Their lips met, and Huo Chuxue was completely stunned. She had only wanted to provoke him a little, to force him to speak his mind. She never imagined he would actually go this far.
Goodness, that was terrifying!
His kiss was urgent and heavy, somewhat rough, not gentle in the slightest. The depths of his eyes were bloodshot, like a beast starved to its limit encountering food, eagerly wanting to begin a gluttonous feast.
This version of He Qingshi was unfamiliar to her. Where was the modest gentleman, the gentle and refined man from ordinary days?
Huo Chuxue felt her heart tremble. Reason told her she should push him away. After all, the two of them had no relationship at the moment. She had said she wanted to be strangers with him, not even friends. Getting entangled like this again was truly inappropriate.
But her body was honest, feeling immense pleasure, and had no desire to stop him at all. He had stirred her longing, making her gradually lose control, lose her reason, become infatuated with him.
She had always followed her whims, going with her feelings. Since she didn’t want to push him away, she stopped trying. She allowed herself to be willful this once, to be crazy this once. The object was He Qingshi, after all, the man she had always liked. She wasn’t losing out.
He Qingshi had suppressed himself for too long; how could a single kiss satisfy him? He had completely lost his reason by now, everything driven by instinct. The only thought in his mind was that he wanted more, he just wanted more.
She was too wonderful, so tender and sweet, thoroughly awakening the wicked elements buried deep in his bones. His hands were completely out of control, slowly moving downward…
That touch of real softness transmitted from his fingertips, the sensation magnified, growing clearer.
His entire body shuddered violently, instantly recovering a sliver of reason.
The two were entangled fiercely. Huo Chuxue’s clothes were disheveled, her eyes bloodshot, her gaze intoxicated.
In an instant, just a single instant, countless feelings of shame and guilt flooded his entire being.
He panicked and pulled away, wanting to stand up, but Huo Chuxue tightly grabbed his wrist. She sat up straight and said coldly, “He Qingshi, are you even a man? All talk, no action. When will you act like one?”
“I’m sorry.” His expression was pained.
“I don’t want to hear it.” She shouted, raising her hand to undo the buttons of his shirt. “You started this. You don’t get to call a stop now.”
He Qingshi: “…”
“Doctor Huo…” He hurriedly grabbed her hand.
“Call me Xiaoxue.”
“Xiaoxue…”
“He Qingshi, look into my eyes. Do you dare say you have no feelings for me at all?” Huo Chuxue suddenly laughed and began to take off her own clothes. “He Qingshi, don’t you want to have me?”
“Xiaoxue, don’t be like this!”
When she was down to just her bra, she pressed close, cupped his face, and blew gently against his ear. Her breath was warm and steady, enticing. “He Qingshi, I like you. I really, really like you. I’ve never liked someone this much before. I know you like me too, right? I can feel it. Stop deceiving yourself, okay? Give yourself a chance, won’t you?”
He Qingshi didn’t dare hold her. His hands hung in mid-air, stiff as boards.
Her breath was tingling and scorching hot. She was clearly a siren, captivating his very soul. He Qingshi couldn’t move, his reason beginning to scatter again, like a sponge soaked in water, sinking bit by bit.
She was doing it on purpose, deliberately seducing him.
Reason finally crumbled, the fortress of his heart collapsed, the city gates were breached.
He slowly reached out to hold her…
Since he couldn’t escape it, he might as well follow his heart, indulge her in this willfulness, and live for himself this once.
In that moment, Huo Chuxue thought, even if she died now, it would be worth it.
The next few hours were extraordinarily chaotic, like unraveling a cocoon, leaving both body and mind profoundly shaken.
A girl’s first time was always so painful, as if her body was being split apart. Yet, it was precisely because of the pain that it became unforgettable.
——
When consciousness returned, the sky was already bright. After the rain, the air was clear and the sun was brilliant.
Beside her, He Qingshi was sleeping soundly, his features peaceful.
She fished her clothes off the floor and slowly put them on.
It was already past ten. Fortunately, she was on the night shift, or she would have been late.
As she stepped off the bed, a man’s lazy, hoarse voice came from behind her. “Xiaoxue.”
Huo Chuxue turned to look at him and said naturally, “I’m going back first.”
After the most intimate contact, He Qingshi couldn’t possibly be as composed as she was. He looked especially awkward.
He moved his dry lips. “That… we… I…”
He couldn’t even speak properly now. How pathetic.
Huo Chuxue raised an eyebrow, seeming completely unconcerned. “I know you were drunk. I won’t take this to heart.”
He Qingshi: “…”
“I wasn’t drunk. I was very clear-headed. I knew what I was doing.” He raised his voice, deliberately emphasizing.
“Then it was me who seduced you. You don’t need to worry about it.”
He Qingshi: “…”
She walked out of the bedroom barefoot, and soon the sound of a door closing followed.
The moment the front door shut, Huo Chuxue let out a heavy, turbid sigh.
He Qingshi, I’m going to make you taste what it’s like to long for someone too!
