouting, this fellow even enthusiastically performed a dance. Seeing its excited appearance, its owner must not be a quiet person either.
With the imperial edict to begin, the small animals ate even more happily. Seeing them eat so happily, Hao Ren also took out the pinecones, potatoes, and goji berries that she had planned to take home so as not to hurt their feelings.
Since they were eating here, Hao Ren was in no hurry to leave. She planned to stay and clean up the mess they left behind. Although they could pull weeds, Hao Ren didn’t think they could do things like cleaning up. She didn’t want her mother’s grave to be a mess after she had visited.
After doing a few somersaults and finishing a ballroom dance, the crazy macaw suddenly flew in front of Hao Ren and, like a human, extended one of its wings to its chest and bowed gracefully.
“Your Majesty the Queen, let me sing you a song!” Although it made a request, it had already started singing before Hao Ren could agree.
“In this world, only Mama is good,
A child with a mother is like a treasure,
Thrown into Mama’s embrace,
Happiness is endless.
In this world, only Mama is good,
A child without a mother is like a blade of grass,
…”
Hao Ren had thought it was singing through mental induction like the little birds that had disturbed her exam with viral hits before, but to her surprise, this fellow was using perfectly pronounced Chinese. Although its voice was hoarse and rough, its pitch was perfect. It sang “Only Mama is Good in this World” with great emotion and feeling.
Hao Ren had already calmed down, but hearing the macaw’s hoarse singing, she finally couldn’t hold back and once again burst into tears. Seeing her cry, the small animals that had been battling with their food all stopped their movements and gathered around her with concern, asking her what was wrong.
Feeling the genuine concern of the small animals, a warm current flowed through Hao Ren’s heart. For the first time, she felt fortunate to be alive in this world.
“Mom, thank you for not taking me with you back then!” Before leaving, she turned back and said something towards the cemetery that she would never have been able to say in her past life.
The sun had already risen to its zenith, and the scorching sunlight was so dazzling that it was hard to open one’s eyes. With a smile on her face, Hao Ren strode forward towards the sun. She firmly believed that this reborn life of hers would be even more brilliant than today’s sunshine!