“Not really.”
“Not really? I can tell from here in Italy, Teacher Lizi.”
His voice dipped in helpless amusement. Li Xia touched her nose, letting out a short laugh—half embarrassed at being called out on her bravado.
She dropped the act. “Everyone has those random moments of fog and funk. Totally normal, right?”
“Yeah, totally normal.”
“If life were a movie, emotions would be the frames—ups and downs, good and bad, all part of it,” F said.
“I think that too.” Li Xia agreed, then added, “My hard work just ran into some bad luck.”
She said it slowly, drawing out the words.
Then, as if snatching them back, she brushed it off quick. “Eh, whatever. I won’t wallow in it long anyway.”
“Good.”
“Yeah.”
“What about you guys? Do men ever get like that, or are you all allergic to these moods?” Li Xia asked.
“I do. Spent a long stretch in exactly the state you described.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“How’d you get out of it?”
“Didn’t fully,” F admitted quietly. “Just shoved it down or turned the page.”
“…Fair enough.”
She didn’t dig for details, and he didn’t offer. Just like he hadn’t grilled her on her day. Adults had this weird, fuzzy line between privacy and sharing—hint at it and move on.
But that night, F still managed to surprise her.
After their back-and-forth, he asked out of nowhere, “Where are you right now?”
“?”
“Share your location.”
It felt casual, like with a real-life buddy.
Li Xia had no clue what he was up to, but she scanned around and replied, puzzled, “Over by Hualian North Gate.”
“What for?” A hint of wariness crept into her voice.
“Nothing big. Just want you to know I don’t just get your moods—I can join in.” His tone was clear and earnest.
“Huh?”
“Do what I say. From where you are, face the road, head to Hui’an Road Intersection. Cross the light, hang a left into the residential block across the way, third shop down.” F’s directions were crisp. “Go on, Teacher Lizi.”
“So… what is this?” Li Xia asked again. “Director Fang, you know you sound like you’re luring a girl into trafficking right now?”
F laughed. “You’ll see when you get there.”
Li Xia bobbed her head like a pestle in a mortar. “Yeah, yeah—keep talking like that, and it fits even more.”
He kept chuckling in her ear, and she decided to trust him once. It wasn’t far. She teased him the whole way, but her feet didn’t slow. Over the footbridge, another three hundred meters, around the bend—and when Li Xia counted to the third shop, she burst out laughing.
“Director Fang, you don’t mean this one—”
She looked up at the six bold red-and-white characters spelling out “China Welfare Lottery” and grinned. “The lotto spot?”
“Yep.”
“Buy lottery tickets? But my luck’s in the gutter today.”
“Nah, something fun.”
He sounded dead set on it. “Like scratch-offs?”
She wasn’t crazy about them—had scratched a few times on a whim, never cashed out once. Always slunk away scanning a code to pay up, kicking herself for playing the sucker.
“How?”
“My treat. You play.”
His offer was generous and breezy. Li Xia stood on the gray steps outside, rolling a pebble underfoot, finding the whole thing absurdly hilarious.
“What if I lose?” she asked.
F pledged confidently, “Winnings are yours. Losses on me.”
Li Xia hedged with another warning. “But Director Fang, I’m cursed… Games, gacha pulls—I always hit the hard pity.”
He laughed easy. “But it’s my dime today. You can’t lose. What’s to fear?”
“True.”
She was already there—no real reason to bail.
“Heading in.”
“Go for it.”
Before stepping inside, Li Xia rubbed her hands and made a wish to the full moon glowing amber that night. Right up to the threshold, she was still ribbing F like a mantra about her luck. “Director Fang, I’ll show you what ‘actions speak louder than words’ really means. If I tank hard, no tears, okay…”
…
This was Li Xia’s first time sharing a full scratch-off session live over voice call.
“Whoops, nada on this one.”
“This… looks like a bust too.”
“This one’s… zero. Ha, I’m not losing it.”
“One more!”
Her right hand gripped a little scraper, gliding it gently top to bottom, peeling back the foil to peek if fate had smiled. With each stroke, a growing stack of colorful “impulses” piled up on her left.
Every ticket had you on edge, heart scratching right along.
F’s lucky number was 9, so Li Xia grabbed a few marked with it. Three 20-yuan Chinese reds in a row—last one hit 60.
“Wasted effort.”
She fanned her cheek with the card. Glancing around, she realized in the dozen or so minutes she’d been parked there, the other patrons had cycled through two full shifts.
First guy in grabbed a Joyful Reunion without even setting his bag down, scratched it standing, hit two hundred bucks, and walked out grinning to claim it. Li Xia watched starry-eyed, green with envy.
“God, what luck.”
Phone propped on the glass counter, she kept sighing into it.
“Keep at it! Next one’s yours,” came the voice from the speaker.
Still in the red, it barely cheered her. With a sigh, Li Xia wondered if she’d botched the wish—should’ve been more specific. Inspiration struck. “Teacher Fang, how’s your Euro history? Any Greek god of luck? Quick, help me pray.”
