Christmas was approaching, and the weather grew increasingly severe. Huo Chuxue felt she never got enough sleep every day, wishing she could curl up in her quilt for all twenty-four hours.
Getting up for work in the morning, she bundled herself up tightly, but it still couldn’t withstand the city’s howling, wicked wind. When the wind blew, it felt like it could freeze your bones off.
The sky was gloomy and oppressive, with great masses of dark clouds piled up on the horizon, impossible to disperse.
The wind was strong. The phoenix trees by the roadside shivered and swayed in the cold wind, shedding a ground full of withered branches and dead leaves.
Early in the morning, Fang Ru called Huo Chuxue to her office. “Doctor Yan has taken a sick day today. Could you cover her outpatient clinic in the gynecology department?”
Huo Chuxue asked, “What about the obstetrics department here?”
Fang Ru said softly, “Doctors Zhang and Liu are holding the fort. We have enough hands.”
“Alright then, I’ll head to the outpatient building in a bit.”
Working the outpatient clinic was easier than being in surgery, so Huo Chuxue was naturally quite willing.
For the entire morning, the patients she saw were basically all pregnant women, all routine check-ups that required no mental effort at all.
At five past eleven, the little nurse said to Huo Chuxue, “There’s just one left. You can clock out after this one.”
Huo Chuxue leaned back in her chair and patted her own flat stomach. “Let’s finish quickly. I’m starving.”
The little nurse giggled. “Me too.”
She stood up, stretched, and sat back down. She pulled her phone out from the drawer; she hadn’t had time to look at it all morning.
On WeChat, He Qingshi had sent her several voice messages, asking her out for lunch.
This old-fashioned man, under her tutelage, had now grown accustomed to using modern social software, and quite fluently at that.
She quickly replied to He Qingshi on WeChat. While typing, she said to the nurse, “Let the patient in.”
The little nurse nodded. “Okay, Doctor Huo.”
Soon, Huo Chuxue heard a set of very light footsteps. She put her phone aside, raised a hand, and pointed. “Please, have a seat.”
The moment she looked up, their eyes met. The girl opposite immediately paled drastically.
“It’s you?” Huo Chuxue was quite surprised.
“You… you’re Doctor Yan?” Jiang Nuan was utterly ill at ease, her words stammering, her body stiff as a board, not knowing where to put her hands and feet.
“Doctor Yan is on leave. I’m covering for her today.”
“Then I won’t see a doctor.” Jiang Nuan shot up straight from the chair, clutching her bag strap tightly. From the force, her knuckles turned slightly white.
“Wait.” Huo Chuxue directly pressed down on Jiang Nuan’s right hand. The girl’s hand was ice-cold, without a trace of warmth. It was hard to tell if it was from the cold or from nervousness.
At the physical contact, Jiang Nuan was startled, reflexively jerking back from the chair, wrapping her arms around herself, looking frightened.
Such an over-the-top reaction was truly beyond Huo Chuxue’s expectations.
“Doctor Yan and I are both attending physicians. Whatever she can handle, I can handle for you as well.” Huo Chuxue slowly twirled the pen in her hand, her expression exceptionally calm.
“I’m not seeing anyone!” Jiang Nuan insisted, “I’m not!”
“How many months along?” Huo Chuxue’s gaze fell on the girl’s lower abdomen, her words shocking.
Jiang Nuan jolted, looking at the woman opposite with disbelief. “What… what are you talking about? How many months for what?”
“The earlier an abortion is performed, the better. The embryo grows at an astonishing speed inside the mother’s body every moment. Every extra day of delay is detrimental for you.” Huo Chuxue remained calm, stating the facts methodically, her voice steady and firm.
Jiang Nuan looked as if struck by lightning, her face deathly pale, not a trace of color to be seen. Her eyes were despairing and hollow, veiled in a thick fog, completely lacking the sharpness and vitality a girl of twenty years should have.
The two thin straps of her canvas bag hung deeply on her shoulders, as if they could crush her under their weight the next second.
It seemed her intuition had been right. When she saw this girl in He Qingshi’s office last time, she had a faint premonition that this child might be hiding something major in her heart.
But why did this girl go to see He Qingshi that day?
For a moment, a strange feeling actually arose in Huo Chuxue’s heart.
“You… you… how do you know?” Jiang Nuan widened her eyes, her expression frightened. At this moment, she was like a hedgehog, bristling with spines, full of wariness.
“I’m an obstetrician. I’ve seen this sort of thing far too often.” Huo Chuxue stood up and slowly walked over to Jiang Nuan. She took the canvas bag off the girl’s shoulder and hung it on the chair instead.
She wanted to help Jiang Nuan sit down. But the girl was very wary of her. The moment Huo Chuxue’s hands reached out, Jiang Nuan shrank back violently, nearly bumping into the wall.
This girl’s stress response was too intense. It was very likely she had suffered some blow before.
Huo Chuxue’s hands froze mid-air and could only slowly retract. “A girl failing to protect herself and having an accident is very normal, not shameful. Don’t feel like disaster has struck. There’s always a solution to everything. Be more careful next time. Don’t hurt your own body for the sake of momentary stimulation.”
Jiang Nuan hunched her shoulders, not saying a word. The whole person was like a silent statue, motionless, lifeless.
