Episode 38
“Elonia, may I come in?”
Artius asked pleadingly from outside the door.
Elonia knew that if she refused, he would just pester her with physicians and other nuisances, so she reluctantly agreed.
Still bundled under the covers, she told Sarah,
“Let him in.”
Sarah opened the door.
Artius, who seemed to have rushed over in a frenzy, looked disheveled. His usually perfectly styled hair was a mess.
But Elonia, curled up under the covers, had no way of knowing how frantic he had been.
“Elonia, where does it hurt?”
Artius knelt by the bed, his voice laced with worry.
Elonia hesitated, taken aback by his exaggerated reaction.
What excuse should she make?
“I’m just a little tired.”
Since Chloe had said there was nothing wrong with her, there was no need to make a big deal out of it.
Elonia added nonchalantly,
“It’s nothing serious, so don’t worry about it.”
“How can I not worry? You’re my…”
Artius stopped mid-sentence.
Then, in a barely audible voice, he continued,
“…You’re my daughter. How can I not be concerned when my daughter is ill?”
“…!”
He wasn’t wrong.
But ironically, his words triggered a surge of emotions within Elonia.
Artius might have meant well, but she couldn’t accept his concern at face value.
The problem was that those words were coming from his mouth.
Impulsively, Elonia threw off the covers and sat up, her voice cold as she retorted,
“…Now you care?”
Elonia and Artius bickered constantly.
But this was the first time she had spoken to him with such a chilling tone, her face etched with pain and resentment.
Sarah, Aaron, and the two knights, who had rushed over after hearing the commotion, were stunned into silence.
“Elonia.”
Artius instinctively reached out, his hand trembling slightly.
It was a bad move.
The large shadow cast by his hand triggered a traumatic memory from Elonia’s past life as Chelon.
Slap—
“…!”
Elonia’s small hand swatted Artius’s hand away.
Artius froze, his face a mask of shock.
He was less surprised by the fact that she had hit him and more by the look of fear that flashed in her eyes.
“Ah…”
Elonia, realizing what she had done, quickly retreated back under the covers.
Her voice muffled by the blankets, she spoke, her tone heavy with emotion.
“Father, I don’t understand. If I’m truly your daughter, as you say, you shouldn’t have treated me like that.”
“…Elonia.”
“You said the same thing when I collapsed from exhaustion before. Am I only your daughter when I’m sick?”
The dam had broken, and her emotions surged forth, unstoppable.
“You blamed me for Mother’s death, and now you’re trying to act like a father? Do I have to forgive and forget everything, even the things I didn’t know about?”
The pain and resentment she had buried deep within her heart overflowed.
She wanted to lash out at him, to scream and shout, but her eyes were stinging with tears.
Her nose was running.
She didn’t want him to see her like this.
Elonia clutched the blankets tightly, refusing to let him witness her tears.
“…I’m sorry, Elonia.”
“Please leave.”
“…I was wrong.”
“I don’t want to see you for a while. Please leave.”
Elonia wriggled further under the covers, putting as much distance between herself and Artius as possible.
She curled up tightly, her back to him.
“Elonia, I’m sorry, I truly am.”
“…”
“I was wrong, about everything. No amount of apologies will ever be enough, but I’m sorry… And I’ve never meant those apologies more than I do now.”
“…”
Elonia remained silent.
She bit her lip, trying to stifle her sobs.
Artius, realizing that his presence was only making things worse, rose to his feet.
He turned to Sarah as he left.
“…Please take good care of Elonia.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
Before leaving Elonia’s room, Artius glanced at the small lump under the covers.
It was so small that it was hard to believe there was a person inside.
He remembered how tiny her hand had been when she swatted him away.
It hadn’t hurt at all. In fact, her hand had turned red from the impact.
That little girl hated him with all her might.
And it was all his fault.
“…Elonia, I’ll be going now. Get some rest.”
Artius forced himself to leave the room.
Only after he was gone did Elonia allow herself to sniffle and wipe away her tears.
***
“Your Highness, His Majesty has left. You can come out now.”
After Artius left, Sarah sat down gently on the bed, patting the bundle of blankets that enveloped Elonia.
Elonia curled up even tighter, afraid that Sarah’s gentle touch would make her cry even harder.
Sarah, her heart aching for the little girl, decided to share a story.
“Your Highness, do you know how I became friends with Her Majesty the Empress?”
“…You and, sniff… Mother?”
“Yes, Philemon and I.”
Elonia was curious.
She finally peeked out from under the covers, revealing her tear-stained face.
Sarah, her heart breaking at the sight, gently wiped away Elonia’s tears with her soft hand.
Elonia gradually calmed down, comforted by Sarah’s touch.
“The Empress and I weren’t very close at first.”
“You and Mother weren’t?”
That was impossible.
Sarah was incredibly kind, and Philemon was known for her gentle nature, often taken advantage of by those around her.
How could two such kind souls not get along?
Elonia, surprised, threw off the covers and turned to face Sarah.
Sarah chuckled softly, bumping her forehead against Elonia’s.
“Heehee, yes. You can ask Lady Asta if you don’t believe me.”
If Sarah was willing to vouch for it, it must be true.
Elonia, still skeptical, stared at her with wide eyes, prompting Sarah to continue her story.
Elonia always called her Sarah, but her full name was Sardiana Fortrun.
The only daughter of the valiant Duke Fortrun, a top graduate of the Lucid Academy’s Academic Department, and a beauty to boot, Sarah had been the darling of society.