The two girls next to her cracked up.
Li Xia shot back a goofy grin.
It was just a throwaway joke, but seconds later, F actually answered.
“I just looked it up—yeah, there is. The goddess of fortune’s Tyche. Mention her by name next time, or she won’t hear you.”
Li Xia perked right up from her slump. “Not surprised— that’s you!”
“Give it another shot,” F urged.
“Got me all jittery now.”
She wished, eyes shut, and drew a light card. Heart pounding, she scraped—and deflated.
“…Nope. Sigh. Tyche must be off the clock.”
F laughed at her. “No worries. The good stuff’s saved for last. One more.”
“…”
How’s he more hooked than me? Li Xia wondered, then it clicked. “Teacher Fang, be real. You been abroad so long you’re itching to play yourself, huh?”
Whether it was a case of rock bottom leading to a turnaround, after that, Li Xia scratched three tickets in a row, each revealing prizes of varying sizes.
She was thrilled. “I actually won!”
The two girls nearby overheard and dragged their stools over to sit right next to her, saying they wanted to borrow some of her good luck.
Li Xia happily shared her tips. “Did you hear what my friend just said? The goddess of luck is named Tyche. Making a wish is like writing a letter—you need to address it to the recipient, or the gods won’t hear your plea.”
One of the girls glanced at Li Xia’s phone, where the screen showed an ongoing voice call.
She immediately got it. “You two in a long-distance relationship? That’s so sweet.”
Li Xia hurriedly waved her hands. “No, no, it’s not like that.”
The girl nodded as if she understood perfectly, flashing a knowing smile.
That smile made Li Xia switch to the earpiece right away for the next few minutes. She fought back her urge to chat and cut down on her conversation with F.
And just like that, her luck turned in an instant—
On the twenty-fourth ticket, she finally uncovered the biggest win of the night. Li Xia stifled the scream bubbling inside her, patted the silvery-gray film stuck to her palm, and declared she was done. She called the boss over to settle up.
“Done already?”
The mastermind behind it all was still directing her remotely.
Under the harsh white glow of the bulbs, Li Xia grinned wide, her crescent eyebrows arching playfully. Her wits were still about her. “Don’t you know when to quit while you’re ahead, Teacher Fang?”
The lottery shop owner carefully tallied the stake: 680 in total. Li Xia couldn’t quite say if her luck that night had been good or bad. In that half hour, she’d recouped 560. Normally, she wouldn’t have had that kind of fortune. She was still down over a hundred, all told.
“Paid out—”
Li Xia’s voice was light and playful as she reported into the phone.
Soon, the voice that had kept her company all evening came through. “It’s fine, Teacher Lizi. You’ve done great.”
Li Xia smiled. “I think so too!”
“Super great.”
F praised her like he was coaxing a child.
Li Xia couldn’t help curving her eyes into happy crescents.
The faint cloud of dust in her heart had long since cleared away that night, with F laughing and joking alongside her.
She remembered the grueling afternoon livestream and everyone’s advice. Unable to hold back, she echoed F.
“Yeah, super great!”
When it was time to settle up, Li Xia hung up first. It was just a small thing; she hadn’t really wanted F to cover for her. She scanned the QR code and confirmed the amount. At the sound, the boss straightened up from behind the glass counter.
“No need, miss. Your boyfriend already paid just now.”
Li Xia’s eyes went wide, her pupils dilating slightly, her lashes fluttering twice. “Huh?”
Seeing her so stunned, her cheeks flushing red, the boss chuckled. “It had to be that young guy on the phone with you. He paid me while you were playing.”
Li Xia was utterly shocked and couldn’t figure it out. “How… how did he pay?”
“He texted me early on for the account and QR code, transferred a thousand, and said to let you play as much as you wanted.”
“…”
Li Xia couldn’t put her feelings into words right then. In a daze, she remembered those balances. “Boss, then his…”
To make it simple, the boss said, “I’ll just scan and send the extra back to you.”
Li Xia was genuinely startled. She waved her hands like twin windshield wipers on high speed. “No, no, no—please don’t. Send it straight back to him the way it came.”
“Alright, alright.”
Li Xia fretted that the boss might be scamming her, leaving F high and dry. Only when she saw the transfer record with her own eyes did she finally leave. The girls in the shop with her no longer envied her wins. Instead, they gave her a thumbs-up and clucked their tongues in admiration.
“Sis, upgrade that one to official boyfriend status. He qualifies!”
Li Xia pressed her lips together in a smile.
The lottery shop used the cheapest white bulbs, but to Li Xia, everything felt exceptionally bright. She wasn’t one to dwell on bad moods or let them grow. She was good at cheering herself up. But the older she got, the more she realized that personal emotions were like a hot, sticky potato. Tossing it out in a tantrum only burdened those close to you.
Not landing it on them was already a win. How could she dare hope they’d help dissolve it for her?
Walking through the mild early summer night, Li Xia truly felt the mood that came after winning.
Happy. Relieved. A touch dreamlike.
Her heart felt like it was melting.