Episode 38
“I can recommend a good doctor in this field, so take her to the hospital and get her checked out.”
“…Okay.”
“It might be expensive without health insurance, but regaining her memories is the priority. I’ll put in a good word for you.”
“Thanks.”
Joon-wan nodded, even though he had no intention of taking her to a hospital.
“Focus on that first, and put your feelings aside for now, alright?”
“Okay… Good luck with everything, brother.”
“Huh? Me? Yeah, alright.”
Joon-hyeok, who had seen him off to the entrance after their shocking mutual confessions, said,
“Um, Joon-wan. I’m a psychiatrist, you know.”
“Yeah.”
“Her amnesia… it could be a post-traumatic stress response, but temporary memory loss doesn’t happen as often as it’s portrayed in the media.”
He hesitated.
“Where do you keep your personal seal? She’s a good person, right?”
“I can judge character too! She’s not like that!”
Joon-wan bristled at his brother’s unexpected concern. He couldn’t receive proper advice while lying.
He couldn’t shake off the unsettling feeling as he drove to his parents’ house.
‘I like Hanin.’
His confession to his brother had made him realize his own feelings, but the realization only made him feel trapped.
‘Joon-wan, are you out of your mind?’
His heart was drawn to her, but it was an impossible love.
‘Would she even see me as a man, or… a potential partner?’
He recalled various folktales about supernatural beings forming relationships with humans, but those were just stories.
‘They say love transcends race, nationality, age, and everything else, but in the 21st century? And across species?’
He didn’t understand his own feelings, and he felt pathetic, yearning for someone who had no intention of reciprocating.
He decided to visit his mother while he was in Seoul.
“What’s going on? You look a bit thin.”
She said as soon as she saw him.
“I’ve been busy…”
“Is that so?”
“Mother, I’ll visit you more often. Even if I can’t be the filial son you want…”
“Why? What brought this on?”
He suddenly felt sorry for his mother, who was oblivious to the fact that both of her sons were involved in complicated relationships.
***
Driving back home after completing two tasks in one day, he resolved to suppress his feelings.
‘There’s no way this could work out. Even if she felt the same, no, she wouldn’t…’
It was an absurd notion.
‘What are you thinking? She’ll fly away to the heavens once she achieves her goal, and I have no power or right to stop her.’
He pressed his fingers against his throbbing temples.
‘Let’s get her back to the heavens before I get more attached.’
He didn’t want to be the woodcutter in the “Fairy and the Woodcutter.” Driven by that thought, he impulsively called Professor Myung.
[Joon-wan? How are you doing?]
“Hello, Professor. Welcome back from Germany.”
Their appointment was next week, but he couldn’t wait any longer.
Professor Myung was a pioneer in Korean folklore, a lifelong collector of books on ghosts and monsters, and a walking repository of tales and legends.
‘Why didn’t I ask for his help sooner?’
He knew more about Gangcheol than anyone else. It was strange that he hadn’t contacted him earlier.
He drove for two hours and arrived at Professor Myung’s house, carrying a gift basket he had bought at a rest stop.
His house was a traditional Korean house, over a hundred years old.
***
I sat at the table, working on the assignment Joon-wan had given me, and glanced at the clock on the wall.
‘Time flies so slowly.’
I was bored.
‘Hmm… Didn’t he say he would be back around this time?’
Time flowed at the same pace as it did a thousand years ago, but humans no longer relied on the sun or the rooster’s crow to tell time.
They used “clocks.” I had learned how to read a clock from him recently.
“It’s a useful skill to have.”
He had also made me read elementary school textbooks, saying it would be beneficial if I stayed here.
‘But it’s so boring…’
I pouted and glanced at my assignment. He had given me a book titled “Learning Korean History Through Comics” and asked me to write a book report.
‘Most of the stories in this book are wrong, by the way.’
He was a teacher, and he seemed to enjoy teaching me things. I played along, seeing how excited he got when I learned something new, but this wasn’t what I truly wanted.
‘Oh, I’m so bored.’
I was tired of watching television, the book he had given me was dull, and all I wanted was to spend time with Joon-wan.
‘When will he be back?’
I rested my head on the armrest of the sofa and stared at the front door.
‘I wish he would come back soon so we can talk and play, and then go out at night to help humans and other creatures.’
It was long past the time he had promised to return. I lay down on the sofa and rolled around restlessly.
‘I’m not completely carefree, you know.’
