Chapter 71
*Maybe I Should Just Become Human*
The young master froze at my sudden outburst, then laughed, as if dumbfounded.
“What’s gotten into you? That’s impossible!”
He struggled to free himself from my grasp. I dragged him towards the old man, chair and all. He finally gave up and let himself be dragged.
“It might be possible with the elixir.”
I shrugged, still clinging to him.
Defeated, he adjusted his hold on me and lifted me into his arms. Worried that he might throw me down, I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our faces were now very close. I could feel his breath on my skin.
I could pretend to breathe, but I didn’t. If our breaths mingled, I might just kiss him. He was innocent, so I had to restrain myself.
“I want to become human. In this form.”
I was serious. I felt uneasy at the thought of him trying to revive Anna. What would happen to me then? Would Anna’s body turn into a zombie? Would he have to attack me?
Perhaps I, as the doll Estella, would have to defeat the zombified Anna. That was a horrifying thought as well. Who would want to destroy a body they had once cherished?
I wanted to become human.
This time, I truly meant it. It wasn’t a joke or a fleeting thought. He wouldn’t give up on his foolish plan unless I became human.
His reaction, of course, was predictable.
“What are you talking about? Estella, I’m sorry, but that’s impossible.”
He tried to soothe me, but I wasn’t backing down.
“I told you, it might be possible with the elixir.”
“I can’t use the elixir for something so absurd.”
“Then what are you going to use it for? Something grand?”
“I…”
He hesitated. It was obvious. He was planning something ridiculous.
“Young Master, you’re thinking about something strange, aren’t you?”
“Me? What would I be thinking about?”
“Reviving the dead!”
As if struck by my words, he flinched and put me down. I took a step closer and looked up at him, trying to appear intimidating. I wasn’t sure if he found me intimidating, but I was trying my best to look fierce.
“You can’t revive Anna!”
“What are you talking about?”
He frowned and pushed me back.
“That’s my decision!”
“Reviving Anna will only lead to disaster!”
“Disaster? What could be worse than this? My life without Anna has been a disaster. What could be worse?”
He sounded indignant, but to me, it was just whining. I had also experienced many misfortunes. My mother abandoned me at birth, I was treated like dirt as a lowly servant in a circus, and then I was sold to the Countess.
I was happy after coming to the earldom and meeting the young master. But it wasn’t all happiness. The ending proved that.
I, as Anna, had died from an illness. An illness that turned people into zombies! I didn’t know the exact name of the disease, but judging by the symptoms, there was no doubt.
And now he was planning to revive me, the dead Anna, with the elixir? Then what was I now?!
“You can’t play God with people’s lives!”
“There’s no such rule!”
“Why are you acting like a child! It’s time to move on! Just like graduating from the academy, it’s time to graduate from Anna…”
I couldn’t finish my sentence. Because I didn’t believe my own words. Yes, I loved him. I loved him, who loved Anna!
So I liked that he couldn’t move on from Anna!
But it wasn’t right. It could harm others. Reviving the dead was a taboo because it required the sacrifice of many lives.
I suppressed my feelings and said,
“You have to move on from Anna!”
“How can you say that?!”
He shouted, his voice filled with anguish. He looked as confused as I felt.
“Do you even know how much I’ve suffered? I would do anything to bring Anna back. It would be good for you too. You can finally escape Anna’s shadow. What do you think? You can be Estella, without having to claim you’re Anna!”
“I’ve never… well, I’ve done it many times, but it’s true that I’m Anna! You’re trying to do something that Anna wouldn’t want!”
“How can I believe that?!”
He shouted, almost sobbing.
“I’ve endured all this time for this moment. Estella. This is an order. Don’t interfere.”
He walked towards the old man, grabbed him by the collar, and lifted him, chair and all, into the air. The old man dangled his legs, avoiding the young master’s gaze.
“Tell me. Where is the elixir? Does it really work?”
“It works, it works! But you can’t revive the dead! They’ll just become zombies. Every experiment yielded the same result!”
“That doesn’t matter.”
He looked at me, his face angry, but his eyes filled with sorrow.
With a complicated expression, he said,
“Anna isn’t dead yet.”
“What…?”
I was speechless. Anna was alive…? Then who was I? Was I actually just Estella, the doll, not Anna?
I finally understood why he hadn’t believed me. Because Anna was actually alive. He didn’t believe that her soul had inhabited me.
Wait, now I didn’t even believe myself!
“Young Master! Why are you telling me this now?”
“I’m sorry, Estella. I can’t wait any longer.”
The old man was still coughing. I approached him and untied him. He grabbed the young master’s wrist and struggled to free himself.
“I’ll tell you! I’ll tell you everything, just let go of me!”
The young master released him. He fell back onto the chair, his lips twitching.
“You brat. If you’re really Lupin Zepetto, I’ll tell Lehman and have him teach you a lesson.”
“My father is dead. I haven’t seen him since my mother died. He abandoned us.”
“…”
The old man cleared his throat and lifted his chin.
“Anyway! Since you’re so insistent, I’ll tell you. I’m Doranko, entrusted by the Witches’ Coven to manage the phoenix. I’m a proper mage, even if I’m affiliated with the Coven. But I’m not on good terms with the Mage Association. They’re selfish!”
“So the phoenix has an owner?”
“A phoenix can’t have an owner! It’s a free creature. But I remember a witch named Baba Porta being in charge of it once. Lehman Zepetto built his laboratory with her help.”
Miss Baba? Why was she being mentioned here?
“As I suspected…”
The young master nodded, as if understanding something. Was I the only one who was confused?
I looked back and saw the phoenix perched near the volcanic crater, turning its head from side to side. Phoenix, it seemed like you and I were both deaf to human conversations. Just then, the old man said,
“A phoenix understands human language and reacts sensitively to desires. It’s a divine creature.”
So I was the only one who couldn’t understand.
“Where is my father’s laboratory? The elixir? Is there any left?”
Doranko shook his head.
“I told you, Lehman, ouch, stop pinching me, maid! Fine, Lupin. We were robbed. While Lehman was away, thieves broke in. I tried to protect the elixir, but they took all the reagents. If you’re planning to use the elixir, you’ll have to make it from scratch. Those fools didn’t take the formula.”
He tapped his head with his finger.
“The formula for the elixir is right here, in my head.”
“Then let’s make it now. Lead the way.”
“No, no, no, no…”
The old man extended his arms towards the phoenix with a sorrowful expression. The phoenix seemed indifferent, preening its feathers and occasionally breathing fire.
“You need phoenix feathers to make the elixir. And droppings! Droppings are fine if you can’t get feathers.”
“Disgusting.”
“Ugh, unsanitary.”
“Then there’s no other way. We have to capture the phoenix and pluck its feathers.”
The phoenix was the size of a carriage and looked powerful. I had seen it lift a thick tree trunk with its talons earlier. How could we capture such a powerful creature?
“Can’t we just pick up fallen feathers?”
“No. Phoenix feathers don’t just fall off like pigeon feathers. They don’t even molt! They constantly renew themselves with fire. Only a phoenix can pluck its own feathers, and they use them to build their nests. So they’ll be nice and warm.”
“What should we do…”
Forgetting about stopping the young master, I joined in their brainstorming. Well, there was no reason to stop him from making the elixir.
If I could steal the elixir and become human, problem solved!
Oblivious to my scheming, the young master, leaning against a wall, stared at the phoenix, seemingly devising a plan to capture it. He was silent for a moment, then looked at me and sighed.
“Estella, help me.”
“Yes! I mean, no! I mean… I really don’t want to, but I’ll help you.”
“I have a good idea. But I’m not telling you.”
“Hey?”