“2018.01.20 Sunny”
The secret belonging only to those in love from afar was—glancing toward you stealthily over the crowd.
—Excerpted from Tao Shuran’s Diary
The distance to the person one liked resembled endless rain, drawing near and far by turns.
A gust of wind blew, and that eager rain finally fell upon her face as desired, only to vanish the next instant, as if it had all been an illusion.
Tao Shuran stood before Liang Yuanjing and tilted her head up. She could clearly see her own reflection in his clear eyes.
He was so frank, so pure.
She also understood that his words had nothing to do with romance; they stemmed solely from a promise.
He had said he would help her realize her dream of Qing University because she had kindly comforted him that rainy day.
Thus, he returned the favor by treating her well.
He took her studies seriously; this was a promise devoid of any amorous intent.
But liking someone required no such reciprocity, nor any keeping of scores.
Tao Shuran forced a smile, tinged with bitterness, as she accepted his kindness.
After Fu Changpei left, Fang Qingyi dragged Tao Shuran to the inpatient ward again.
She felt a bit shy and hesitated outside the door for two minutes before finally steeling herself to knock.
Before entering, Tao Shuran heard Fang Qingyi nervously muttering to her that her father had a familiar friend who was a doctor at Municipal First Hospital—reportedly even a minor leader there.
But she was just a student, after all, and this was her first time making small talk with an adult. She was so nervous her tongue tied itself in knots.
“Whatever, for Fu Changpei.” Fang Qingyi stepped inside with the resolve of someone marching to their doom. “I’m going all in.”
Upon seeing the doctor, Fang Qingyi clasped her hands together and pleaded earnestly with the man before her. “Doctor Zhou, the patient in Ward 302 is my good friend’s grandpa. Please take extra good care of him. I’m really, really begging you.”
When they emerged, Tao Shuran held her hand and felt the sweat soaking the girl’s palm.
She pulled a tissue from her pocket and glanced up. “About asking someone to arrange a single bed for his grandpa—you’re really not planning to tell Fu Changpei?”
“No. He’s the type to overthink things. Telling him would just burden him more.”
Fang Qingyi shot her a look. “Besides, last month when Liang Yuanjing was sick, you secretly slipped fever reducers into his drawer, but you didn’t tell him it was you either, right?”
“Little Yi…” Tao Shuran parted her lips, then held back.
“I know.” Fang Qingyi gave her a look that said no more words were needed, a smile coloring her face. “I get it.”
This was the secret shared among those in love from afar, a tacit understanding.
For some reason, the news of Grandpa Fu Changpei’s illness and hospitalization spread through the class and morphed into rumors of some classmate suffering a severe injury and being hospitalized.
By the time it reached the Art Class, it had become Liang Yuanjing injuring his leg during basketball and ending up in the hospital.
With half an hour still before class, Fang Shiyue hurried over, accidentally bumping into two classmates along the way as she apologized profusely.
Tao Shuran happened to be returning from fetching water.
Fang Shiyue grabbed her arm at once. “Tao Shuran, how’s Liang Yuanjing? I heard his leg got broken.”
“Where’d you hear that rumor?”
Seeing her on the verge of tears, Tao Shuran patted Fang Shiyue’s shoulder gently. “He’s fine. The teacher just called him to the office to carry exam papers.”
As long as his leg wasn’t broken.
Fang Shiyue breathed a sigh of relief, fished a scarf from her pocket, and shyly bowed her head. “I knitted this scarf myself. Could you give it to Liang Yuanjing for me?”
Tao Shuran did not reach out.
Her heart wavered. Even guarding his side as a friend, delivering another girl’s gift to the boy she liked remained a cruel task.
In the few seconds Tao Shuran hesitated, Liang Yuanjing appeared from around the corner at the end of the hallway.
Fang Shiyue’s eyes lit up. Ignoring everything else, she immediately tiptoed over in a jog.
She spread her arms to block Liang Yuanjing, then circled him front and back, inspecting him thoroughly. Only upon confirming he was unharmed did she let out a long breath.
