Chapter 17: The Crack in the Door
During the Grain Rain season, the forest floor was muddy after the rain. Her straw sandals sank into the earth, and it took a long time to pull them out. Feng Yuzhen simply took them off and carried them in her hand, rolling up her trouser legs and walking barefoot on the slippery ground.
She held a long, thin, dry branch in her hand, sweeping it left and right in front of her to clear the bushes and fallen leaves, in case there were rats, poisonous snakes, or other creatures hiding inside.
Only a faint bruise remained around her eyes, unnoticeable unless one looked closely.
She carried a bamboo basket on one shoulder, filled with a haphazard collection of fruits and a few wild vegetables. It wasn’t that these were the only things she could find in the forest, but rather that when she was on her tiptoes picking fruit just now, her other shoulder had suddenly lost its strength, holding her back.
She had felt some discomfort after being hit by the stones thrown by the children that day. She had thought it had healed after ten days or so, but she must have strained it again just now when she stretched her arm.
She still had the bottle of ointment. Feng Yuzhen would only carefully scoop out a little with her little finger each time. After two days, the injury was mostly healed, and she had immediately returned it to its owner, but it had been unceremoniously rejected.
Cui Jingkong had been holding a book at the time and hadn’t even looked up. He had told her to keep it and use it for occasional bumps and bruises in the future.
Feng Yuzhen knew the ointment was very effective and was surely a rare and expensive item. Of course, she was unwilling to accept it, to be indebted to her brother-in-law again. She had simply left it on his desk.
The next day, the small porcelain bottle had reappeared on her windowsill like a lingering ghost, just like Cui Jingkong himself, a very unsettling presence in her otherwise plain and dull life.
The reason she was unwilling to accept it, besides the high price, was that applying it was a different kind of torture for her—the memory of his fingertips lingering and brushing against her face, the hazy ambiguity of it, tormented her endlessly.
In the days they had spent together, she had roughly figured out a part of Cui Jingkong’s character: on the surface, he was indifferent, but in reality, he was extremely stubborn. Once he made a decision, he would not allow others to change it.
It was far too domineering.
Her brother-in-law went to the academy during the day, so she could relax a little. But at night, she was on high alert, as if in a battle, afraid that he would catch her and do something.
Feng Yuzhen grumbled to herself, holding her uncomfortable shoulder, and quickened her pace back.
Back at the brick house, she first put down the basket, scooped a ladle of water from the water vat, and washed the mud from her feet. She slipped on her shoes and hurried into the side room, carefully closing the two windows.
Because one of her shoulders was weak, all of this was a struggle. She sat on the edge of the bed, her bare feet tucked under her on the bed, her calves pressed together. She unbuttoned her outer and inner garments one by one, revealing the shoulder that had not seen the sun for years.
She couldn’t turn her head to see what was behind her.
It was really uncomfortable. Feng Yuzhen hesitated for a moment, afraid that the injury hadn’t healed properly after half a month. Perhaps it was a serious injury, and if she delayed, she would have to go to a doctor, losing a watermelon to pick up a sesame seed.
So she took the porcelain bottle from the windowsill, dipped a little ointment, and applied it to the uncomfortable area with her hand behind her back. With her arm behind her, it was difficult to apply force, so it was a struggle.
She probably didn’t know that when she had rushed into the room just now, the door to the side room had not been properly closed, leaving a slight crack.
Cui Jingkong also hadn’t expected that he would be back early from his ten-day leave today. He had found the basket carelessly placed in the yard and a trail of watery footprints in the house. Something seemed amiss, so he hadn’t made a sound and had happened to witness this scene.
His widowed sister-in-law’s shoulder was half-exposed, a large patch of fair, smooth skin in full view. She was not wearing shoes, a relaxed state he had never seen before. She was sitting on her bare feet, one shoe dangling from her toes.
From her shoulder line down, a beautiful curve connected. Her clothes were bunched up at her waist, and one of her thin shoulder blades was like the wing of a butterfly about to take flight.
The thin red strap of her dudou was wrapped around her slender neck, while another was loosely tied around her waist. The two knotted straps hung in the hollow of her back, swaying slightly with her movements.
The extreme contrast of red and white was reflected in his dark, deep eyes. Cui Jingkong couldn’t help but think, this was the problem with his widowed sister-in-law. Her mouth was always tightly shut. If he didn’t push her, she would always stand silently in the shadows, never revealing a hint of her thoughts.
She couldn’t apply the medicine herself, but she would rather endure the pain alone than ask him for help.
Cui Jingkong stood there quietly, secretly. He thought, if she found it difficult to ask, he should have noticed her discomfort earlier. He could have climbed into her bed in the middle of the night and applied the medicine for her, and she would have been healed by now.
For a moment, his thoughts were in a turmoil. He found his widowed sister-in-law’s silent suffering a bit dull, yet he couldn’t tear his eyes away.
Until a hand pulled up the clothes that had fallen to her waist, covering the spring scenery. He suddenly averted his gaze, took two steps back, and when he came to his senses, he found his mouth was watering.
He tugged at his tight clothes and walked to the door as if nothing had happened, pretending to push it open as he called out, “Sister-in-law, I’m back.”
Feng Yuzhen had just pulled up her clothes in the side room. Hearing her brother-in-law’s voice and realizing he was just outside the door, her hands trembled so much she couldn’t even tie her sash. A dazed reply escaped her lips.
She was truly frightened. She didn’t know why her brother-in-law had suddenly returned during the day. When she walked out of the side room, her clothes were disheveled, and she was holding her shoulder uncomfortably.
Seeing her brother-in-law standing in the main room with a calm expression, she asked in a daze, “Why are you back so suddenly?”