But when Philemon, who had been frail and sickly, regained her health and entered the social scene, Sarah’s position was threatened.
“It was quite a shock for me back then. I couldn’t bring myself to welcome Lady Philemon, who was a princess at the time.”
“Did you bully Mother?”
Elonia had never spoken to Philemon, and she felt like a complete stranger to her. But if Sarah had truly mistreated her, Elonia would feel betrayed by the one person she trusted implicitly.
Sarah chuckled, wiping Elonia’s nose with a handkerchief.
“Your Highness, did you know? Everyone says Philemon was quiet and kind, but she actually had quite a temper.”
“Uh… Really?”
“Yes, really. One day, we had a huge fight, scratching and pulling each other’s hair like wildcats. It was so unbecoming of noble ladies.”
“Wait, but Mother was sickly, right?”
“Oh, it was Philemon who pulled my hair first. But somehow, I was the one who got labeled as the ‘mad dog.’ It was so unfair.”
“…”
Elonia had no idea that Sarah and Philemon were such close friends, bonded by their fiery personalities.
It made her wonder if Philemon’s hidden temper had been passed down to Llewellyn, considering Lady Asta’s calm and composed nature.
“So how did you become friends?”
“It was when Philemon’s marriage to His Majesty was decided. She called me over and asked me to be your godmother, Your Highness.”
“…After that fight?”
“Exactly. I was so surprised that I asked her why. She said I was her first real friend. She said even rivals could be friends, and that I was the only one she could ask. She said there were plenty of people who would be honored to be your godmother, but I was the only one who treated her like a normal person, regardless of her status.”
“…”
Even rivals could be friends, and sometimes, your only friend was your rival.
Sarah probably hadn’t intended it, but their relationship sounded eerily similar to Elonia’s relationship with Artius.
Elonia could understand why Philemon had entrusted Sarah with her most precious treasure.
“I refused several times, but I couldn’t keep rejecting the future Empress’s request. I felt sorry for her, seeing how happy she was. And to be honest, I didn’t have many friends either, so I was actually quite happy when she called me her friend.”
“…I see.”
Elonia learned something new about her mother and Sarah, but she still didn’t understand what Sarah was trying to say.
Sarah gently caressed Elonia’s cheek, meeting her gaze.
“Your Highness, I believe that relationships can’t grow without conflict. After all, if there’s no conflict, it just means one person is constantly suppressing their feelings.”
“…Sarah.”
“That’s why I was happy when you and Young Master Llewellyn bickered.”
Now that she thought about it, Sarah always looked anxious when she and Llewellyn fought, but there was also a hint of relief in her eyes.
“But conflict isn’t always good. If it causes irreparable emotional damage and brings you to tears, then it’s okay to walk away from that relationship.”
“…”
“Your Highness, may I ask you something? Is His Majesty that kind of person to you?”
“That’s…”
Elonia couldn’t answer right away.
Sarah reassured her, “It’s okay. I understand it’s not an easy question to answer. But Your Highness, I care about you like my own daughter. It pained me to see you hurting, but I was also glad that you finally let your tears flow freely today, instead of hiding your pain.”
“…Sarah, I still don’t know. I don’t know what I want…”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to make a decision right now. But no matter what you choose, Your Highness, your Sarah will always be by your side.”
Sarah’s bright blue eyes shone with love as she gently bumped her forehead against Elonia’s.
“You must be hungry. What can I bring you?”
“…I want cream stew. With lots of meat.”
“And for dessert?”
“Custard pudding with caramel sauce.”
“Heehee, alright. Just wait a moment.”
A while later, Elonia, having devoured the warm stew and pudding Sarah brought her, pondered her situation.
Did she truly want nothing to do with Artius?
She didn’t know.
She used to be certain, but not today.
‘Can we truly become a family?’
Even the sweetness of the caramel and custard couldn’t soothe her troubled mind.
***
“Did you do something to upset Her Highness while I was gone?”
Aaron asked Artius, his voice laced with concern, as soon as they returned to the office.
Artius was lost in thought.
This was the first time Elonia had shown such raw emotion since she collapsed from exhaustion in the spring.
He realized that she had rarely acted out during her most rebellious years and sank deeper into the mire of guilt.
“I’ve been doing wrong by her since the moment I met her.”
“But things have been getting better lately. Remember, she even waited for you after receiving those jewels.”
Even Aaron, who usually enjoyed delivering harsh truths to Artius, struggled to find the right words, seeing how dejected he was.
Artius dismissed Aaron, claiming he needed some time alone.
‘I was a fool.’
He had abused her and then tried to act like a father, reopening her wounds.
The more he thought about it, the more he regretted his actions over the past four years.
He hadn’t even earned her trust yet.
He had been so deluded by the fact that she had waited for him once that he had started calling himself her father.
He felt ashamed and disgusted with himself.
“Philia, I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me.”
Artius buried his face in his hands.
Tears streamed down his face.
He wished he had died back then, before he hurt her so deeply.
He should have died when he had the chance.
No, that was wrong.
That was a selfish thought, a way to escape his own pain.
No matter how much he apologized, it wouldn’t erase her scars. He wished he could turn back time and start over.
“If only I could go back…”
If he could, he would hold her close the moment he saw her, that tiny, fragile baby, and thank her for surviving.
He would sever the roots of his foolish pride and resentment and shower her with love.
But the gods wouldn’t grant him a second chance.
So instead of dwelling on useless regrets, he had to focus on becoming a better person.