It had been days since we last went out to help people.
The sun was shining brightly, as if the rain had never happened. The earth’s energy felt strong and healthy, the soil as soft as a steamed potato.
But I was still a Gangcheol.
My initial reaction to becoming a Gangcheol had been despair. I had truly believed it would be better to die…
‘But now?’
Being with Joon-wan had taught me something.
Just as water remained water, whether it froze into ice or evaporated into steam, I was still myself, even as a Gangcheol.
Yes, I still felt compassion for all living beings.
The realization had given me a reason to keep living in this world. And it wouldn’t have been possible without Joon-wan.
If he hadn’t believed in me, believed that I could become a dragon again, my millennia of cultivation might have crumbled like a dream.
‘Of course, in human terms, he’s both the problem and the solution.’
But in this world, most humans only caused problems.
I was growing fond of Joon-wan, the one who tried to heal me. I didn’t know when it happened. I just realized it one day.
‘Come to think of it, I’ve always been fond of humans.’
Wasn’t that why I couldn’t leave this land?
‘I’ve always cherished the humans who loved me.’
I found fulfillment in caring for the humans who worshipped and treated me well.
Perhaps that was what held me back. And it might be true.
‘But why should being held back be a bad thing?’
I was a creature of the earth. I had never envied the dragons soaring through the heavens.
‘I can ascend whenever I want, so why shouldn’t I stay on earth as long as I desire?’
That was where the problem began.
Just a few months ago, I had genuinely wanted to ascend. Because no one in this land remembered or acknowledged me.
I was a forgotten god.
But now, there was a human who prayed for me. A human who acknowledged me. Even if it was just one person…
‘He’s not my priest, of course.’
And I knew it was temporary, until I ascended.
‘It’s just guilt.’
But paradoxically, having someone pray for my ascension had made me lose half of my motivation to leave.
‘I want to grant his wish, since he wants me to ascend…’
But I had lost my Yeouiju, the power to ascend, and I had become a Gangcheol, of all things.
Joon-wan seemed to believe that I would become a dragon again if I atoned for the flood I had caused, but accumulating those merits wasn’t easy.
‘What I’ve done is more like cleaning up a spill than accumulating merits.’
The damage caused by the month-long rain was my fault, and all I had done was repair it. How could that be considered true merit?
“Sigh…”
I sighed.
‘What if it takes a hundred years?’
It seemed that transforming from a Gangcheol back into a dragon, like ice melting back into water, would take much longer than humans imagined.
A hundred years wasn’t a long time for me. But humans were creatures who lived for less than a century.
‘But I can’t stay in this house forever, and if I tell Joon-wan, “I don’t really want to ascend now. I’ve decided to postpone it…” he’ll be disappointed.’
He was a kind human, and he would feel responsible, believing it was all his fault.
‘He’ll be disappointed, and we’ll have to part ways.’
And it could sever our connection.
‘If I choose to stay in this world… he’ll have no reason to pray for me anymore.’
Ironically, it was because of him that I wanted to stay longer.
‘Hmm…’
That was why I hesitated to tell him about my change of heart. I thought it would take a long time, but I pretended to be eager to ascend, deceiving him.
‘Hmm, I’ll have to tell him eventually, but not today, right?’
I had no excuse for my selfishness.
I liked Joon-wan. I was fond of him. And I wanted to stay in this human world with him.
‘But he’s late today. Why?’
He was taking longer than usual to return home. I considered calling him but decided against it.
“I won’t be able to answer my phone today, so send me a text message.”
He had said that before leaving this morning.
“When will you be back?”
I sent him a text message.
“Are you working late? Don’t you even have time to tell me you’ll be late?”
I stared at the wondrous communication device, but there was no reply. He had said he would be back after lunch, but it was already nightfall.
As I waited for him, I tossed the phone up and down, catching it repeatedly. And I realized how much I missed him.
‘I miss you. I’m bored.’
I had said that all creatures were bound by their form, hadn’t I?
‘This is no fun.’
But back then, I was still unfamiliar with human emotions, despite being in human form. I didn’t realize that my boredom was a symptom of love.
‘I wish he would come back soon.’
I thought I missed him because I was bored and lonely, not realizing it was because I was in love. I was experiencing the most enjoyable days of my long life, yet I felt this way.
After all, he was the one who had turned me into a Gangcheol, a mere human, a fledgling compared to me. It was understandable, wasn’t it?