As an outstanding student from the Art Class, Fang Shiyue was one of the school’s renowned beauties. Her arrival naturally stirred some commotion.
Especially her interaction with Liang Yuanjing.
Whispers already rose around them. Liang Yuanjing disliked being scrutinized from all sides.
He lowered his gaze, his tone calm.
“I’m fine.”
Fang Shiyue: “That’s good.”
In the brief exchange, the surrounding classmates began murmuring.
“Are those two really dating?”
“If he rejected her, with Fang Shiyue’s pride, would she keep coming over every day?”
“I think they’re really together too. They’re probably just not admitting it yet, scared of getting punished.”
“Hey, Tao Shuran, you’re always hanging out with Liang Yuanjing and the others. Do you know if he’s dating anyone?”
Tao Shuran stood in place, feeling her heart like an inflated balloon pricked by a needle—all emotions dissipating, leaving only faint, shallow sorrow.
This was secret love: without overt, declared affection, even the melancholy felt solitary and quiet.
Would Liang Yuanjing like Fang Shiyue?
She was beautiful, radiant, flamboyant—possessing a brightness and brilliance Tao Shuran could not match.
“I don’t know.”
Tao Shuran shook her head. The thermos in her hand seemed to grow hot, its insulated emotions nearly spilling out.
She turned swiftly and walked away.
…
Liang Yuanjing still held Tao Shuran’s workbook and hadn’t given it back to her before she vanished from sight.
He tilted his head slightly. The girl before him blocked his path completely.
He felt a bit annoyed inside, but his good upbringing kept him from snapping at a girl in public. He merely glanced at the surroundings and said coolly, “Let’s talk, Fang Shiyue.”
Fang Shiyue’s heart sank with a thud. She followed him slowly toward an empty room at the end of the hallway.
She already had a premonition.
Yet when Liang Yuanjing voiced his rejection, she still felt heartbroken.
Tears welled up instantly. She looked up at him—this boy she had fallen for at first sight on the basketball court. At this moment, he gazed down at her.
His dark pupils were deep; his lashes long. Most times, they drooped, veiling half his iris and lending an air of aloofness.
It was this face: she had seen it shine, seen it gentle, seen it unrestrained. Today, she finally witnessed its cold ruthlessness.
Fang Shiyue choked out, “Liang Yuanjing, you don’t have to like me.”
“But along with your right to reject me, you can’t like anyone else either.”
“Because that would make me so sad, so hurt. At least until Gaokao ends, can you promise not to like anyone else?”
Her final tone turned utterly humble, nothing like the lofty Fang Shiyue.
Liang Yuanjing said, “No.”
His voice remained calm, leaving no room for tenderness.
“You’re no one to me. You have no right to demand that.”
Fang Shiyue raised her head, her tear-blurred eyes staring at him in disbelief. After a moment, she let out a miserable laugh and wiped the tears from her eyes.
Staring at his expressionless face, she said coldly, laced with the resentment of rejection:
“Liang Yuanjing, they’re right. You really are a heartbreaker.”
Liang Yuanjing was no stranger to such words.
He lowered his gaze, concealing all emotion, and walked forward silently. His straight back never turned, appearing utterly unapproachable.
Fang Shiyue knew there would be no possibility between them anymore.
The tender fairy tale she had fantasized shattered today, like a witch’s mirror.
She squatted down and sobbed messily.
The commotion drew attention, and in the end, Liang Yuanjing was called to the office for a scolding.
Tao Shuran felt it was unfair.
It clearly wasn’t his fault; he had merely exercised his right to refuse. Why should he face blame?
By the time Liang Yuanjing emerged from the office after writing his self-criticism, most of the first study period had passed.
The classroom was quiet, save for the murmurs when he entered.
Liang Yuanjing ignored everyone, pulled out his chair, and sat. After a moment, he tapped the edge of the desk with his fingertip.
“Tao Shuran, bring over that Error Notebook of yours.”