She bit her lower lip fiercely, so hard she broke the skin. Blood seeped out, the taste of iron spreading between her lips and teeth. Her hands were under the table, clenched into fists, nails digging deeply into her palms, yet she didn’t feel any pain at all.
Huo Chuxue fetched a cup of hot water from the water dispenser and placed it in front of her. “It’s cold. Have a drink to warm up first.”
“No need.” Jiang Nuan stood there by herself, unmoved, refusing coldly.
Huo Chuxue didn’t press her. She just left the cup of hot water on the table.
“I’m a doctor. I strictly adhere to professional ethics. I won’t disclose a patient’s privacy to anyone. You can rest assured on that point. Since you’ve already come to the hospital, don’t delay. Resolve it early, and you can put your mind at ease sooner.” Huo Chuxue’s expression was gentle, her voice soft, trying her best to be convincing. “Let’s go get an ultrasound first, see how big the embryo is, and then we’ll decide, okay?”
Jiang Nuan was silent for a long while. Suddenly, she grabbed the sleeve of Huo Chuxue’s white coat with force, her tone almost pleading. “Please, I beg you, absolutely do not tell Teacher He… don’t tell him…”
So resolute, so firm, it was unsettling.
Huo Chuxue’s heart gave a jolt, a few strange feelings surging in her chest. She promised, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.”
—
The ultrasound showed Jiang Nuan was eight weeks pregnant. Huo Chuxue wrote her a slip and arranged for her to have an abortion.
For this, she even specially asked a colleague to arrange a spot for Jiang Nuan nearby.
But the abortion surgery schedule was packed. Even though the colleague let Jiang Nuan jump the queue, she was still placed last.
The girl sat in the waiting area for her number to be called, alone and solitary, a pitiful sight.
Huo Chuxue waited with Jiang Nuan for a while, but there was no sign of the girl’s boyfriend.
She quickly asked Jiang Nuan, “Where’s your boyfriend? You’re having surgery. Why isn’t he here with you?”
“Boyfriend?” Jiang Nuan’s eyes were empty, like a wandering ghost, her expression even more numb.
“Yes, this kind of surgery requires someone to accompany you.” Huo Chuxue grew somewhat anxious. “Call him right now, tell him to come over immediately. He needs to be here with you.”
“My boyfriend… he… he’s very busy…” Jiang Nuan’s eyes dodged, and she began to fidget again.
“Busy?” Huo Chuxue sneered. “Break up with him as soon as you get back. A boyfriend like that isn’t worth keeping!”
—
Running into Jiang Nuan, Huo Chuxue also lost her mood to have lunch with He Qingshi. She sent him a WeChat message and directly canceled their noon date.
For the afternoon clinic, she felt somewhat restless and distracted all afternoon. The image of Jiang Nuan’s expression replayed over and over in her mind, scene after scene, impossible to shake off.
As it neared the end of her shift, she went to the operating room again.
Jiang Nuan had just walked out of the operating room. Her face was ghastly pale. She clutched her stomach, her expression pained.
And outside the operating room door, there was still no sign of her boyfriend.
As soon as she came out, a tall, slender girl hurried forward to help her sit down on a chair.
Jiang Nuan looked up and saw Huo Chuxue. She lowered her head and said a few words to that girl, and the girl left.
Huo Chuxue walked up. “Are you okay?”
“I’m alright.” Jiang Nuan showed gratitude. “Thank you, Doctor Huo, for today.”
“How are you getting back later?”
“My friend will take me back.”
“After you go back, follow the doctor’s orders and take good care of your health. Girls need to cherish themselves. Don’t ever suffer this kind of pain again.”
“Don’t worry, Doctor Huo. It won’t happen again. This is the last time.” The girl’s eyes revealed a firm look, as if making a promise to herself.
Huo Chuxue didn’t pay it much mind, simply thinking she had learned her lesson and had a sudden awakening.
Huo Chuxue said, “I have things to do. I need to get going. Be careful on your way back.”
Seeing she was about to leave, Jiang Nuan grabbed her hand forcefully again. “Doctor Huo, I beg you, please don’t tell Teacher He.”
Huo Chuxue felt as if she had been punched hard in the chest, her heart sinking. After a long pause, she replied, “Don’t worry, I won’t.”
—
Huo Chuxue always felt something wasn’t right. There must be a problem with Jiang Nuan being like this.
Returning to the consultation room, it was already past quitting time.
The little nurse had changed her clothes but saw Huo Chuxue still sitting listlessly in the consultation room. She asked in surprise, “We’re off work already, Doctor Huo. Aren’t you leaving?”
“You go ahead. I still need to sort out some materials.” Huo Chuxue showed a smile, but her expression seemed somewhat weary.
The little nurse didn’t suspect anything. “Then I’ll head off first. Goodbye, Doctor Huo.”
“Goodbye.”
After the little nurse left, the consultation room grew even more silent.
The indoor heating was turned up high, warm air blowing out continuously through the vents in all directions.
On the desk still sat the cup of water she had poured for Jiang Nuan earlier, now completely cold.
She walked to the window and looked down from the second floor. People came and went constantly at the hospital entrance.
With one glance, she spotted two familiar people standing together talking.