◎Kinship and Love Bless All Things◎
Li Xia ran all the way home.
It was still early for the Summer Night Community’s garbage collection time, yet she raced back downstairs at full speed. She’d been out for less than an hour, so that bag of trash should still be right where she’d left it. She had to dig it out—the little ball that had belonged to Bread, its final memento. And she needed to come clean to Zhao Xiaolan, to lay everything out clearly. For the first time, she felt filled with courage.
The Summer Night Community was full of people out for evening strolls. Standing in front of the words “Other Trash,” Li Xia ignored the stares from passersby. She switched on her phone’s flashlight and plunged her arm into the bin, rummaging around. Fortunately, it was all dry waste. She hadn’t paid attention to the color of the plastic bag when she’d tossed it in, and after digging through two or three bags, nothing looked familiar at all.
She had no idea where that little ball had ended up.
…
Li Xia grew more frantic with every passing moment. She couldn’t reach the deeper parts, and sweat beaded on her forehead. Her hands were filthy, with no way to wipe them clean. She paused, standing there at a loss, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Had someone taken it? Or had the trash already been collected? Maybe she should ask the property management staff? As she pondered, a voice came from behind her.
“Xia Xia? What are you doing here?”
She didn’t need to turn around; she recognized Zhao Xiaolan’s voice immediately. With the trash bin at her back, Li Xia had nowhere to retreat. In a panic, she grabbed her skateboard from the ground. “Nothing! I just got back from the park.”
Zhao Xiaolan didn’t stop walking. “Come on, let’s go.”
“Oh.”
Feeling guilty, Li Xia trailed two steps behind with her head down. Then she remembered the important task at hand and quickly said, “Wait, I just remembered I have something to do. You go ahead.”
Zhao Xiaolan glanced back at her. “Where to now?”
“Uh…” Li Xia’s mouth opened and closed. “Well, my stomach’s a bit upset. I was just going to walk it off in the courtyard.”
“Have you eaten?”
Li Xia had just gotten off work and her stomach was empty, but all she could think about was finding that little ball. She lied and said she’d already eaten.
“Perfect timing. I’m heading to the bakery at the gate to pick up breakfast for tomorrow. What do you want? We’re out of toast at home, right? Red bean or coconut filling?”
Zhao Xiaolan was already climbing the steps but turned back to ask if Li Xia wanted to come along.
Seeing her chance, Li Xia jumped in. “I’ll go buy it.”
Zhao Xiaolan insisted she needed to get a few other things too. Li Xia couldn’t argue and had no choice but to follow. People were mobile, but trash bins weren’t. With the bin out of sight, Li Xia worried endlessly. Along the way, she kept checking the time, her mind consumed by thoughts of that ball. She was terrified the trash would be hauled away. But she couldn’t just make an excuse to head back first—Zhao Xiaolan would surely notice her daughter rummaging through the garbage.
To make matters worse, after browsing the bakery, Zhao Xiaolan got drawn into the neighboring shops selling braised meats and cosmetics. The sales clerks pulled her in, chattering away with endless pitches, and Zhao Xiaolan showed no sign of leaving. She listened with saintly patience. They chatted and laughed as the seconds ticked by, each one spawning ants that crawled across Li Xia’s heart, mocking her.
She couldn’t take it anymore.
Li Xia practically shoved Zhao Xiaolan out the door. “I have something urgent. We need to head back soon.”
“What’s the rush?” Zhao Xiaolan asked.
“It’s nothing, really. I’m just worried you’ll get scammed. Let’s go home.”
“What’s there to rush about? It’s such a nice evening. I’ll call your Grandma down for a walk too.”
“Oh, come on,” Li Xia said, her impatience plain on her face. She stomped her foot twice before blurting out, “I’m in a hurry to find something!”
“What thing is so urgent?”
“Just don’t ask, okay?”
“What’s wrong with asking?”
“I don’t want to say.”
“If you tell me, Mom can help you look. If not, we can call your Grandma—more people, more power.”
Li Xia’s brows furrowed tightly as she tugged at Zhao Xiaolan’s arm. “Really, no need. It’s just a little thing. I’m just poking around. Mom, please don’t worry about it. Hurry up…” The more frantic Li Xia got, the more Zhao Xiaolan planted her feet. Then came a soft chuckle.
“Looking for something? Looking for this?”
Zhao Xiaolan held out her hand.
Like a magician pulling a trick, a pink, rough little ball rested peacefully in her palm. It wasn’t soiled or changed. It was real—the one Li Xia wanted, the one Bread had chewed on.
Li Xia stared without blinking, stunned. She reached out to touch it, still disbelieving.
