Chapter 38
So dizzy.
My head is so dizzy.
It was the kind of dizziness that felt like someone was banging gongs right next to both of her ears, a clanging that made her see stars.
“…Is this a hangover?” Fan An groggily climbed up from her pillow, only to fall back down halfway, dizzy and seeing double.
She felt like she had simultaneously developed astigmatism, double vision, hallucinations, and a migraine.
Bourbon whisky. What a potent drink.
“I don’t have any work scheduled for today anyway. I might as well just sleep all day,” the hungover caterpillar-cat mumbled softly, wrapped in her blankets.
It wouldn’t have been a problem if she hadn’t spoken, but the moment she did, her throat burned as if it had been scorched by fire. It was dry and thirsty.
The path from the bedroom to the kitchen was so far… Why, when everyone was an ability-user, couldn’t she awaken a useful ability like gravity manipulation? Rashomon would also be fine, a heaven-sent artifact for picking up takeout.
Fan An: Hiss, now that I think about it, the abilities of many people in the Port Mafia are very suitable for manual labor. Add in the lemon bomb’s demolitions, has Mori Ougai really not considered going legit and opening a real estate construction company?
With Yokohama’s new building demolition rate, it’s a guaranteed profit.
Expanding into the Beika Town market would be even more lucrative!
The dark-haired girl, wrapped in her blankets, let her mind wander for a while. The dryness in her throat constantly urged her to get up.
Fan An helplessly propped herself up with a pillow. Her gaze swept over the bedside table.
A glass of water was placed quietly on the bedside table, with a box of pills next to it.
“Hangover medicine?” The girl picked up the pills and looked at the instructions. She took a sip of water. “Honey water?”
The sweetness of honey filled her mouth. Even after taking the hangover medicine, it didn’t taste bitter. Fan An held the glass and drank the entire cup of honey water.
Putting the glass down, she tapped her forehead.
“What happened last night…”
While drowning her sorrows at the bar, she had received a call from Director Yuko. She had been informed that she had passed the audition and had successfully landed the lead role.
Because she was so happy, she had celebrated extravagantly, drinking a whole bottle of Bourbon without restraint, from her cheeks burning to her head spinning, and after that…
“Noble Fermented Rice Wine Steamed Bun VS Foreign Chocolate-Crisp Custard Bun, what was that?” Fan An thought hard. “Who won in the end?”
Her memory was fragmented, as if shrouded in a layer of mist. She couldn’t recall the full picture for a moment.
She only remembered that the end of her memory was a warm darkness.
Someone had covered her eyes with their hand, and no matter how she tried to pull it away, it wouldn’t budge. She had stumbled for a short distance, her knees hitting the edge of the bed as she fell onto the soft mattress.
The drunkenness had surged, and the moment her head hit the bed, she was out, losing all consciousness in an instant.
Sitting on the bed, the dark-haired girl pressed her lips together, then licked them lightly.
“The lipstick is gone?” It had been removed very cleanly, and she hadn’t smeared it all over the pillow in her sleep either.
Fan An remembered that this lipstick had particularly good staying power. Logically, it shouldn’t have been completely wiped off while she was drinking, right?
“Did I eat it by accident?” the girl wondered. “Or did it rub off somewhere?”
A mystery of the world. She’d probably have to hire a detective to solve the case.
After drinking the honey water and taking the hangover medicine, Fan An no longer felt like sleeping. She washed up and walked into the kitchen.
Fan An: “I don’t know why, but I feel like I should steam a pot of fermented rice wine buns.”
She found flour and yeast in the kitchen, but no fermented rice wine.
This was a job for her handsome and kind-hearted neighbor. As a cooking enthusiast, his house had everything. Fan An privately thought that if Mr. Amuro quit his job and set up a food stall, he would definitely make a fortune.
At least his daily income would be higher than the squinty-eyed, pink-haired university student selling beef and potato stew at the gate of the Kudo residence.
“I’ll give him half of the fermented rice wine buns after I make them,” the girl said to herself. “I must have troubled him last night.”
Although she didn’t remember it clearly, it seemed the blond young man had been put through quite an ordeal by her.
Suspect An: I’m sorry, I’m guilty.jpg
Standing at her neighbor’s door, Fan An rang the doorbell.
Ding-dong.
Ding-dong.
The doorbell rang three times in a row, but there was no answer from inside.
“Is he not home?” she said, disappointed, lowering her hand from the doorbell.
Fan An returned to her own room, plugged her phone in to charge, and only then saw Amuro’s message.
[I’ll be busy with detective work for a while, so I might not be home often. If An’an needs anything, please leave a message. P.S. For particularly urgent matters, you can call, and I’ll do my best to rush back. —Amuro Tooru]
“I almost forgot that Mr. Amuro is a man who works multiple jobs.”
Fan An remembered her neighbor’s love for part-time work, a “Working Emperor” walking the streets of Beika Town.
In comparison, her life with only one job was too comfortable. Should she take on some part-time work to train herself?
Finding a job in Beika Town was still very easy. The newspapers were full of job postings every day, and the variety of night work was especially diverse, from moving bodies, to transporting bodies, to herding corpses, a one-stop service that would never disappoint the customers who had come seeking it.
