Chapter 30
The production team looked at each other, stunned. No one had expected this sudden “pig-catching incident,” let alone that it would completely shatter the interstellar audience’s beautiful image of pigs.
[I don’t accept this! I can’t accept this!!!]
[Sob, how could this be? @UnitedStarSystemConsulate, say something! This isn’t what the history books said!]
[Hahahaha, the United Star System’s history has been debunked by their own ancestors.]
[My pig would absolutely not look like that! I refuse to accept it!]
[I have so many pig toys at home… they look nothing like the real thing.]
[A scam! The biggest scam in history!]
[This pig doesn’t look much like our Beastman race.]
[Why are they killing another animal? Are pigs for eating too?]
[I don’t get what you United Star System people are crying about. All four-legged running animals are beautiful, okay!]
The United Star System’s Academy of Sciences, Department of Historical Research, was also in complete chaos.
“I must be dreaming…” the department head murmured, staring at the image of the pig in their compiled historical records—a tall, slender creature with soft white fur, wearing human clothes, looking fair and tender. Other than the large ears, it looked nothing like the real thing!
“…Sir… should we revise the textbooks?” his subordinate asked dryly.
It was too late for that. The image of the pig as a beloved childhood companion was already deeply ingrained in the public consciousness. How could they possibly change the official description now? This was, without a doubt, the biggest and most unexpected professional crisis of their careers.
Seeing the viewers lamenting their shattered childhoods, Xia Anran felt a pang of sympathy. “Everyone, please don’t be so sad. The pig you just saw was an adult. Newborn piglets are actually quite cute.”
“Can it talk?” Seeing the question in the comments, Xia Anran could only bite the bullet and tell the truth. “Pigs can’t talk, but they are considered quite intelligent among animals.”
Ji Minghui and Director Huang had already instructed the staff to find pictures and videos of Peppa Pig.
“Ahem, the story of a walking, talking pig who is a companion to children likely comes from this very popular cartoon. It’s a character created by humans in the image of a pig, called Peppa Pig. Many children do indeed love it very much.”
On the screen, the little pink pig was cutely performing various actions, wearing clothes and glasses just like a human.
[Ahhh, that’s our little pig!]
[So cute, so cute! This is what a pig should look like!]
[Hehe, a pretty little pig.]
[Ancient Earth humans were so lucky. Children had such cute things to watch.]
[If you look closely, it does look a little like the animal that just ran by.]
[Animal features, wears clothes, and can talk… isn’t that just our Beastman race? I don’t see you being any friendlier to us when you’re all screeching here.]
[Do Beastmen even deserve to be compared to our cute pig?]
[If you all looked this cute, I would firmly support peaceful coexistence with the Beastman race!]
[Beastmen are all very fierce…]
[Wait, stop arguing. So the guys at the Research Institute took a fictional character created by ancient humans and treated it as real history?]
[Research Institute: I don’t know, don’t ask me.]
[Currently playing dead.]
[United Star System Science Academy, History Dept.]: We will update the information regarding pigs in our records in a timely manner. We apologize to our citizens and thank Host Anran for her clarification!
Xia Anran was very understanding of the situation. “After all, sixteen thousand years have passed. It’s perfectly normal for errors to occur in the transmission of information. It’s like how we now piece together ancient Hua nation history through archaeology, and sometimes we also overturn previous understandings of the ancients.” If the ancients were to livestream for them, there would surely be a lot of similar comical situations.
The head of the history department breathed a sigh of relief. Host Anran is such a good person!
Soon, the audience’s interest was piqued by what she had just mentioned: archaeology. They began to ask in the comments how the people of Earth learned about the ancients. To the interstellar people, the people of Earth were the ancients, so they were very curious about how the ancients studied the ancients of the ancients.
The history scholars all took out their little notebooks and sat up straight, ready to absorb some wisdom from their ancestors.
“Our archaeology mainly involves the scientific investigation and excavation of ruins and relics buried underground, and then restoring ancient history as much as possible.”
Speaking of archaeology, Xia Anran became animated. One of her hobbies was watching various archaeology videos, especially the excavation of ancient tombs and various metaphysical stories, which she found particularly mysterious and interesting.
“Most of our understanding of ancient history comes from the excavation of ancient tombs. Many cultural relics have been unearthed from them, allowing us to understand what that era was like.”
“What’s an ancient tomb? Uh…”
For a rare moment, Xia Anran was at a loss for words. Could it be that the interstellar era doesn’t even have cemeteries? Have they achieved immortality?
“When people here pass away, their bodies or ashes are buried in the soil. That’s called a cemetery. Modern human cemeteries are relatively simple, but the ancients paid great attention to their arrangements after death. Their tombs were often built very lavishly and would be buried with many items. We supplement our understanding of ancient times by protectively excavating these tombs.”
[Burying your body in the ground after you die???]
[Ahhh, why bury it in the ground! It’s so weird to be stepped on!]
[Our soil seems to have nothing but bacteria.]
[I was just about to learn how ancient Earth studied history, and then I discovered I can’t learn it at all…]
[Leaving your personal belongings behind? No! I can’t accept that!]
