3. Meeting in the Flower Garden (1)
A short while after my tenth birthday, a grand tea party was to be held at the royal palace, gathering all the noble children of the kingdom between the ages of ten and thirteen.
For the occasion, Okaasama gave me the strangest makeover. I was already unattractive, but instead of the light makeup that might have enhanced my features, she painted freckles across my nose and made my eyebrows look thicker. The lipstick she used was a strange, brownish color. I’ve always known I’m not attractive, but this wasn’t just unattractive—it was downright frumpy.
Even the maids tried to intervene, but Okaasama would not yield on the matter of my makeup. Even if I wasn’t pretty, I had at least wanted to try makeup that would make me feel pretty.
My hair, at least, was beautifully styled, and my dress was absolutely lovely—an ice-blue gown that matched my eyes.
“Listen carefully, Sheryl. You are not yet an adult. And this is the first time you will be meeting children your own age. When that happens, which would you rather make: friends who are girls, or friends who are boys?”
“Hmm… I think I’d like to make friends with girls.”
“I agree. It’s always better to have many female friends. Now, first things first: if anyone gives you a funny look, you are to explain to them clearly that your stepmother did this to you. If you do that, you’ll make friends with the other girls quite easily. Whether you can remain friends after that is up to you, but you have a good heart and a kind nature. You have manners and you are considerate. I am certain you will find good friends.”
“Really? Even if I’m not attractive, do you think I can make friends?”
“Of course. You are a good girl. Here, let me tell you a little trick for telling them apart. When you tell them your stepmother did this, cherish the girls who get angry on your behalf. They are the ones who will truly care about you. Conversely, you must not speak too deeply with those who only offer you sympathy. They are the ones who will eventually look down on you… I love you, Sheryl. I truly wanted to make you look as pretty as possible, but please, forgive me for sending you out into public like this.”
“Of course, Okaasama. You made me look frumpy so that I could find friends who would judge my character, not my appearance. It’s alright. I’m unattractive to begin with, so I’ll be happy if I can find true friends this way.”
“You are such a clever girl. A truly clever girl knows how to be kind to others. Always consider the feelings of the person in front of you. Now, it is almost time to leave. Go and enjoy yourself.”
“Yes, Okaasama.”
After our exchange, the maids had no choice but to hold their tongues.
No matter how I thought about it, what Okaasama said was correct.
If I, being unattractive to begin with, had been dressed up just a little, I might have been mocked and unable to make any friends at all.
But if I looked this frumpy, then surely everyone, regardless of my natural appearance, would wonder what on earth had happened. And just as Okaasama said, the ones who got angry at her for making me look this way would be the ones who were thinking of me. On the other hand, those who merely pitied me would be the type to pity and look down on me even if they saw my real face.
I would be so happy if I could make friends with some of the girls. Maybe some of them would even compliment my dress.
And for those who get angry for my sake, I’ll be sure to explain to them that my mother truly treasures me.
I’ll tell them how kind and wonderful Okaasama is. How deeply she loves me.
…Perhaps it wasn’t right to test people like this, but I had learned the basics of high society etiquette.
I was taught that unless your station was exceptionally high, you could be easily mocked for your looks or your family’s standing, making it impossible to fit in. I wanted to believe that there wouldn’t be children my age who were already so cynical, but…
I hated the thought of Okaasama being spoken of poorly, even for a moment, but she was doing this for my sake. In that case, I would trust her words.
…Come to think of it, I had never heard Okaasama speak of her own female friends. I suppose they must correspond by letter.
What is not spoken of is not to be asked about. This was one of the very first rules of etiquette I ever learned.
So, I would never ask, “Okaasama, do you have any friends?” I was sure that someone as kind as her must have them.
After all, I couldn’t let my heart become frumpy, too.