Chapter 3
A woman’s tears
A mysterious magical expression of emotion where the man who causes them becomes a despicable beast.
But now, it was a death sentence. Nothing more, nothing less.
To be precise, tears hadn’t fallen yet.
However, in my life experience, once tears well up in a woman’s eyes, they inevitably fall. Nine times out of ten.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? I’m not angry.”
… What a blatant lie.
Her rough breathing and slightly trembling lips betrayed her words.
“I’m sorry. Let’s stop. I just did what you told me to, hitting hard…”
Shink-
She interrupted me by drawing her sword.
“Stop what? I told you I’m not angry!”
‘Shit, I knew this would happen.’
There’s always one.
The type who absolutely won’t let it end if the pain received in a hitting bet is asymmetrical. In reality, you’d just take a few hits or tell them to fuck off and walk away.
‘But right now, neither of those options work.’
The initially grinning and excited Demon King was gone, replaced by an intensely agitated one. She puts the pirate doll that had just popped up back into the oak barrel.
“It’s your turn.”
The obviously pissed-off Demon King demands to continue the game quickly.
…
‘I’m going to die.’
I drew a sword from the box and stood in front of the oak barrel. The sharp blade catches my eye.
‘Yes, rather…’
She’s removed all her defense-related buffs right now. Based on the hit I just landed, her defense is only at the level of an ordinary woman.
‘Should I slash her with this sword?’
Isn’t that why I climbed this tower in the first place? Who knows when I’ll get another chance like this. Even if I’m just a porter, isn’t it worth a try?
‘Now… This might be my last chance.’
…
Shhk-
“Why are you hesitating so much?”
She looks at me with dissatisfaction as I hesitate before stabbing the knife into the oak barrel.
‘I can’t win.’
It’s not just about defense. This is the woman who could dodge even Yuria’s swift arrows without blinking an eye. There’s no way a sword swung by me would touch her.
Whoosh-
!!!
She ended the second game in an instant too. The pirate doll that flew into the air fell on top of the startled Demon King’s head.
…
“Let’s just call this one invalid…”
“What?”
The aura started flowing from the Demon King’s feet again.
“Are you going easy on me now? Why? Because I’m too bad at this?”
The Demon King trembled with killing intent.
“No way! Fuck! I’ll hit you! Come on!”
…
The frightened Demon King approached me.
“Come on, hit me. Quickly.”
“… Um, you need to lift your bangs…”
Her expression as she reluctantly lifts her bangs is pitiful. Her words and actions are completely different.
‘She’s telling me to hit her. She’s telling me not to.’
As I extend my hand for the forehead flick, she squeezes her eyes shut. It’s like watching a character in a movie biting down on a belt to endure pain.
‘Okay. Lighter than before…’
“…Hard. H-hit me really hard. G-got it?”
…Sigh
Flick-!
I did as she ordered.
*
‘What kind of demon has possessed this crazy woman?’
It’s actually a funny expression. A demon possessing the Demon King. This woman is just a demon incarnate.
Whoosh-!
“Eek!”
It’s already the ninth time. It’s pitiful to see her hitting loser shots nine times in a row with her amazingly bad luck.
‘If you weren’t the Demon King, I’d just take a few hits for you.’
But in reality, one hit would probably be the end of me.
I asked discreetly in the middle. If I happen to lose, couldn’t she hit me gently?
-What? That’s up to the person hitting.
It didn’t work at all. I thought maybe since she removed her defense buffs…
Now she angrily and nervously lifted her bangs.
From my bombardment, her forehead was so red that you couldn’t see its original milky color.
‘Stop, please… stop!’
I’m in a position where I have to keep blowing up a balloon that might burst at any moment.
I screamed internally, but I can’t not hit her. I mechanically raise my hand for the forehead flick. She seems to have gotten used to it now, taking a deep breath and bracing herself with good timing.
Flick-!
The 10th forehead flick strikes.
“Hic… Sniffle.”
The Demon King, who had been biting her lower lip hard and trembling, suddenly turned around.
… Is she crying?
She turned her back. After rubbing her eyes with her arm, she picks up the pirate doll and puts it back. Her nose has turned red like a strawberry. Yeah, she cried.
‘Should I say it?’
The excuse I’ve been thinking about.
Should I say I can’t do it anymore because my flicking finger hurts?
…
<Oh my, your finger hurts after just a few flicks? You’re weak. I have no more use for you. Goodbye.>
BANG!
No way!
How can I say my finger hurts to the woman who’s been getting hit all this time! It’s like complaining about a clingy girlfriend at the next table to a man drinking alone because of his cheating wife.
Whoosh-
‘Wow! Damn it! Really!’
The Demon King ends it in one shot, not even giving me a chance to stab. I have to prepare for the eleventh forehead flick…
“Damn it!”
Her mental state seems to have crumbled as well, as she kicks the innocent pirate doll.
CRASH BANG!
