Episode 67
“…I’m a human, not a bird. I was scared of your reaction, and I ran away because I wanted to live.”
The novel’s fate dictated that Cesar would kill Lily, the bird. So I couldn’t stay by his side.
And I wanted to live like a human, not just a cute little bird, talking to others, making friends, and experiencing a human life.
I wanted to live as a human, not a bird.
Despite my honest confession, Cesar’s reaction was cold. He just stared at me with his chilling purple eyes.
“I’m sorry for reacting playfully. And I apologize if you were hurt by me pretending not to know you at the Imperial Palace. I’ll do anything you ask, so please forgive me…”
I had said I liked him but hadn’t considered his feelings. I had lightly dismissed all his actions, thinking they were because of Sylvia.
But hearing him say he had been frantically searching for me made me unable to meet his gaze.
Even though I had expected this, I was terrified of being rejected by him. The thought of him coldly dismissing me was more terrifying than death.
But I had broken my promise to him, so I couldn’t blame him for hating me. As I stared at the ground, overwhelmed by guilt and regret, Cesar’s hand touched my head. I blinked in surprise at his gentle touch, stroking my hair.
“Anything? I haven’t been able to sleep since you disappeared. If you say that, will you come to my bedroom and help me sleep?”
His voice, close to my ear, was low and quiet.
“…If that will appease you, I can stay as a bird for a while.”
I said, clenching my fists. The hand stroking my hair moved down and gripped my hair.
“I didn’t ask you to be a bird. Didn’t you run away from me because you wanted to live as a human?”
“But you were… hurt by my actions.”
I cherished my current life as a human. But I also cherished the time I spent with Cesar as a bird. During that time, Cesar had opened his heart to Lily.
And I was the one who betrayed him. Even if it was the predetermined fate in the original novel, I was the one who decided to leave. It was my choice.
“It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t hurt. But you want to be Valerie, a human, not Lily, don’t you?”
“…”
“If it were my usual self, I wouldn’t have considered that and just locked you in a cage. Or gotten rid of you because you were a nuisance.”
His fingers, gripping my chin, felt like they were about to tighten around my throat.
“But the more I think about it, the more my heart wavers. You’re definitely my bird, but you just seem like an ordinary woman before my eyes…”
I wanted to close my eyes, unable to meet his gentle gaze. My vision swayed like a candle in the wind from the heat radiating from his fingertips.
I felt like my flushed cheeks would be revealed in the hot summer breeze.
“How about properly apologizing at my mansion?”
His suggestive voice tickled my ear.
But before I could answer, a sense of foreboding washed over me.
I instinctively tensed up. I saw his face, waiting for my answer, but I had no other choice. It would be too late to go back to the mansion and warn Sylvia.
‘The timing!’
“Your Grace, you said you came to check for monsters nearby?”
My question was a clear attempt to change the subject. But his expression became serious.
“Yes. Why?”
“I think there’s one nearby. I can’t hear anything, but I’ve been feeling a slimy presence since earlier.”
“That’s your imagination.”
I protested his dismissive remark.
“Pardon? It’s not my imagination. I…”
“Didn’t you say you were going back to Sylvia’s mansion? You should go. Or are you stalling because you find my question difficult to answer?”
His last words sounded strangely bitter.
“No! It’s fine. It’s not difficult at all. I have fond memories of the Dukedom.”
Although I couldn’t say there weren’t any bad memories.
It would be a lie if I said I didn’t miss the kind and gentle people at the Dukedom.
But I was anxious about his nonchalant attitude, despite the possibility of a monster lurking nearby.
He tapped my furrowed brows.
“Then that’s good. Go back now. And don’t do anything strange on your own.”
Cesar, his eyes as bright as the summer sun, warned me not to cause trouble.
“Come to me next time, Valerie.”
Because there would be no trace of the monster here then.
Amidst the dense bushes, a monster, engulfed in crimson flames, writhed, trying to escape.
Unlike a moment ago, when it had bared its sharp fangs, eyeing its prey, its body, turning to ash, rolled among the dirt.
But its horrific screams were inaudible, as if swallowed by the air.
Its silent struggle continued and then ceased, consumed by the flames. All that remained were scorched grass and a shimmering mana stone.