Her throat felt sticky.
Her nose stung, and her eyes were more honest still, welling up with tears first. When she finally looked up, her eyes were red-rimmed. She gazed at Zhao Xiaolan and choked out a single word.
“Mom…”
It was instinctive, that cry. In moments of surprise, joy, or now—like when Mom worked magic and granted wishes—the voice of the heart slipped out.
“Already crying?” Zhao Xiaolan laughed despite herself.
Tears blurred Li Xia’s vision, but she grinned through them. She felt shy, joyful, astonished, and deeply moved. She leaned close to Zhao Xiaolan, wanting to hug her. Her forehead pressed against Zhao Xiaolan’s shoulder as tears dripped steadily, even as Li Xia kept laughing.
“When did you pick it up, my wonderful mom?”
Zhao Xiaolan snorted. “Before you did. If you’d known better, why do it in the first place? Some people never grow up.”
“If it was so important, why throw it away?”
Li Xia pulled back a little. “Like you said, I haven’t grown up yet. I’m childish, and I make mistakes.”
Her eyes shimmered with teary brightness, her lashes damp, her nose pink. Zhao Xiaolan watched her daughter, who seemed like a little lamb. She wiped the tears from the corner of Li Xia’s eye.
She’d thought her daughter had gotten over the dog’s death, but it had all been a front. Zhao Xiaolan blamed herself for not noticing sooner, yet she was glad she hadn’t let Li Xia throw her tantrum unchecked.
Just over an hour earlier, she’d followed Li Xia out the door. She’d watched her daughter decisively toss the trash bag, then walk away. Staring at her retreating back, Zhao Xiaolan’s heart had ached. Without hesitation, she’d fished the little ball out of the bin.
Her plan had been to quietly tuck it into the box where they’d stored Bread’s things. That felt complete. As people aged, they sometimes wanted to let go, other times to hold on. But what truly mattered had to be kept.
“Will you forgive me, then?” Li Xia asked, looking up at her.
Zhao Xiaolan didn’t answer right away. Instead, she countered, “Will you forgive yourself?”
“…”
No.
She couldn’t forgive herself. She knew how important it was.
Li Xia pressed her lips together and tucked in her chin, brimming with shame.
Her voice came out as a mosquito’s whisper. “I really know I was wrong…”
Suddenly remembering something, she asked urgently, “Grandma isn’t mad, is she?”
Zhao Xiaolan gave her a sidelong glance. “Mad about what?”
“I threw away Bread’s little ball. She treasured it so much, and she cries easily…”
“You knew that, huh.”
Li Xia felt even more guilty. “I’ll go apologize to Grandma right now.”
“Oh, enough,” Zhao Xiaolan sighed softly. “Grandma isn’t mad. She’s too busy worrying about you—whether you’ve eaten, whether you’ll trip and fall. How could she hold a grudge over a little ball?”
Of course. Qu Shuxin had spent her life fretting. How could she resent Li Xia over something so small? As a child, Li Xia had done worse—ruined Grandma’s knitting, complained that her cooked carrots tasted awful—and Grandma had loved her just the same.
Li Xia fell silent. So often, she felt that family ties and love were like a vessel, vast enough to hold everything, blessing all things.
And she was right at its center.
As guilt welled up, Li Xia clutched Zhao Xiaolan’s hand tightly. She had so much to say, words she’d bottled up. She remembered what F had said: We have to express ourselves, explain. Everything else comes second. She was loved, trusted—she couldn’t deceive them anymore.
Li Xia gathered her thoughts and mustered her courage. “Mom, actually, there’s one more thing I’ve been wanting to confess to you…”
Zhao Xiaolan’s gaze turned serious, as if she could see right through her.
“The truth is… I haven’t been dating anyone. I lied to you before. It was all a misunderstanding. I never cleared it up and just let it snowball. The guy on my phone screen—he’s not my boyfriend. I’ve never even met him.”
“So who have you been talking to every day…?” Zhao Xiaolan held a hand to her ear.
Eager to explain, Li Xia rushed on. “I really was chatting and calling with him, but we’re just at the talking stage now. We haven’t… we haven’t started dating.”
“An online friend?”
“…Yeah.”
“And now?”
Zhao Xiaolan was only asking questions, showing no anger, so Li Xia continued. “We were chatting for a while, then he suddenly went radio silent.”
“It fizzled out?”
“…Not exactly.” Zhao Xiaolan’s reaction wasn’t what Li Xia had expected, and she let out a small laugh. “He explained later on WeChat. It was a legitimate emergency—totally understandable.”
“And you forgave him, just like that?”
Li Xia nodded.
Then she added awkwardly, “…I forgave him with my mouth.”