[Raises hand! I’ll explain for Anran. After we pass away, we all choose to have our bodies particle-ized. Then, the particles are implanted into our own photon-computers. Finally, the photon-computer is sealed and no longer accessible to the outside, and is stored in a unified location on another planet.]
[Our personal belongings are also particle-ized and enter the photon-computer with us. The thought of leaving my things to someone else makes me want to die on the spot.]
The history experts who were preparing to learn from them were also staring at each other blankly. Not only did their current interstellar era not have tombs, but even if they did, they couldn’t study the tombs of ancient humans like Xia Anran from fifteen thousand years ago! Their ancestors were all far away on Earth. They couldn’t just fly a warship back to dig up their ancestors’ graves, could they? Besides, Earth had already been hit by a planetary explosion. It was hard to say if Earth even existed anymore. Who knew, their ancestors might be floating around in space right now.
Talking about archaeology, Xia Anran suddenly had a flash of inspiration on how to bring the topic, which had been started by the sudden appearance of a pig and had been straying further and further, back on track.
“The evolution of the Chinese characters that appeared earlier was also discovered and summarized by our archaeologists. Let me give you a closer look at our Hua nation’s script!”
The calligraphy in the video had been written overnight by several master calligraphers and then urgently transported by various means. Ji Minghui had created the video by scanning them. Xia Anran now held up the physical copies to the camera.
[Each one is different, but each one is also a little similar. So magical!]
[I don’t really get it, but they’re all very beautiful! So elegant!]
[Our script doesn’t seem to have evolved anymore. It’s just the last one.]
[The one at the very top is really kind of cute, haha.]
[Although I don’t understand the United Star System’s script, it’s really interesting to see the changes in the characters.]
[Rumor has it, the Empire is going to promote the United Star System’s script. Everyone has to learn it!]
[???]
[WHAT?!]
[Ahem, I can testify that it’s true. An official decree will be issued soon.]
[Has the Empire gone mad? It’s always been the United Star System learning the Empire’s script!]
[So satisfying! Satisfying! I’ve finally lived to see the day the Interstellar Empire learns our language!]
[Hahahaha, you guys go ahead and learn. Our United Star System script is very easy to learn [sinister smile]]
[I suggest you start learning now, hehe.]
“I hope one day the whole world will learn the Hua language. Our children now all learn Western languages. It’s just spoiling those countries!” Little Yan and Sister Wang whispered behind them.
Sister Wang deeply agreed. “Exactly! They should be the ones speaking our language!”
Director Huang slapped the heads of the two whispering women. “If you want that day to come sooner, then hurry up and get to work!”
…
In the Beastman royal palace, Jeqi was enjoying the drama, slapping the table and laughing. “Hahaha, so the Interstellar Empire also has a day where they have to suck up to the United Star System! The thought of that black-hearted Phileas acting all humble is so satisfying!”
Jeqi, who had previously been dismissive of Xia Anran’s livestream, was now a convert. He actively camped out, waiting for the stream to start. Ruoya had business today and wasn’t watching with him, so he had dragged Xuan Mo along.
Xuan Mo rubbed his ears, which were ringing from his emperor’s wild laughter, and silently moved a little further away. He said with a wooden face, “Your Majesty, we also need to build a good relationship with the United Star System. Have you already forgotten the meeting we had yesterday?”
Yesterday, after the three of them had devoured the portion of scallion pancake that Xuan Mo had won, they had been scolded in turn by the old men from the council and the research institute. Fortunately, during the scolding, Xuan Mo’s Horn Power had a sudden breakthrough, and he had jumped from the peak of Level 4, where he had been for years, to become the only Level 5 Horn Power user in the Beastman race! It was undoubtedly the work of that scallion pancake. But that single portion of scallion pancake had been eaten by them, with not even a crumb left. And then they were scolded even more harshly.
After the scolding, the Beastman council had immediately convened a top-level meeting. The chiefs of all the tribes were present. Although they had only watched Xia Anran’s livestream once, it had undoubtedly become a rapid sensation among both the Beastman high command and the ordinary citizens. The food that could cause a breakthrough in Horn Power and the primitive beasts living on ancient Earth held an unparalleled attraction for the Beastman race, especially the chief of the Claw-Dragonfly Tribe, who was grinning from ear to ear, holding a picture of the mantis from the stream. He had printed several copies and would stuff one into the hands of everyone he met, refusing to let them go until they had praised the majestic and heroic posture of their ancestor for a full five minutes.
In the end, the meeting had simply and crudely decided on a supreme policy of establishing good relations with the United Star System and had ordered Jeqi to personally apologize to them for the previous stationing of Beastman troops in their Fourth Planet’s star sector.
Jeqi: I can’t take it anymore, I want to flip the table! Where is our Beastman pride?! How can we bow our heads to humans!
Ruoya, watching her pouting brother from the side, whispered a reminder, “Scallion pancakes.”
Jeqi: …
Jeqi: “Okay, no problem! I’ll apologize right away!”
Bowing your head for scallion pancakes is not shameful! These people who have never tasted scallion pancakes will never understand!