Admin 01 had a point.
Desensitization means first facing the sensitivity, then gradually raising the threshold for the sensitive stimulus.
For example, desensitizing a puppy to blow-drying requires a step-by-step approach.
Starting from just taking out the dryer and rewarding, to bringing the dryer close without the puppy fussing and rewarding, until the puppy can tolerate the dryer right in front of it without any sensitive reaction; next step, turn on the dryer, reward when the puppy hears the sound, until the puppy can ignore the sound, then reward immediately when the air hits its body; when the air on its body no longer triggers a reaction, extend the time before rewarding, until the puppy can cooperate through the entire drying process. Only then is desensitization for that one task complete.
So how many steps would he need to desensitize to Jiang Ying?
Su Heng couldn’t figure it out.
And what could serve as his reward?
Su Heng didn’t know.
Perhaps her compliments, her touch, her hugs, and her kisses. When he approached her quietly, without making noise or fuss, she would give him these “rewards” like coaxing a puppy. And indeed… he liked them very much.
But those very gestures were yet another thing he needed to desensitize himself to.
He was not a dog… For a person, his desensitization method was nothing more than exposure therapy: continuously confronting it until he adapted.
Continuously accepting her compliments, her touch, her hugs, and her kisses, until he grew so accustomed to them that they no longer caused any physical reaction.
Come to think of it, that sounded no different from how they were already interacting.
So why hadn’t he desensitized?
Because he hadn’t had enough contact yet?
Maybe that was exactly why.
This was his first heat. He had never experienced any of this, so being sensitive was understandable.
Su Heng firmly believed that with his willpower, as long as he spent enough time and had enough contact with her, he would absolutely complete this so-called desensitization therapy.
【Su】: Thanks, I’ll give it a try.
As for the suppressant patch allergy, he decided that once he got in touch with Qu Sheng, he would ask him to recommend a beastman clinic.
Having obtained the most likely analysis of his current symptoms, yet still temporarily “helpless,” Su Heng had no choice but to start preparing for desensitization.
He changed out of the clothes splashed with vinegar.
The smell of the vinegar was rather pungent. He didn’t eat vinegar often, couldn’t say he disliked it or liked it, but at close range he frowned slightly.
For some reason, the image of her interacting with that other beastman floated before his eyes again.
Earlier when she returned, it was under the stimulation of his suppressant patch allergy symptoms, with his mind unceasingly imagining her being carried bridal style by that beastman, that he had momentarily lost control and lifted her with his tail.
Now that he had removed the suppressant patch and cooled down a bit, another thought surfaced: could it be that in her eyes, beastmen were nothing more than creatures for humans to amuse themselves with?
He didn’t know what that place was for, but from the video on the phone he’d seen at the time, and from what he’d heard those female students say, that beastman was clearly there to please the women present.
So she wasn’t only treating him like this… she was treating other beastmen the same way…
If that were truly the case, then what was he, agonizing over her every gesture?
…Regardless of whether he could switch to another suppressant product, he absolutely had to complete his desensitization to her.
He picked up the clothes he’d changed out of, intending to put them in the washing machine.
When he reached the bathroom door, he realized it was still closed.
He had already lingered in the room for quite a while. Why was she still in there?
Was she taking a shower?
But he hadn’t heard the sound of water from the showerhead.
Had something happened?
Su Heng halted his steps and knocked on the door from outside. “What’s wrong? You’ve been in there a long time.”
Even though he tried hard to conceal it, his voice was still hoarse.
The side effects of the suppressant patch allergy hadn’t completely subsided, and with only a door between them, he was still distracted by the scent of catnip seeping through the crack.
Calm down, calm down.
He told himself: the first step now was to desensitize to her pheromones.
He shifted his attention away from the scent and focused on sound.
There was a “thump” from inside, as if something had fallen into the sink. Immediately came the flustered voice of the girl: “N-Nothing! …I’ll come out right away!…”
It was followed by a notification chime of “new reply received.” The sound wasn’t loud, but for a canine beastman’s hearing, it was clear as day.
“Id ‘EataSleepSleepaEat’ replied to you: Then just enjoy yourself! Beastmen are really good at licking, especially canine beastmen, they’re simply the top choice for service-type partners—”
Enjoy… good at licking… service-type partner…
Su Heng jolted and froze in place.
He looked up in disbelief, and the faint hope that had been hanging in his heart plummeted at that one sentence: So she really… thought that way?
Even more, in the instant his breath caught, the voice from her phone was suddenly blasted at full volume:
“—Poster, you should try it, guaranteed satisfaction. During the heat cycle it’s so good you won’t even know what hit you, hehehehe…”
What did that mean, so good you won’t know…
He didn’t even have the shame to mentally repeat that sentence.
Su Heng opened his mouth and closed it again, unable to utter a word for a long moment. After his eyes flickered for a good while, he barely managed to speak: “…What are you doing?”
A few seconds of silence.
With a splash, the door was pulled open right in front of him. Jiang Ying’s cheeks and lips still held some un-wiped water; her expression was awkward, tinged with a hint of conflict and worry.
She seemed to want to say something, but the moment he saw her face, he suddenly couldn’t hear her voice.
A feeling he couldn’t identify welled up in his chest. Perhaps it was grievance—he wasn’t sure and didn’t want to admit it. Or maybe indignation, but what was there to be angry about? She was a human girl who was fundamentally his enemy, treating him as a plaything, a tool, or simply a dog. Yet here he was, the one hiding his identity and deceiving her, going mad with the sense that he was the one who’d been wronged—and that shamed him even more.