…
Gulp-
It’s not the sound of a plane crash-landing. It’s the sound of the doll hitting the wall after her soccer kick.
The pirate doll has become a rag with cotton bursting out all over.
‘I’ll probably end up like that soon.’
Though she’s panting, she seems intent on continuing the game as she retrieves the doll she just kicked away.
“Sniffle, come on, hit me.”
Fuck… that “come on, hit me.”
Her forehead is already swollen and red like a volcano about to erupt. How nice it would be if she died from this forehead flick. Should I hit her with all my strength, even the strength I used when I was a baby?
Yes… let’s do that.
If you want to live, you’ll die; if you want to die, you’ll live.
As I was preparing what might be the last forehead flick of my life.
Admiral Yi Sun-sin’s words of wisdom gave me a hint for a decent solution.
‘Yes, if you’re a competitive freak, I’ll use that to my advantage.’
*
“Ah, this is so damn boring, really.”
!!!
Surprisingly, those words came out of my mouth.
“… What?”
She asked sharply, brushing up her bangs as she waited for the bomb to drop.
“It’s so boring, I can’t stand it. What is this? Just me hitting you all the time.”
At those words, her eyes filled with venom.
“…So?”
Gulp-
Don’t chicken out, Baek Dongha. The die has already been cast.
“Let’s just make the next game the last one, with 10 hits. How about it?”
!!!
10 hits. The number of times she’s been hit so far. It’s a proposal that could blow away all her pent-up frustration in one go.
“… Why not just continue? Why make it the last one?”
It’s the question I expected.
“Why? Do you think you’re going to lose already? Are you making excuses to continue before we even start? Maybe you’re…”
The words you should never say to a competitive freak. Let’s say it.
“A coward?”
!!!
“Let’s do it!”
It worked. I’ll survive this! This unavoidable kill angle!
What if I lose? What happens if I lose?
‘Damn, I’ll cross the Jordan River after one hit anyway, what difference does 10 make.’
I didn’t care if she flicked my corpse or made me eat shit.
I drew my sword and said with determination for the first time.
“Let’s go for the final game!”
*
…
Only four slots remain.
The Demon King, who had been hitting every single time for the past 5 turns, has made it this far without getting caught once.
“Phew… Here!”
The Demon King looks around the oak barrel and stabs her sword into a slot she likes.
Shhk-
…
A dud.
Now three left.
I felt like I might wet myself from the extreme fear. To be honest, I did a little.
‘How can… How can this be.’
I draw the knife, crying and eating mustard.
One in three.
Please. Please.
I should be nicer than her. Isn’t that obvious? You’re the evil Demon King. I’ve even been to church. When I was young. Only on Christmas, but still.
Gulp-
The Demon King swallowed dryly too. It would be terrible if the slightly calmed volcano became active again now.
‘Stay calm.’
Deep breath.
I know it’s a game of chance anyway. But if this is the last moment of my life, I can’t just stab lightly.
Whew…
“Now!”
Shhk-
…
After what felt like an eon passed
Looking at the calm oak barrel…
‘I’m alive!’
My legs shook and I collapsed right there. I put my hand on my chest and kissed the floor, grateful to be alive.
“Ah…”
A groan escaped the Demon King’s mouth. She looked like a high school girl who had been rejected from all her college applications.
“It’s your turn.”
“…I know. Don’t rush me.”
She drew her sword and approached the oak barrel.
50-50
If the pirate doll doesn’t pop up, I die. There’s only one slot left, and it must be the one that makes it pop up.
“…mumble mumble.”
The Demon King closes her eyes and mumbles, not stabbing easily.
You’re not…
‘Crazy, are you praying?’
It’s something you’d never expect to see. The Demon King is praying to God for luck because she’s afraid of getting hit with a forehead flick.
‘Come on… have some conscience.’
The Demon King is denying her entire life over just a forehead flick. Whatever pride she had as a demon race has long been thrown to the dogs.
Having finished her prayer, she pulls her arm back and takes a stabbing stance.
Whoosh-
‘Please!!!!!’
Shhk
Whoosh-
The pirate doll pops up on her sword.
“Woohoooo! Yeahhh!! I’m alive!!”
Tap tap tap tap-!
“Wow!”
I hugged the pirate doll that flew into the air tightly. You precious thing! I knew you could do it! This was the most thrilling leap of my life!
‘From today on, your name is Gangplank!’
I celebrated my victory to the fullest, tossing Gangplank in the air. Unlike the forced excitement during chess, I was genuinely overjoyed.
Thud-
“Hic, sob…”
The Demon King collapsed, trembling.
‘Whatever. Losers get off the stage.’
Trying to ruin the mood while I’m celebrating.
I ignored her and rolled around on the floor with Gangplank.
“Tch…”
The trembling Demon King stood up and dusted off her skirt.
“Where are you going?”
I called out to the Demon King, who was hurriedly putting away the knives and heading for the door.
“Come here. We need to settle up.”