Chapter 25:
-BAM!
“Emergency!”
My long-awaited deep sleep was shattered in an instant. It was, of course, the Demon King, who had grabbed me by the scruff of my neck.
“Wh-What… what is it…”
‘If you were my subordinate, you’d be dead.’
The Demon King’s wake-up call was anything but gentle. It was a stark contrast to Private Park in the army, who would gently brush the whiskers of a sleeping lion to wake it up.
“It’s a big problem… a huge problem.”
The Demon King was pale and frantic.
‘… It’s probably nothing serious. I’ve spent enough time with you to know better.’
It was probably something trivial, like losing the mayonnaise lid or the paper crane refusing to eat.
I burrowed deeper under the covers, but she snatched them away. The chill that had been lurking in the corners of the room instantly enveloped me.
“Ugh… Brrr.”
Damn it! The heartless Demon King! There are things you do to a person, and things you don’t! May you suffer from arthritis and toothaches in your old age!
“I said it’s a big problem! It’s important, even for you, who swore to live here forever with me.”
‘Don’t casually slip in that bullshit promise I never made.’
“What is it… Did you lose the mayonnaise lid again?”
“It’s as serious as that!”
‘So it’s nothing.’
“There’s a cockroach!”
-Jump!
I bolted upright.
“Holy shit! That is a huge problem!”
Those who have experienced the horror of cockroaches understand.
The slippery, smooth, fast, cunning, pitch-black monster sharing the same oxygen as you. The knowledge that if I held my breath for even a moment, those nimble legs would be scurrying all over the room.
‘And above all…’
The possibility that it wasn’t alone.
“… I can’t let this stand.”
Another magic circle unfolded at the Demon King’s feet. Orange, purple, black – a kaleidoscope of patterns enveloped her.
“Oh, do you have a spell to track and exterminate cockroaches?”
“No, I’m going to cast a bug repellent buff on myself. Nothing can get within 10 meters of me.”
“Can you cast it on me too?”
“It’s a single-target spell.”
… Selfish bitch! … Selfish bitch!
All that talk of being allies, and now she abandons me in the face of a cockroach.
A memory of Hyung-seop from my elementary school days surfaced.
-Dongha, give me a bite of that.
-No way. Who asks for a bite of a popsicle?
-Fine, if I can’t have it, I’ll just break it.
-Snap!
-Thud!
-Damn it! It fell! May you only drink plain milk for the rest of your life!
‘Hmph… Little brat.’
I had no choice but to adopt Hyung-seop’s strategy. Drag the Demon King into this hell with me.
“Cockroaches like women’s rooms.”
“… I don’t care. I have the buff…”
“But you’re not in your room 24/7 with that buff. While you’re gone, the cockroach will probably be crawling all over your room. And it’ll lay eggs in the corners, on the walls, under your bed.”
“… E-Eggs??”
“Yes. Once a cockroach starts laying eggs…”
“… Starts laying eggs?”
I put on a pained expression and bit my lip dramatically.
“Hundreds, no, thousands of babies will be hiding all over your room. And they’ll be watching you, waiting for you to leave. With their shiny, black eyes.”
“Eek!”
My own description sent shivers down my spine, and she hugged her arms, goosebumps erupting on her pale skin.
“… Th-This is bad. What should we do?”
“Let’s go to the initial sighting location.”
“Okay…”
“Here?”
The Demon King pointed at the kitchen sink. Even though she cleaned regularly, cockroaches seemed to be an inevitable part of life.
‘Persistent bastards…’
They were determined to reach even a floating island above the clouds.
“It made eye contact with me… and then hid behind that box.”
“Okay. But why are you pushing me?”
The Demon King kept pushing me towards the box with a nonchalant expression.
“It’s time for you to earn your keep. This is an order from your landlord. Catch it.”
“… What if I can’t?”
“Then I’ll be too scared to enter the kitchen ever again. And since you can’t leave this place, you’ll starve to death. You’ll probably have to find cockroaches to eat.”
…
She was a demon. Stealing blankets from sleeping people, threatening them with starvation. A pure, unadulterated demon. I repented not killing her the other day.
Was she going to use me like a disposable foster child, reaping the benefits and then discarding me?
And she was the one who imprisoned me in the first place.
“Come on, hurry up!”
I looked at the back of the box. Were countless cockroaches waiting there, their legs twitching in anticipation?
…
‘… I can’t do this.’
I suffered from an undiagnosed medical condition that caused me to faint at the mere sight of a cockroach. I would rather kick the Demon King’s ass than face those creatures.
… There was no other way.
‘Will this work?’
I had recently confirmed that she had a heart. Whether it was a half-assed human heart or something else, it was worth a shot.
“… Sob…”
“… Huh?”
I crouched down, burying my face between my knees.