Zhao Xiaolan smiled and started walking forward. Li Xia linked arms with her. They strolled slowly as Li Xia went on. “I don’t think I’m mad because he vanished out of nowhere. It’s more like… the fear in my heart.”
“In this whole thing, I got to know myself—and that scared me.”
She wasn’t as carefree as she’d thought. She cared desperately. When she realized F could leave or disappear at any moment, fear gripped her. Fear of someone entering her life, then exiting. And seeing her own vulnerabilities made her even more timid.
Li Xia said that, in a way, he had amplified her sense of self.
“And I don’t think anything will necessarily come of us. But Mom, I really don’t like any of those people from the blind dates. They kill any desire I have to date at all…”
“So he’s the one you like?” Zhao Xiaolan asked.
Put on the spot by her parents like that, Li Xia felt shy admitting it, but she nodded. “It might sound a bit unreliable.”
“You want to meet him?”
“Yeah.”
“Then follow your heart.”
Zhao Xiaolan glanced at her daughter, then gazed straight ahead, her expression calm and unruffled.
“You have to go through it at least once,” she said. “We’ve sheltered you too much, always hoping your career, your romances, and even your marriage would sail along without a single ripple. We keep forgetting that unbroken smoothness isn’t always a blessing. You’ve got so much more to learn, and relationships are one of those hard lessons. If it’s a good one—a real connection—Mom will back you all the way.”
She spoke with earnest weight, then shifted gears.
“But remember this: don’t let any man wrap you around his finger.”
“Huh?” Li Xia thought she’d misheard.
Zhao Xiaolan smiled, her eyes brimming with playful disbelief.
“What’s so funny? Your mom dated back in the day too, you know. I was the prettiest one in the whole hospital.”
“You still are,” Li Xia said, leaning in to interrupt.
Zhao Xiaolan met her eyes and broke into a grin.
“Is this what’s got you down?”
“Yeah. Scared you’d chew me out, that you’d be disappointed in me.” Li Xia fell quiet for a moment. “And today, the boss dumped another ridiculous business trip on me. I’ve got to head to Nanlin next week.”
“Nanlin?”
“Yeah.”
“Sounds perfect. Go for it.”
“What’s perfect about it?” Li Xia grumbled.
“Nanlin’s a lovely tourist spot,” Zhao Xiaolan said, slowing her pace. “You haven’t said a word, but I know that little head of yours is still moping over Bread. Get out there, clear the cobwebs—stroll by West Lake, breathe some fresh air. Sure, the travel’s a hassle, but a change of scenery will do you wonders.”
“Besides, I won’t be home next week anyway.”
“Where are you off to?”
“Just a quick trip. I’ll bring you something nice when I get back.”
“Yes!!”
As expected of Mom.
Even hearing Zhao Xiaolan’s voice filled Li Xia’s heart with warmth.
She felt her churning emotions settle into something gentle and smooth, free-flowing at last. She’d never felt this at peace. They talked the whole way home, chatting and laughing without a care.
The moon trailed behind them, eavesdropping—
“That guy on your phone screen—why him?”
“He’s hot!”
Zhao Xiaolan tsked, chuckling. “Just like me when I was young.”
“Hahaha, Mom, you—”
Li Xia reached out to pinch her cheek. “Aww, you’re too cute! Not even mad at me? You’re the best.”
Zhao Xiaolan fended her off with an elbow. “Always keeping secrets. Anyone else would think you were hiding a priceless gem.”
“Hahahaha.”
“Hold still—did you wash your hands?” Zhao Xiaolan dodged away, face scrunched in mock disgust.
“I did! Alcohol wipes count.”
“Wait—how’d you know?” Li Xia pointed at herself.
Zhao Xiaolan dragged out an “Ewww.” “Like a cat with its head in the trash. Get home and shower, now!”
“…You really saw?”
“I saw and heard the whole thing. Your stomach growling like thunder, starving yourself silly, skipping dinner to bolt out the door. Total wild child.”
“Mom…” Li Xia’s eyes prickled again.
“What?”
Zhao Xiaolan picked up the pace. Li Xia jogged to catch up, bouncing along step by step. “What’s for dinner? I smelled it the second I walked in—is that beef stew? I’m famished. Gimme two bowls!”
“You big greedy guts.”
“Heeheehee.”
…
Summer had a way of cracking open guarded hearts, and home did the same. This time, the door thudded shut behind them, heavy but warm—no longer chilling. It sealed away every last one of Li Xia’s fears.
They stepped inside to the sound of Qu Shuxin’s voice drifting from the living room.
“You’re back! Wash up quick—dinner’s ready.”