The boy’s voice rang out crisp and bright, seemingly unaffected. Even so, Tao Shuran’s worried gaze fell on his face.
Out of friendly concern, she asked cautiously, “Are you okay?”
“What would be wrong with me?”
Liang Yuanjing lifted his eyelids to glance at her. Beneath his thin, deep lids, faint blue veins were visible. He leaned back slightly, exuding defiance and wildness.
“With only 138 days left until Gaokao, nothing matters more than going over your questions.”
Tao Shuran could almost picture Liang Yuanjing after starting to date, using an irresistibly doting tone to tell his girlfriend, “Nothing matters more than you.”
Her heart felt entwined by invisible threads—blood thrilling from the tension, yet aching from the restraint.
“Okay.” She tucked away her myriad emotions and obediently opened the notebook, her gaze settling on his brows and eyes.
“Liang Yuanjing, let’s keep going over the questions.” Tao Shuran lowered her eyes and said softly, in a voice only they could hear, “Don’t listen to what others say about you.”
Liang Yuanjing looked up, raising a brow with interest.
Truth be told, Tao Shuran was the most perceptive girl he had ever met. She seemed able to catch those subtle emotions hidden in corners with her clear, translucent eyes.
To many, being pursued by so many girls like stars around the moon was pure bliss. For him, the pursued, to show even slight impatience seemed ungrateful.
Liang Yuanjing refused to linger in such vague affections, so he severed all ambiguity with a swift blade.
Being cold meant he was never consoled.
For someone to suddenly say this now surprised him, though his face retained its usual nonchalance.
He propped his chin on his hand and leaned in playfully to peer into her clear, bright eyes.
“So what do you think I should do?”
Liang Yuanjing probably didn’t realize how devastatingly lethal his face was.
The sudden closeness, their eyes locking— in that instant, Tao Shuran froze in place. She blinked, and the world fell silent.
Her eyes held only him entirely.
And for Liang Yuanjing, this was the closest he had ever been to a girl.
He quickly came to his senses, stood abruptly, snapped the Error Notebook shut, grabbed the water cup from the desk, told her to work on the questions herself, and hurried off.
But in that moment of turning, Liang Yuanjing suddenly recalled the scene—he had seen all of himself in her eyes.
So focused, as if gathering all the light.
Her eyes were like a crystal ball, beautiful.
She was right: don’t listen to what others said.
Looking into her eyes, he understood: be himself.
When the Gaokao countdown entered 100 days, the exam atmosphere stretched to its fullest tension.
Tao Shuran already sensed subtle changes at home, hidden in the details.
From Zhao Yanyun’s softened door-closing upon returning at night, to the hot milk Tao Hongfeng brought every late night.
Tao Shuran worked even harder, compressing her sleep further. She rose at five a.m. to memorize, standing alone on the balcony. When Tao Hongfeng came to hang laundry after breakfast, she startled him badly.
Even the ever-demanding Zhao Yanyun felt she was overdoing it.
She even proactively gave her pocket money, suggesting she go shopping with friends sometime.
Tao Shuran shook her head.
Later, reflecting on those days, she realized she had become a clockwork machine, stopping only upon reaching Qing University.
What did Qing University mean?
Standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Liang Yuanjing.
On another rest day, unable to stand her burying herself in study at home, Tao Hongfeng found an excuse and had Tao Shuran deliver vegetables to the Fu Changpei family next door.
Tao Shuran messaged Fu Changpei first, asking if he was home.
“Yep, A Jing’s here too.”
Seeing this, Tao Shuran’s fingertip paused. She turned to ask Tao Hongfeng in the kitchen, “Dad, are we making sweet-and-sour ribs for lunch?”
“Yeah, perfect timing. Come help Dad taste if the flavor’s right.”
Tao Shuran said, “Can I pack some to send over to Fu Changpei’s family together?”
“Sure.” Tao Hongfeng agreed readily. “That kid from Old Fu’s family likes sweet and sour ribs too?”
Tao Shuran hummed in response.
