Chapter 78
◎My Shoulder is Here for You to Lean On◎
The Capital University campus in April seemed to be bathed in a honey-colored warm light. The paulownia trees on the tree-lined avenue were shedding purple flowers.
Tangtang was wearing a green skirt with a cream-colored hand-knitted sweater, a blue and white plaid cloth bag slung over her shoulder. Her hair was not tied up, just casually draped over her shoulders.
She took out thirty cents from her pocket and had the salesclerk at the non-staple food store get her two bottles of chilled soda.
Tangtang handed one of the bottles to Zhou Shunian, who was sitting on a stone bench. “Here, for you.”
“Thank you.” Zhou Shunian took the soda from her.
Tangtang opened the soda bottle and took a sip of the cool and refreshing soda. “Brother Shunian, your relatives are really nice. Hickory nuts are not cheap. It must have taken a lot of effort to get so many.”
Perhaps because it was about to rain, the air was a bit hot and stuffy. This sip of cool soda was refreshing from head to toe.
“They’re not relatives. My dad brought them from Yuanlin County.”
Tangtang was a little surprised.
“Tangtang, tell me… should I hate him?” Zhou Shunian stared at the dim streetlight in front of him, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, his expression dazed, struggling, and pained.
Tangtang swallowed the soda in her mouth. After hesitating for a long while, she finally sighed and said, “Brother Shunian, has my big brother ever mentioned to you… that I’m actually not the Su family’s biological daughter? In terms of blood relations, Su Huimin is actually just my uncle, and Yu Juanfang is my aunt.”
“Mhm.”
“From the time I can remember, my biological mother, Su Yandi, has disliked me very much. No matter how I tried to please her, I couldn’t get a single glance from her. When I was six, she wanted to sell me to a fool in the neighboring village for a hundred yuan. In the third grade of primary school, at that time I had already become my parents’ daughter, Old Madam Wang broke her leg. Su Yandi really didn’t want to take care of Old Madam Wang, so she thought of me and wanted me to go back and take care of her. After being refused, she spread rumors in front of the whole village that I was a reincarnated jinx, and that whoever was good to me would bring them bad luck, which scared the neighbors so much that they didn’t dare to get close to me.”
“In January of this year, after my college entrance examination admission results came out, she ran to the Su family and made a big scene, wanting me to go back to the Wang family with her, so that in the future, I could save money to build a house for their family and get wives for the three sons of the Wang family… I really don’t know why she hates me so much.”
Zhou Shunian’s expression was astonished. In the year of Tangtang’s primary school entrance exam, he could feel her fear of the Wang family, but he hadn’t expected Tangtang to have had such a pitiful childhood.
Tangtang’s eyelashes cast a fan-shaped shadow on her eyelids. She looked up at Zhou Shunian with a gentle expression. “But Brother Shunian, do you believe me when I say I don’t hate them? Maybe I hated them when I was little… but after I grew up, I rarely had any feelings of hatred for that family. My mom also told me not to hate, because resentment is inherently negative and painful.”
When Tangtang talked about the past, her tone was very calm, and her eyes were only filled with pity for Zhou Shunian.
She took the initiative to hold his well-defined hand and looked at him seriously. “Brother Shunian, don’t hate.”
“My mom said that hate is like walking with a hot coal in your hand. The only one who gets burned is yourself.”
Although Tangtang felt that Zhou Tingchang’s act of remarrying was selfish, shameless, and heartless, she didn’t want Zhou Shunian to be trapped in his resentment towards his biological father.
Tangtang thought that if Auntie Wang were still alive, she would not have wanted to see Brother Shunian hate his own father.
“If Auntie Wang were still alive, she would definitely want you to let go and reconcile, not to be filled with resentment and pain.”
Zhou Shunian swallowed his bitter throat. His gaze fell on their overlapping hands. Tangtang’s palm had the coolness of the soda, and his clenched palm was full of sweat.
Sticky and wet, a hint of ambiguity flowed in the air.
The lights from the teaching building in the distance shone through the leaves, casting mottled shadows on the little girl’s face. The surface of the lake under the moonlight rippled gently.
After a long while, he finally moved his lips. “Tangtang, you are more magnanimous than me.”
“Perhaps.” Tangtang took out a hickory nut from the pile of mountain goods. The shell of the fresh hickory nut was thin and not difficult to peel. In a short while, the plump hickory nut meat was peeled out.
“Uncle Zhou brought these all the way from Yuanlin County. Have a taste. I heard that these fresh hickory nuts are particularly fragrant and crispy.” Seeing that he was unmoved, Tangtang insisted on stuffing the hickory nut meat into his mouth. “Hurry up and try it.”
“How is it? Isn’t it delicious?” Tangtang blinked at him.
Zhou Shunian chewed the hickory nut meat in his mouth and swallowed it. “It’s average. I don’t like to eat hickory nuts.”
“Oh my, hickory nuts are good for the brain.”
“Then you should eat more to supplement.” Zhou Shunian stuffed the peeled hickory nut into her hand.
Tangtang’s eyes widened. “Why should I eat more? What do you mean?”
“I didn’t mean that.”
She puffed out her cheeks. “I don’t believe you.”
“I really didn’t.”
“Drip, drip,” the rain dripped on the leaves, and ripples spread on the surface of the lake. A smile appeared on Tangtang’s face. “Zhou Shunian, if you need it, Su Xintang’s shoulder is always here for you.”
Zhou Shunian’s dark eyes fell on her. He wanted to ask what “always” meant, but after a few seconds, he still didn’t ask.