——
After Huo Chuxue left, He Qingshi sat alone for a long time. He never imagined she would react like this. He thought that after this, they would naturally be together. For so long, it had been him who couldn’t let go of his hang-ups, rejecting her again and again. Now that he had finally resolved his issues and wanted to be with her properly, she was the one backing off. What kind of situation was this!
He went to the bathroom, took a shower, changed into clean clothes, and immediately went to her place to find her.
But she actually avoided him, locking him right outside the door. He knocked for a long time, but she never came to open it.
It seemed she was determined not to see him this time.
Undaunted, he went to the hospital that night to intercept her. This time, he saw her, but they only exchanged a word or two, and her attitude was incredibly cold.
Holding a medical chart, her voice was icy. “Mr. He, I still have to work. Whatever it is, we can talk after my shift.”
“Alright, then I’ll wait for you to get off work.”
He waited at the hospital all night, only to find out she had gone back home without a word the next morning. He had missed her again.
For a whole week, she deliberately avoided him, and he couldn’t see her at all.
He Qingshi couldn’t sit still anymore!
He was utterly perplexed, not knowing what game Huo Chuxue was playing. Having no other options, he went to find Lan Yi.
After listening quietly, Lan Yi smiled slightly. “It’s truly rare to see you so completely at a loss after all these years! It shows you really like Doctor Huo a lot!”
He Qingshi was getting a headache. “I only realized it recently. I ignored it before. Please, tell me, what should I do now?”
Lan Yi analyzed, “Doctor Huo is a girl with high self-esteem. Before, she lowered herself to pursue you, but you kept rejecting her. A girl’s pride must have been hurt. Now the tables have turned; she has the upper hand, so naturally she wants to make you sweat a little. Girls need to be coaxed. Coax her more, swallow your pride, say more nice things. There’s nothing that can’t be resolved.”
He Qingshi: “How do I coax her?”
“Coax her with your heart!”
He Qingshi seemed to understand but not quite, and could only brace himself and try.
Seeing him finally let go of the past and completely move on, Lan Yi felt deeply relieved. “Qingshi, seeing you like this now, I finally feel like you’re alive, like a real person. If Su Miao knows in the afterlife, she can finally rest in peace.”
For so many years, she had watched helplessly as He Qingshi closed himself off, trapped himself in a dead end, unable to break free. Although alive, he was devoid of vitality. Those around him had been powerless. They had advised him, lectured him with grand principles, even scolded him. But the person involved wouldn’t listen, so nothing helped.
She had always hoped someone could bring him out. Now, she had finally met that person.
He Qingshi remembered the dream from not long ago and said to Lan Yi, “Lan Yi, a while back, I dreamed of Su Miao. It was the first time I dreamed of her in ten years.”
“What did Su Miao say?”
“She told me to stop remembering her. She wants to be at ease and doesn’t want someone constantly thinking of her.”
He didn’t tell Lan Yi that the dream was bizarre. At Cenling Villa, Su Miao was dressed in white, crying incessantly.
He had never seen her cry so miserably before, her face covered in tears, streaming down endlessly.
Holding an axe, she hacked at the loquat tree with all her might while hysterically blaming him, her resentment deep.
He went to stop her. She glared at him with eyes as wide as copper bells, her face twitching. “He Qingshi, it’s all your fault for always remembering me, making me unable to rest peacefully for these ten years. I’ve been lingering by the Naihe Bridge, afraid to drink Meng Po’s Soup, terrified I would forget you. I cannot reincarnate because I’m still tied to this mortal world. Ten years… I’m really tired. Please, just forget me! Forget me completely, let me pass on in peace, and stop pining for you…”
“I’m cutting down this tree. You can’t spend your whole life guarding this tree forever… Forget me, and let yourself go too…”
He woke from the nightmare, gasping for breath, tear stains still at the corners of his eyes. He raised a hand to wipe them away; they were icy cold, shocking his fingertips numb.
The dream was so real and vivid, Su Miao’s words still ringing in his ears. He found it incredibly eerie and drove to Faci Temple the very next day.
Faci Temple was the largest temple in Qingling, with thriving incense offerings and a reputation for being very efficacious. Many locals deeply believed in it, and the stream of people going to burn incense and pray was endless.
Many years ago, He Qingshi had accompanied Su Miao there once.
He wasn’t a Buddhist believer, but seeking a master’s advice to resolve his doubts was possible, especially since this dream was truly bizarre and unsettling.
The abbot of Faci Temple, Master Jingci, stroked his graying beard and told him, “Life and death are fated. Everything follows its natural course. Go with the flow; do not force anything.”
These few short words were full of wisdom, a wake-up call for the world.
The one who remains must set the one who left at ease. Such a simple truth had taken him ten years to understand.
For the past ten years, he had guarded that loquat tree, read the books Su Miao loved in life, planted a courtyard full of plants, done everything she liked. It was as if only by doing this could he keep her, as if she had never left, as if she was always by his side.
After years of living in a dream, he finally woke up. Finally ready to seek the next chapter of his life.