She lowered her head and quickly snapped the lid on the lunchbox, but her heart was already a complete mess.
She had lied. The one who liked sweet and sour ribs had never been Fu Changpei, just like her heart—every time she went across the hall, the one she wanted to see was someone else.
Before leaving, Tao Shuran tidied her hair in front of the bathroom mirror.
She had recently gotten bangs, and because of the holiday, her hair naturally draped down on both sides of her shoulders, making her look especially sweet and obedient.
She walked 367 steps, raised her hand, and knocked on Fu Changpei’s door.
But this time, her heart beat exceptionally fast. Tao Shuran had never felt such anticipation before.
The door opened.
It was the person she wanted to see.
Liang Yuanjing raised his hand to lightly cover her lips, shut the door behind him as he stepped out, and made a shushing gesture.
Tao Shuran’s pupils dilated.
The entire space was filled with the faint fragrance from the young man’s raised hand. Her eyelashes trembled, and her gaze drifted unfocused to the hem of his clothes, as if all her breath had been stolen by his scent.
Liking someone felt wondrous.
The wonder of picking out his scent amid a myriad of dust motes.
“Wait a bit before going in,” Liang Yuanjing said in a lowered voice. “They’re arguing inside.”
Only a sliver of the door remained ajar, from which faint sounds of quarreling drifted out.
Tao Shuran’s eyes widened in disbelief. She could not imagine that the woman hysterically shouting inside was the gentle and amiable Teacher Song she usually saw in the hallway.
She immediately tugged at Liang Yuanjing and said, “I want to buy a few textbooks. How about we check out the bookstore downstairs?”
Tao Shuran had not expected Liang Yuanjing to agree.
After all, he did not look like someone with nowhere to go.
But Liang Yuanjing glanced at her and said, “Okay.”
Tao Shuran rarely had chances to be alone with Liang Yuanjing.
Most of the time, Fang Qingyi and Fu Changpei were always between her and him. This girl chattered nonstop whenever she saw the person she liked, and there was never an awkward silence.
Now, only she remained.
Tao Shuran frowned inwardly, racking her brain for topics and resenting her own clumsy tongue.
In the bookstore, she picked out two past exam papers and wove through a pile of colorful supplementary books. Gradually, Tao Shuran’s footsteps halted in front of a row of popular science reads.
Following her gaze, Liang Yuanjing picked up a book and asked casually, “You’re still interested in flight?”
Tao Shuran hummed.
Liang Yuanjing took an interest. He hugged the books with both hands, his gaze falling from above onto her face as he asked with a hint of probing curiosity,
“Then share with me what you know.”
Being watched by the person you liked was both a happiness and a challenge.
Tao Shuran felt the air around her growing thin.
She took a deep breath, met his eyes, and slowly began.
“I know the world’s largest twin-engine plane is the Boeing 777, the fastest wide-body twin-engine plane is the Boeing 777-300, and the plane with the longest flight range is the Boeing 777-300X.”
“One hour before takeoff, the crew must arrive at the airport, check the flight documents, observe the weather conditions, perform the pre-takeoff checks, then taxi out, take off, enter the airway, and arrive at the destination.”
She also knew his favorite plane was the F-22, a heavy stealth air superiority fighter with sleek curves.
In a certain drawing competition, Liang Yuanjing had whimsically sketched this plane and taken first place.
Tao Shuran knew all these things. She knew his dream of soaring into the skies had never changed.
Some people were born to belong to the vast sky.
And destined to be looked up to.
After listening to her, a flicker of surprise flashed in Liang Yuanjing’s eyes. He had not expected the mild-mannered girl before him to be an aviation enthusiast too.
His fingers gripped the book’s spine. Suddenly thinking of something, he propped his hand on the bookshelf and slowly leaned down to meet her gaze at eye level.
As if he had to peer into her eyes to check for any trace of lying.
Tao Shuran’s heart pounded nervously.
With a hint of testing, Liang Yuanjing leaned closer. “Don’t tell me the person you like is from our Flight Class?”