Cesar appeared after everything was settled. He glanced around and picked up the mana stone.
“It seems I killed it before it attacked. Why do you attract strange things, whether they’re humans or monsters?”
Cesar snapped his fingers, and the broken trees and the dented ground, damaged during the monster’s struggle, were restored.
He had been planning on cleaning up later, but the monster, drooling, had appeared as if waiting for Lily to leave.
Come to think of it, a large wolf-type monster had also targeted the small, almost invisible bird inside the carriage before.
“Is this some kind of constitution? That’s troublesome.”
Her power to eliminate monsters, her transformation from a bird to a human… Nothing about her was ordinary.
And the people surrounding her were all strange. From the Spirit Summoner who spouted nonsense to the shady Second Prince.
He clearly remembered Lily coming out of the Second Prince’s palace, so it wasn’t difficult to deduce that she was involved with him for some reason.
“Well, I suppose it was doomed from the moment you caught my attention.”
Crack.
He crushed the monster’s remains under his foot, and the sight reminded him of her slender neck. Her pale, delicate neck that seemed like it would snap if he squeezed it.
And her small stature, no bigger than a handful, just like when she was a bird. Her captivating, sparkling eyes that drove him crazy, all of it flashed through his mind.
Wondering when she would reveal her true hair and eye color, hidden by magic, Cesar thought of his timid Lily coming to his mansion.
He could go to her if she didn’t, but he hoped she would willingly enter his cage. It would feel like he had truly found her again.
He felt like he would only know what to do after she, his former possession, returned and whispered to him again.
“I don’t want to kill you, so I’ll either confine you or cherish you and keep you by my side.”
Cesar thought he should prepare valuable jewels and empty a guest room when he returned to the Dukedom.
“This is the most comfortable place after all.”
I sprawled on the bed and caught my breath.
Going out only seemed to bring me trouble. And I had to be prepared for the upcoming meeting with Prea.
“I didn’t refuse Cesar’s offer because I was also waiting for it, wasn’t I?”
If I apologized and he accepted me, staying by his side wouldn’t be so difficult.
Then, a question arose within me. What did I want after being accepted by him?
“Do I want Cesar to… like me?”
It would be wonderful if those gentle eyes looked at me with affection. But the chances of that happening were so slim that I could only hope for him to keep me by his side with the same affection he had for the bird.
‘He told me not to leave. He told me to stay by his side.’
Since he said that, he wouldn’t push me away. He wouldn’t question me suspiciously.
But I kept wanting more.
‘You’re definitely my bird, but you just seem like an ordinary woman before my eyes…’
Those words made me wish for him to accept not only my presence but also my feelings.
But to him, I was only Lily, his pet bird.
The feelings I had for him as a human were surely different from what he felt. Even if he saw me as a woman… it would be too greedy to wish for it to be love.
‘But since when did he cherish me so much?’
As a mere extra, all I did as a bird was flutter my head feathers cutely, greet my owner, rub my face against his hand, and chirp softly.
And people fell for that… Everyone I had met so far was completely smitten with Lily, the bird.
Lost in thought, I shook my head.
“So what if they’re smitten! It’s just like the feeling you have when you see a cute baby!”
The feelings I desired weren’t those fluffy, fairytale-like emotions. I wanted the kind of possessive obsession he only showed to Sylvia, directed solely at me.
“But obsession might be scary.”
Yes. Let’s exclude that.
I didn’t want to be in a dark romance with a possessive male lead and a runaway female lead.
After tossing and turning for a long time, I sighed, realizing it was all pointless. I still had a long way to go, and there were still many dangers lurking.
It wouldn’t be too late to think about this after avoiding my death flag. I would have to spend more time by Cesar’s side than Sylvia, who would eventually leave him for the Crown Prince, whether I liked it or not.
At least that would fulfill the promise I made to my lonely owner.
After we both achieved what we wanted, him alive and me not dead, then I would confess my feelings.
‘Whether he accepts them or not.’
It was a simple thought, but his words in the lush green forest kept coming back to me, making my heart pound relentlessly.
Like a persistent fever, the heat wouldn’t subside.