“Thank you, Tangtang, but I don’t think I’ll need it.” Zhou Shunian looked up at the sparse raindrops above, and a sense of relief rose in his heart.
…
Before October of last year, no one had expected that an urgent telegram would tear open the dust-covered examination hall of ten years at the end of October. The sudden restart of the college entrance examination, like a suddenly beaten war drum, disrupted the rhythm of the entire country’s education system—various provinces hastily formulated enrollment plans, formed question-setting groups from the outstanding teachers of various provinces, communes searched through the files of educated youth overnight, printing factories worked overtime to print examination papers, and even the post offices in remote county towns were crowded with candidates mailing their application materials.
The Ministry of Education of Capital University had to both verify the qualifications of the backlog of candidates from the past ten years, coordinate the repair of the damaged classrooms and dormitories, and allocate the scattered teaching staff. To ensure fairness, some areas could only use manual grading, and the admission process was several times slower than usual. It was not until February 1978 that the last batch of admission letters was sent to the candidates.
In mid-April, it had been more than two months since the school year began. This batch of newly admitted students had all arrived one after another. Capital University finally had the time to prepare for the opening ceremony.
This opening ceremony, which seemed to be two months late, was actually ten years and two months late. This was also a microcosm of the difficult reconstruction of the country’s education on the ruins.
This was not only an opening ceremony for new students, but also a declaration to the whole world that the country’s talent cultivation mechanism had finally returned to the right track.
The background board of the auditorium was a large slogan written in yellow characters on a red background: “Warmly celebrate the enrollment of the class of 1977—Strive for the realization of the four modernizations.” This was the first time Tangtang and the others had been to this large auditorium since the school year began. The auditorium was a large, tiered hall, said to be able to accommodate up to five thousand people. It was said that foreign leaders had even given speeches here before. Thinking that they could sit in such a sacred place, Tangtang and the others felt a little excited.
“It’s been almost two months since we started school. Why are they only holding the opening ceremony now?” Pan Yanmei muttered.
Tangtang cleared her throat. “This opening ceremony is of great significance. It must be prepared with great ceremony. It’s just a little late.”
“At least most of the people are here. I heard that some departments still had new students from remote areas reporting yesterday.”
“Shh, it’s about to start. Everyone be quiet.”
So they stopped talking and sat up straight, waiting for the opening ceremony to begin.
The process of the opening ceremony was mainly three speeches, one criticism, and one oath. After everyone stood up and played “The East is Red,” the principal first went on stage. He was an elderly man in a black tunic suit with a kind face. He adjusted his glasses, and his voice was loud and clear. “Classmates, your arrival has injected fresh blood into Capital University. In the life-changing exam last winter, you rushed to the exam from the factory workshops and the fields. With your calloused hands and mud-stained pens, you tore open the haze that had covered education. On this day in 1978, you have finally stepped into the campus. Remember, from today on, you are not only students, but also the vanguard of rebuilding the education system. When the spring of science comes, you will surely become the people who sow the seeds of fire, using knowledge to illuminate our country’s journey towards the four modernizations!”
The principal’s speech was passionate and inspiring, making people’s blood boil. After the speech, the entire auditorium erupted in a sensational round of applause, which lasted for a long time.
Tangtang and the others all felt their blood boil. A few of the older students in the front row, in their thirties and wearing faded blue work clothes, couldn’t help but cry.
“Sister Cuixia, what’s wrong?” Tangtang asked, seeing Liang Cuixia suddenly bury her head.
“Nothing…” Liang Cuixia wiped away her tears. “I’m just too happy.”
She was already thirty-two this year. After graduating in ’68, she had gone to Heilongjiang to work as an educated youth. She had originally felt that the best ten years of her life had been wasted. But now, listening to the words echoing in the auditorium, she felt that what was thirty-two years old? It was only a third of her life.
The long, severe winter was over, and a brand new spring was coming.
After the principal’s generous speech, the new student representative went on stage to express their thoughts.
The person who went on stage was a very well-dressed and beautiful young girl, in a vibrant and pretty red dress, giving a speech on the stage with great composure.
“That must be Lu Youxin,” Dong Shuqing suddenly said.
Chen Xiaohui’s eyes widened. She had been immersed in her own world recently and had not paid any attention to the outside world. “Who? Who is Lu Youxin?”
“You don’t even know Lu Youxin? She’s the talented girl from the management department.”
Li Ping happened to be in the same department as Lu Youxin. Seeing that they didn’t know, she simply shared the gossip she had gathered with them. “This Lu Youxin is a famous talented girl. She can play the piano and ballet, has studied abroad in many countries, and can speak Russian, English, and French. Her family’s conditions are particularly good. It’s said that she’s also the descendant of a meritorious official.”
The others were dumbfounded. “My goodness, that’s too amazing.”
Li Ping lowered her voice. “Look at the way she’s giving her speech on stage. You can tell at a glance that she’s seen the world.”
The girl next to her pushed up her black-framed glasses, her eyes full of admiration. If it were her up there, her legs would probably be trembling. Let alone speaking so calmly and generously.
“I’m so envious,” Li Ping suddenly said.
Originally, Li Ping had felt that she was already outstanding enough. She had gotten into Capital University, and she was famous in her hometown, bringing honor to her ancestors. But now, seeing others giving a speech on stage with such confidence and composure, and then looking at herself, she finally knew what it meant to be compared to others.
Chen Xiaohui lowered her eyes, quite agreeing with these words in her heart.