Feng Yuzhen’s relationship with him was now delicate. One pretended to be oblivious, while the other was calm and composed, maintaining a precarious balance in the brick house, neither daring to cross the line again.
“The academy is on a ten-day break. I have three days off.”
Seeing her unconsciously rubbing her shoulder, the half-exposed white shoulder seemed to reappear faintly in the narrow, dark crack of the door. Cui Jingkong’s Adam’s apple moved slightly. He turned his face away and asked, “Is your shoulder uncomfortable, Sister-in-law?”
Feng Yuzhen felt much calmer after applying the medicine. “It’s nothing. It’ll be fine after a while.”
An inevitable silence fell between them again. Feng Yuzhen quickly went to the kitchen, wanting to escape being in the same room with him by cooking.
It had been more than half a month since that night, and she still found it difficult to face her brother-in-law with composure.
Like a tangled mess of emotions that couldn’t be cut or untangled, this mess was just there. As long as Cui Jingkong didn’t make a move, she could pretend she didn’t see it.
This was Feng Yuzhen’s philosophy of life. It was easier to ignore it than to try to untangle it.
For example, the crescent-white robe that was almost finished had also been put aside. Feng Yuzhen now found it too hot to handle.
It was originally a thank-you gift from a sister-in-law to her brother-in-law, but now it looked wrong no matter how she looked at it, more like some unspeakable evidence.
After some hesitation, she still folded the clothes neatly, stuffed them at the bottom of the cabinet, and decided not to give them to him to avoid any misunderstanding.
These past few nights, before going to bed, she would always pray and make a wish, hoping that all the absurdities were just a nightmare she had. Perhaps when she opened her eyes again, her brother-in-law would be back to his otherworldly self.
After a few days of trepidation, she found that he had not crossed the line again. It was as if he had given her a way out, and she had taken it, deceiving herself.
It wasn’t that she hadn’t thought of running away. When faced with a threat, a person’s instinct is to run. But even if she ran for a while, what then? Where could she run to? Would she encounter criminals? How long would the money she had last?
She had never been more than twenty li away from her home. The completely unfamiliar world was like a bloody mouth, ready to swallow her whole, bones and all. Feng Yuzhen was both scared and afraid.
So she comforted herself, It’s just a whim of a young man… Cui Jingkong has had very little contact with women. It’s just that I happened to spend a little more time with him. When Cui Jingkong becomes the top scholar, he will meet the graceful and noble princess. Only then will he know what a real woman is.
***
After they finished their meal, Feng Yuzhen briefly told him about her plan to go to town the day after tomorrow.
Regarding the long-term plan to sell pouches at the embroidery shop, Feng Yuzhen had carefully considered it and found it to be a stable and profitable source of income. She planned to go to town to agree to the shopkeeper’s offer.
She hadn’t originally planned to tell her brother-in-law about her trip to town the day after tomorrow. She would be back in the afternoon, so it wouldn’t take up much time. However, since Cui Jingkong would be at home that day, she certainly couldn’t hide it from him.
Feng Yuzhen was afraid of a repeat of the last time, when Cui Jingkong had chased after her, so she told him in advance, “I’m going to town the day after tomorrow.”
Cui Jingkong gave a “mm” and naturally brought up the topic of money. “Is the money from before enough?”
Feng Yuzhen was caught off guard by his question and remembered that the half liang was still under her bedding. Her hesitation gave her away.
Only then did Cui Jingkong realize that she had been supporting the household expenses all this time. His fingers tapped lightly on the table. “You didn’t use it?”
“You weren’t at home before, and I had some money on hand. Besides, you gave me too much. You need to save up for your travel expenses for the examination. It’s better to be frugal…”
Feng Yuzhen explained everything. She was clearly thinking of him, but as soon as the words left her mouth, she felt as if she were a step below her brother-in-law.
Cui Jingkong stared at her for a while, then glanced down. This person had probably forgotten that she was still wearing her shoes half-on, her heels not fully in.
His tone was light, but his words were undeniably ambiguous. “You’re not willing to use my money? Then am I not completely dependent on Sister-in-law now?”
What Feng Yuzhen feared most was his occasional mischievousness. She avoided his gaze. “I…”
Fortunately, Cui Jingkong had no intention of teasing her. He quickly offered a solution. “How about this? We’ll split the expenses. Sister-in-law can use up my half liang first, and then I’ll give you another share every three months.”
This was a reasonable arrangement. Feng Yuzhen agreed. Cui Jingkong then added, “I’ll go to town with Sister-in-law the day after tomorrow.”
Before she could subconsciously refuse, he cut her off with a single, light sentence, “I’m going to town to buy books.”
***
Two days later, the two of them took the Qian family’s ox-cart.
It was market day, so they were not the only passengers. There were five people in total, each paying two copper coins for the round trip. But Qian Yongshun still didn’t dare to accept the fare from Cui Jingkong and his widowed sister-in-law.
The two of them were the last to get on the cart at the village entrance, and there was only a small space left. They had to squeeze together, their elbows touching, and even their thighs would rub against each other on the bumpy road.
She was not very comfortable and tried to curl herself into a ball. Just then, she vaguely heard the two old women opposite her muttering about some village affairs.
“That kid from the Zhang family, and the few kids he usually plays with, I heard they stole money from home and went off to who knows where. They came back a few days ago, all bruised and swollen. It was scary!”
Only then did Feng Yuzhen remember the children from before—after that night, she had thought that the leader of the group had been beaten by his family and had settled down, which was why she hadn’t seen them near the riverbank anymore.
Who knew it was like this…
She didn’t think too much about it, figuring it was just childish ignorance that had led to trouble.