“… Hic… Sob… Sob…”
“Oh my, what’s wrong?!”
The Demon King panicked, looking at me like a dog that had swallowed a chicken bone.
“… Sniff… It’s nothing. Go away. Leave me alone.”
“Why, what’s wrong? Huh? Huh?”
“It’s okay… I’ll be fine after a while… Sob…”
“What’s wrong? Huh? What is it? Huh? Huh?”
The Demon King whined like a puppy needing to go potty, circling around me. It worked. This naive fool.
“… Wh-What is it? Is it because I asked you to catch the cockroach?”
‘Game over.’
“… Hic… Actually…”
I spun a believable lie. I told her I had a brother who died protecting me from a monstrous cockroach when we were young. That’s why I had a severe cockroach phobia. Something like that.
“… Oh my. I had no idea.”
She covered her mouth with her hand and patted my back sympathetically.
“Sob… It’s okay. I’ll… I’ll take care of the cockroach… Cough! Ugh!”
I shuddered, gagging, and she stopped me from collapsing on the floor.
“What are you talking about! I’ll handle this. You go rest.”
“… Can I ask you that?”
“O-Of course.”
Yes! You’re the exterminator now.
She hesitantly grabbed the wooden box and started pulling it.
‘Ugh.’
I couldn’t bear to look. I stood far away, fearing a sudden cockroach ambush.
“Woo… Yah!”
The Demon King, who could probably use a Brachiosaurus neck as a jump rope, lifted the box with ease.
…
I turned my head back.
‘… What? There’s nothing there?’
Our eyes met, wide with surprise. Relief and the fear of the missing cockroach battled within them.
“… It’s gone.”
“Yeah.”
“… Hey.”
The Demon King beckoned me.
“Since you’re already here, clean this place up. It’s been a while.”
… That much I could do.
“… Okay. But what about the cockroach?”
“It must be hiding somewhere… We’ll have to check every nook and cranny. We can’t let it live here.”
I agreed. Leaving a spotted cockroach unattended was like living with a fishbone stuck in your throat.
“… Let’s clean this up and then check other places.”
Huh?
“Ugh.”
This was the seventh piece of furniture the Demon King had lifted, and there was still no cockroach.
“Where could it have gone?”
The Demon King pondered.
For me, the silent mental battle with her had overshadowed the cockroach issue.
‘… Could it be… No, wait. It is. Because…’
“Let’s clean this up and then check that one next.”
The pieces of my deduction were falling into place. Having observed her more than anyone else, I could tell.
She was enjoying this.
It was strange when I thought about it.
You, who could dodge Yuria’s arrows, missed a cockroach? You, who could catch a fly mid-air with Chain Lightning?
‘…’
That’s right. The cockroach never existed in the first place.
‘The reason she woke me up. The reason she acted so panicked.’
To make me clean up after she lifted furniture.
‘I’ve been played.’
She had anticipated my clever escape from the cockroach-catching role.
This gave her a justification for assigning me a menial task like cleaning, a small favor in exchange for her dealing with the non-existent cockroach.
‘Just how far ahead did she plan this?’
The Demon King lifted another piece of furniture and said,
“It’s not here either.”
Her innocent expression, feigning ignorance, hid a serpent’s tongue behind it. Knowing I had been dancing in the palm of her hand from the start made the cockroach seem less scary.
“Clean this spot too.”
“… Okay.”
She was definitely not stupid. She was a strategist.
Sure, she was overwhelmingly powerful, but brute force alone wouldn’t have been enough to reach the top of the demon hierarchy. I had underestimated the ruler of an entire species.
“Let’s eat after we’re done here.”
… The audacity. And she was the one who said she couldn’t enter the kitchen because of the cockroach…
“What about the cockroach?”
“Hmm, who knows… Maybe it flew away. We’ll catch it if we see it. Hehehe. Hehe!”
She laughed mischievously. It was the clear smile of a victor. What a cunning woman.
“I’m full. I’m going to bed.”
After another day of being subjected to her games, I was finally granted permission to retire to my room.
-Thud, thud
-Creak
I returned to my room and threw myself onto the bed.
‘I’m so tired today, I’ll fall asleep right aw…’
-BAM!
“Oh nooo! It’s terrible!!!”
“… What is it now?”
“The cockroach… There’s a cockroach in my room!”
…
Nice try. And you said it yourself earlier.
“H-Help me…”
“You said…”
“…”
“You said you’d take care of it if it appeared again. You clearly said that.”
I said those words and burrowed under the covers. The Demon King, unable to lie and bound by her own words, was at a loss.
“… B-But I also want to sleep in this room tonight…”
“It’s a single-target buff.”
The shepherdess who reaped what she sowed ended up spending the night outside her own room.
And all night long, she roamed the dark castle, restless like a cockroach.