Episode 120
I organized my thoughts as I walked beside him. I had to explain the situation carefully so he wouldn’t misunderstand or get upset.
I took deep breaths, stealing glances at his expression.
Fortunately, there was still a hint of a smile on Cesar’s face.
‘It would have been difficult to bring this up if he was in a bad mood. I’m glad he’s at least smiling a little.’
I knew his good mood wouldn’t last, but I tried not to imagine the worst-case scenario to bolster my courage.
Before getting to the main topic, I casually brought up something else.
“By the way, has Sylvia been busy lately?”
“Sylvia? She must be too busy to even think about meeting you. Are you feeling left out?”
Did he think I was a child who sulked when a friend was too busy to see me? I always felt like Cesar underestimated me.
“Of course not. Everyone knows Sylvia will become Empress once His Highness ascends the throne. I was just curious.”
I also felt a little guilty for not being able to keep my promise to Sylvia during the hunting competition, telling her I would wait for her.
‘She’ll probably send a letter or a carrier pigeon or something when things are settled, so I can just wait…’
It felt strange. That a sequel to Sylvia’s happy ending as Empress was unfolding before my eyes.
“So you’ve asked about her. There must be something else more important you want to ask.”
He stopped walking and looked at me, his gaze sharp.
His intense gaze, like he was interrogating me, made me nervous.
“What should I ask?”
“You’ve been acting strangely lately. You kept glancing at me, and whenever you were about to say something, you would stop and turn away.”
I groaned inwardly. My efforts to hide my feelings had been in vain.
It seemed like my worries had been leaking out.
“…It’s nothing important.”
“If it were nothing important, you wouldn’t be looking so anxious, Lily.”
“But it’s something you won’t like, Cesar.”
“The way you’re trying to scare me, it seems like you’ve caused more trouble behind my back.”
“It’s not trouble.”
“Then what is it?”
He stopped walking and stood before me, bending down and tilting his head. His breath tickled my skin, making my nonexistent hairs stand on end.
“What did you do wrong that you’re so hesitant to tell me?”
“Well…”
As I hesitated, my lips parting and closing, he gently placed a hand on my shoulder, as if to ease my tension.
And then he whispered words so enchanting that I couldn’t help but confess,
“I’ll forgive you, no matter what you’ve done. So don’t be scared. I’ll always be kind to you.”
I knew I would be in big trouble if I was swayed by his words, but I also knew this might be my only chance to tell him.
So I spoke, carefully explaining why I had to go to the Holy Kingdom, omitting the fact that I had possessed this body and other secrets he shouldn’t know, so he wouldn’t misunderstand.
“So I’m planning to return to the Holy Kingdom with the Spirit Summoner’s help.”
After those words, I watched Cesar’s expression, which had been calm as he listened. I desperately hoped he wouldn’t just disappear without a word like he used to.
He suddenly lifted me into his arms. Startled, I called out to him,
“W-what are you doing?”
“I understand the reason. And why you have to go back. But…”
The word “but,” following his seemingly understanding words, bothered me.
“Honestly, I don’t care about the Holy Kingdom or anything else; I just want to keep you in my arms, marry you right now, and bind you to my side. It’s not like I haven’t thought of other options.”
His words might have seemed excessive, but I knew his personality. And I also knew he was expressing himself as gently as he could.
‘The problem is, his “gentle” isn’t the same as normal people’s “gentle.”’
“But I have to go back.”
I also had to fulfill the other bird’s request. I couldn’t let those who had sinned go unpunished, believing their actions were justified.
‘The victims always suffer, and the perpetrators live comfortably.’
That was too unfair.
As I frowned, his fingers gently smoothed my brow and caressed my cheek.
I had thought he would be furious. But his touch was as gentle as a feather, as warm as the sun.
“It’s cruel of you to ask for my permission when you’ve already made up your mind, Lily.”
“…I’m sorry.”
Cesar’s voice was laced with a hint of sadness.
He was right. It was something I couldn’t avoid, and I had carefully chosen the timing and my words to make him understand.
But despite my efforts, he was still hurt and offended.
“I’m sorry for not being more considerate of your feelings, for hurting you.”
I always tried to do the right thing, but things never went my way. I tried not to upset him, but I always ended up hurting him.
“So I promise I’ll be back soon. The people I cherish are here, waiting for me, and… the man I love will be here to welcome me back.”
The man who had captured my heart, who called this place my home, was here.
“You’re good with words.”
His voice, close to my ear, was laced with a playful rebuke. But contrary to his words, his arms held me tightly.
My face was buried against his chest. I tried to lift my head, my vision obscured, but a cold voice stopped me.
“Don’t look up. You want my permission, don’t you?”
I felt like he wouldn’t give it to me if I looked up, so I obediently followed his instructions. I heard his footsteps as he carried me somewhere.
‘Where are we going? He’s not going to lock me up in my room and not let me leave, is he?’
A fleeting moment of anxiety passed, and I dismissed it. Cesar wouldn’t do anything I disliked.
He wouldn’t tolerate me leaving his side forever… but he would believe my promise to return.
Cesar stopped walking and gently put me down. I heard a creaking sound, and my vision brightened.
I was sitting on a swing.
Ah. This was the annex garden, where I had first done something for him. A place I frequented, both as a bird and as a human.
“Is there a reason you brought me here? The beautiful leaves have already fallen, and winter, with its white snow, is approaching.”
“This place is special to me. Even though it looks desolate now, when spring comes, it will transform, just like you, beautifully.”
I lowered my head, shy at his words calling me beautiful.
I naturally recalled the atmosphere of that day. The day I was wary and distrustful of him, yet my heart was moved by his story.
I had realized he wasn’t just a man consumed by madness and obsession, as I had thought, but a lonely and desolate person.
And I couldn’t ignore him anymore. He had become important to me. Cesar smiled and thanked me for what I had done for him, out of my own volition. Perhaps that was the moment my feelings first reached him.
I could still clearly remember his smile at that time. The fleeting memory made me suddenly want to see his expression now.
I wished he was smiling like that again.
And as I looked up, I gasped.
“Ah.”
It was a breathtakingly beautiful sight, almost dreamlike.
Flower petals danced in the wind, just like that spring day, and blooming flowers filled my vision.
He must have used magic.
‘What beautiful magic. This isn’t like Cesar.’
I was about to thank him, amused by the thought, when his next action made me speechless.
“Lily.”
His seductive voice, calling my name, was as sweet as honey. As I blinked, he knelt before me and took my hand.
“Be my one and only companion.”
This was completely unexpected. My tongue was tied, and I stammered,
“W-wait! I thought you were angry, and this sudden confession…!”
But he continued, as if not giving me time to process,
“Then I’ll say it differently. Allow me to be known as your beloved, Lily, to everyone in the world.”
His eyes, meeting mine, held pure, unadulterated sincerity. And a deep, immeasurable love.
Realizing that, my whole body flushed, as if I had just eaten a handful of candies. I felt like an apple soaked in sugar water.
But I couldn’t savor the feeling for long. I had to snap back to reality as my impulsive lover kissed the back of my hand and then, meeting my gaze, gently nibbled on my fingertips.
It was a demand for an answer, a way of marking me as his.