Even the voice he produced was strained with shame and indignation. He knew that whether it was shame or indignation, it wasn’t directed at her, but at himself, for inexplicably losing control.
Su Heng looked down at her, his voice trembling.
“…I thought you hired me to be your eyes. What did all that just now mean? I…”
He hadn’t prepared any argument.
As expected, it didn’t come out as a complete sentence when spoken.
What was even harder to accept was that somewhere in his mind, a voice identical to his own, was wickedly amplifying that shameful thought to maximum volume.
So what if she really thought that way?
From the very beginning, hadn’t he been… doing very well?
That impulse, just barely held at bay, was trying to interfere with his actions again.
Su Heng couldn’t control himself as he drew closer to her, leaning in. The moment he sensed her attempt to retreat, he subconsciously pressed down on her shoulder.
It wasn’t a particularly intimate physical contact, yet he had to labor hard to suppress the excited trembling of his body.
Not to mention the high-sensitivity sensors in his mechanical arm—in his struggle against instinct, he unconsciously tightened his grip.
He had to desensitize.
He had to make things clear with her. He couldn’t accept developing that sort of… that sort of improper relationship with her.
He was about to speak when he heard the girl’s cautious voice: “Su Heng, that hurts.”
Her voice wasn’t loud, but it struck through his heart like a bolt of lightning.
Only then did he belatedly realize that he was the one overstepping, not her.
“…I’m sorry.”
Su Heng withdrew his hand and it hung in midair, frozen in awkward uncertainty for a long while before he remembered to let it drop to his side.
He stepped back with difficulty, instantly understanding that this unprepared desensitization training had already ended in failure.
The girl in front of him was staring at his Adam’s apple.
He knew she wasn’t doing it intentionally; it was just that each time he approached, he instinctively leaned down and lowered his posture, so she still had no real concept of his height.
Looking up at him was her way of expressing courtesy and respect; she was probably trying to face his face. And now, that gaze landed directly on his Adam’s apple—the spot her tongue had swept across not long ago, leaving a lingering coolness and warmth.
That realization instantly made his Adam’s apple burn, and the sensation of her touch seemed to reappear on that patch of skin.
Su Heng then understood that even her gaze on him was something he needed to desensitize to.
He forced himself to look her straight in the eyes.
There was a blankness tinged with confusion, as if she were waiting for him to speak.
In those eyes, there was always only purity.
She was completely unaware of the twin pools of murky desire before her, entirely oblivious to the hidden thoughts he dared not reveal.
It was always like this. She never knew.
He felt fortunate, yet faintly disappointed.
And no matter what, he knew this was wrong, that it shouldn’t be happening.
Su Heng averted his gaze and sighed softly.
“Rut is an instinctive physiological phenomenon. Not resisting the urge to lick you was my problem. I’ll do my best to suppress that impulse. But if you think you can take advantage of that and want me to lick you… elsewhere, I’m sorry, I cannot comply.”
In truth, it wasn’t so much for her to hear, but more like a warning to himself.
Jiang Ying was startled. “What elsewhere?”
“…”
He didn’t know whether she genuinely didn’t understand or was just pretending. But no matter how much shame it brought him, he had to make things clear. “Just… the places that can make you feel good. Nowadays, many people ‘keep’ beastmen to gain physical pleasure. Weren’t you just learning about that kind of thing?”
She didn’t respond, her expression somewhat dazed.
The mechanical hand that Su Heng was clenching tightly began to emit strange noises; what rose in his throat was uncertain whether the metallic taste of blood from nervous dizziness, or the rust of old metal parts.
He steeled his heart, suppressing the tremor in his voice: “Our contract clearly states that the employment relationship between you and me is strictly for the duty of ‘guide dog.’ I have no obligation, nor is it possible for me, to provide any other services.”
But.
Having spoken so harshly, what would she think?
Some part of him couldn’t bear to see her hurt.
Or maybe… after saying all this, she would resolutely terminate the labor contract, just like she’d sent back that bed, and ship him back to the Beastman Occupation Reception Center—and then—replace him with another beastman, to be her—
A sense of suffocation lodged in his throat.
That was absolutely not allowed.
He still needed to stay by her side, use her to gain a foothold in the Federation under a non-threatening identity, use her to contact Qu Sheng, use her…
After a long silence, Su Heng spoke with difficulty: “At least for now… no.”
He saw Jiang Ying immediately show shock.
She said nothing for a very long time.
So, she must have understood his intentions now?
Was she thinking about how to tell him she was canceling the contract? Would she do it as simply, decisively, indignantly, and without any nostalgia as when she decided to replace that bed?
That might be for the best.
Then he wouldn’t have to think about any desensitization.
Su Heng looked down at her, awaiting his execution. But he found that her face didn’t bear the expression he had anticipated. She only kept that same dazed look from before, and slowly produced a syllable: “Huh?”
At that very moment, the doorbell rang.
“Ah, it’s the building entrance intercom!”
Jiang Ying jumped at the sudden sound, and her attention was instantly diverted. “The replacement bed should be here.”
She turned to grab her phone from the sink and had the AI voice assistant open the intercom app.
Su Heng looked at the screen and found a familiar face in the surveillance feed.
“Miss Jiang, I’ve brought your bed!”
It was Qu Sheng.
Through the connected intercom call, the other party immediately spotted him standing behind Jiang Ying.
Qu Sheng winked at him, his expression somewhat suggestive and gossipy.
He didn’t say a word, but Su Heng seemed to read the words from his expression: Lord Commander, did you two have such a wild time before?