Fan An, who had been a professional pig butcher for eighteen years, was very good at manual labor. She was qualified for most jobs. The only problem was that with Suspect An’s luck, the corpses she herded would probably start hopping and come back to life…
As Fan An was lost in thought, staring at the dazzling array of job postings in the newspaper, her phone suddenly rang.
“Director Kawamura?” Fan An answered the call. “Asking about my recent schedule? I’ll be joining a new cast in a little while. I’ve been free these past few days, and I was just thinking about whether I should find some part-time work.”
Director Kawamura: “Part-time work? A magazine cover shoot or a commercial?”
Fan An: “Herding corpses.”
Director Kawamura, on the other end of the line, slapped his thigh hard. Oh! I am such a vulgar person! I’m supposed to be an artist, yet my imagination is so barren! How disgraceful!
“I’m so ashamed I can’t even speak,” Director Kawamura sighed repeatedly. “The thought of using a variety show to delay your work of herding corpses makes me feel like I’m a terrible person.”
A variety show? Fan An’s eyes lit up. “Is it the kind of variety show where you can win a double-door refrigerator if you pass the challenges?”
She was very interested!
Director Kawamura: “Unfortunately, no. But the pay is enough for you to build a house out of double-door refrigerators.”
A double-door refrigerator could easily buy Fan An. She unhesitatingly abandoned her corpse-herding job and boarded Director Kawamura’s pirate ship.
A literal pirate ship.
“The location for this variety show is this luxurious cruise ship right before your eyes!”
The cruise ship, so magnificent that one had to crane their neck until it ached to see its entirety, was docked on the sea. Blue water, blue sky, a seamless horizon. White seagulls soared in the sky.
The variety show host stood in front of the camera and said passionately, “Let’s thank our sponsor from the Suzuki Group for their strong support of this program. This program will be broadcast live in its entirety, with no editing, no post-production, bringing you real-time interaction with your favorite actors and showing you their most authentic side.”
The camera panned to the male and female leads, the second female lead, the second male lead, the third male lead, and the mastermind.
Director Kawamura’s drama was a current hit. The moment the live broadcast began, a large number of viewers flooded in, causing the screen to lag. The host, like a glitched video, thanked the Suzuki Group over and over, a total of five times.
Suzuki Sonoko: How much money did my family invest? Why are they thanking us so many times?
The number of online viewers was terrifying. Besides the drama fans, there were also fans of each actor, frantically spamming the chat.
From the content of the fans’ spam, one could roughly tell what kind of image each celebrity was going for.
For example, the female lead’s “Sister is so cool and beautiful,” and the second female lead’s “Baby girl is pretty and has a sweet voice.” Their personas were very mainstream, very clear.
The male actors’ spam was more or less the same. If they had looks, they were praised for their looks. If they didn’t, they were praised for their acting. Among them, the third male lead’s fans were particularly enthusiastic in their praise of his acting: “My oppa can act out the fear of almost being shot in the head. Can yours?”
Other Actors: No, we really can’t. (shakes head furiously.jpg)
The screen changed, and the dark-haired, dark-eyed girl appeared in the frame.
The chat paused for a moment, followed by an explosion that covered the screen.
[AAAAAAAH SISTER SO YOU DIDN’T DISAPPEAR OR GO TO JAIL!]
[OMG OMG IT’S A FRESH SISTER! YOU’RE ACTUALLY MAKING A PUBLIC APPEARANCE! YOU REMEMBERED HOW TO MAKE A PUBLIC APPEARANCE!]
[SOBBING IT’S NEW CONTENT, FAMILY, IT’S NEW CONTENT!]
[IS THE LIVE STREAM USING A HOLY LIGHT FILTER? MY EYES ARE BEING BLINDED BY SISTER]
[YOU HAVE SUCH A PERFECT FACE TO BE IN A LIVE STREAM! EH MY SCREEN IS DIRTY LET ME LICK IT CLEAN!]
Fan An couldn’t see the chat and didn’t know that her fans were going crazy.
This person, having not signed with any film company or agent, had no concept of making public appearances. She was perfectly content with just receiving her pay.
It wasn’t that there weren’t reporters who wanted to interview her, but for some unknown reason, the resident information of the Trojan Horse Apartments was extremely well-protected. At the very least, you would need an intelligence network on the level of the Black Organization to know Fan An’s address.
Legitimate reporters couldn’t contact Fan An. The paparazzi could use crooked means, but don’t forget, she was a resident of Beika Town!
The “City of Crime, No Return” was not just a saying. Were you really going to give up your life for your job?
The paparazzi looked at the real-time crime rate of Beika Town and, after weighing their options, decided to forget about it. Working to the death sounded so miserable. The life insurance in Beika Town was so expensive, and their damn bosses definitely wouldn’t reimburse them.
Besides, Fan An only played the mastermind in this drama. Her billing wasn’t high. If she could be the lead in a hit drama, the paparazzi would be willing to pay for their own life insurance and rush to Beika to stake her out.
“Everyone has greeted the audience. I wonder who received a warmer welcome?” the host deliberately provoked. As expected, the real-time chat exploded again, his face completely covered by a mosaic of comments.
“Unfortunately, our actors can’t see the online data for now. But it’s okay. It’s time to test their real-life popularity.”
The host continued to stir the pot. “The passengers on the cruise ship don’t know that our crew is here. Let’s give them a big surprise!”
The chat instantly went crazy.
[WHAT WHAT, ARE YOU SAYING THAT IF I HAD BOUGHT A TICKET I COULD SEE MY SISTER, WHO NEVER MAKES PUBLIC APPEARANCES, IN PERSON?]
[JEALOUSY HAS MADE ME UNRECOGNIZABLE! HATE! SO MUCH HATE! I HATE THAT THE BIRDS ARE STARTLED!]
(T/N: A poetic line expressing deep sorrow.)
[WHERE ARE MY CONNECTIONS SISTER, CONNECTIONS BROTHER, CONNECTIONS UNCLE, CONNECTIONS AUNT?! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME! (frantic)]
[Hehe, you see, my mentality is very good. I’m not jealous at all. Hehe.]
[Ehehe, guess what? I’m here~]
[Hello, fellow passenger~ (eating chips.jpg)]
[To the two in front, leave your name, phone number, and address. I have a precious gift for you :)]
The variety show director saw the chat and was very satisfied.
Oh, our show is so popular. The tourists on the ship are all watching the live stream. The line for autographs is probably going to be very long later.
In order not to make the fans in the live stream too excited and come find the director for a real-life fight, I should have the actors sign a few more things for a live stream lottery.
The variety show director’s abacus was clacking away. Autographs were part of the contract. The actors had no objections and, in front of the camera, began to sign the autograph boards.
As a celebrity, there was no one who hadn’t practiced their signature.
A signature carefully designed by a designer, practiced a thousand times, until it was second nature.
Fan An also skillfully signed her name.
[SISTER IS FINALLY DOING SOMETHING A PROPER CELEBRITY WOULD DO! ALTHOUGH SHE DOESN’T MAKE PUBLIC APPEARANCES, AT LEAST SHE PRACTICED HER SIGNATURE! I’M SO TOUCHED!]
[SISTER SIGNING SO SERIOUSLY IS SO CUTE! I’LL KISS YOU!]
[WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WHY DO I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS WRONG?]
[SISTER’S HANDWRITING IS SO NEAT.]
[NOT A TRACE OF FLAMBOYANCE, A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!]
[HISS, BUT IT’S REALLY NEAT, LIKE AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENT WRITING THEIR NAME ON A TEST PAPER.]
[NO NO, IT’S NOT JUST THE HANDWRITING THAT’S WRONG. THE POSITION OF HER SIGNATURE IS ALSO VERY STRANGE.]
[ISN’T IT USUALLY SIGNED IN THE MIDDLE? WHY DID SHE SIGN IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CORNER?]
The chat raised questions. The power of the masses is great. With the collective effort of the fans, the truth emerged.
[I think I know the answer… Hint, I work at the Metropolitan Police Department.]
[Work at the Metropolitan Police Department +1. Such a neat signature, in the bottom right corner. It’s giving me work-related trauma.]
[I work at the Beika Police Station. I can testify that she has indeed practiced her signature many times. Absolutely no exaggeration.]
A few comments with an IP address from the Metropolitan Police Department flashed by. Fan An’s fans were momentarily silenced, the chat a blank slate.
A person with no sense of public appearance would not specially practice their signature.
The actress Miss An had no experience with autographs.
It was Suspect An who was the experienced one.
“It’s done.”
Fan An, with a relaxed expression, showed the autograph board to the host. “It’s no different from signing a police report.”
The host, who was drinking water, sputtered. “Pfft, cough, cough, cough!”
It had been a while since Miss An had signed her dedicated police report. She kind of missed it.
She held the pen with great professionalism, waiting to sign autographs for the fans on the cruise ship.
…
Off-camera, the crew on the deck of the cruise ship was surrounded by a crowd.
“I really want to go get her autograph.”
“Even though I almost killed her, I still really want to go get her autograph, Aniki.”
Vodka looked at Gin, his eyes, hidden behind his sunglasses, filled with anticipation.
The silver-haired man, a cigarette in his mouth, glanced at him coldly.
Vodka read the threat in his big brother’s eyes: “You idiot, are we upstanding citizens who can be exposed on camera?” The light of hope in his eyes was extinguished.
He really wanted to go, but he was also very afraid of being scolded by his big brother. His big brother was right. They were a group of people who couldn’t see the light, an evil force of darkness.
If only Vermouth were here. Vodka was filled with regret. If it were Vermouth, even if she were glared at by his big brother, she would still do as she pleased with a nonchalant expression. He really envied that kind of courage.
Unfortunately, no one on this mission today dared to defy his big brother’s tyranny…
Vodka rubbed his eyes.
He had almost forgotten that he hadn’t taken off his sunglasses—Vodka wiped the lenses.
The shiny lenses of his sunglasses reflected an inconspicuous figure in the line for autographs.
What did he see?!
“Aniki!” Vodka blurted out. “Why is Scotch Whisky standing in line?”