Meeting Lu Jin’an’s deep, dark eyes, Gu Nianyi paused with the breakfast in her hand. Her fingers hooked around the plastic bag as she looked at him in confusion. “Huh? What’s wrong? Are Mom and Dad coming over? If they are, I’ll head back.”
In other words, she’d only return if her parents were there.
Lu Jin’an shifted his gaze away, staring straight ahead. “They’re not coming.”
“Oh, okay.” Gu Nianyi replied politely, thinking to herself that she couldn’t make heads or tails of it. What an odd thing to say out of nowhere.
Still, it distracted her. The gloom from that earlier text message had lifted.
She absently picked at her fingers. Her ring finger was bare—no wedding ring. The marriage certificate and diamond ring were gathering dust in a drawer.
Getting married had been the most impulsive thing she’d done in her twenty-four years.
She and Lu Jin’an had never discussed how they should live together. Everything had just been swept along by the vague notion of “going with the flow.”
Married in name, single in life. No interference, no obligations of married coupledom. It was paradise.
Gu Nianyi gazed out at the overcast sky. The weather service had issued a blue alert for heavy rain. Some colleagues were on duty, and in the past, she would have been there too. Director Cheng would have said, “Those who can, should do more. Fresh grads need the practice.”
Dark clouds hung low, as if she could reach out and touch them. But the rain refused to fall.
It wasn’t until familiar white poplars appeared ahead that the first raindrops finally came.
The rain quickly gathered, blurring the view.
The car pulled up downstairs. Gu Nianyi’s hand trembled slightly on the door handle. She couldn’t bring herself to press it.
She kept telling herself it would only be a few hours. She’d be back in the afternoon.
As she waged an internal battle, a firm voice came from behind her. “I’ve got you.”
Then his tall figure stepped out of the car, circled around the front, and opened the passenger door.
Lu Jin’an held an umbrella aloft, tilting it to shelter Gu Nianyi’s head.
Those three words from inside the car felt like a hallucination.
On this day of visiting her family home after marriage, rain pattered against the umbrella. If this were a literature exam, the reading comprehension question would surely ask what the rain foreshadowed.
Lakeview Garden was an old neighborhood of squat six-story buildings with no elevators. They still had to climb to the fourth floor on foot.
It wasn’t just inferior to Cypress View Pavilion—even compared to her rental in Moon Gazing Bay, it fell short.
She’d thought about moving to a place with an elevator, but every time the topic came up, it got shelved. The family’s funds were tight. The priority was buying a place for her younger brother, Gu Mingxuan.
Full payment, too—her parents didn’t want him saddled with a mortgage.
This was Lu Jin’an’s first step into Gu Nianyi’s world.
Rusty iron railings, stairwells plastered with ads, concrete steps chipped at the edges.
The girl beside him had been pursing her lips since they got off the highway, her face etched with worry. She hadn’t said a word.
Gu Nianyi pushed open the weathered door to the building block and looked up at the endless steps. As a kid, she’d counted them: twenty per flight.
She stepped onto the first one, each footfall like a stamp on her heart, on the twenty-four years of her past.
The stairwell was dim. Gu Nianyi remembered to warn Lu Jin’an. “Watch your step.”
They finally reached apartment 401. Gu Nianyi instinctively reached into her bag for her keys, but her hand froze midair. They’d installed a code lock, and she didn’t know the code.
For a moment, she had no idea what to do.
After a few seconds, she did what a guest would: raised her arm and rang the doorbell.
Lu Jin’an beat her to it, bending his long fingers to knock firmly on the reddish-brown door.
It took a while before the door opened from inside. It was Gu Nianyi’s mother, Li Huiling, who greeted them with a smile. “Yi Yi and Jin’an are back! I was just talking about you.”
Gu Nianyi mustered a gentle smile. “Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Dad.”
“Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Dad,” Lu Jin’an echoed. His expression was neutral, with just a touch more smile than usual—no more than that.
Standing together, they made a striking couple, perfectly matched in looks.
Li Huiling felt neutral about this son-in-law. She’d hoped Gu Nianyi would marry well enough, but not too well. Marry too well, and he’d look down on them.
For now, she had to keep up appearances.
Gu Nianyi rummaged through the shoe cabinet. She couldn’t find her usual slippers. After checking several layers, she spotted the spare shoe covers for guests in their usual spot.
She handed a pair to Lu Jin’an. “Sorry, they must have been put away in the bustle. You’ll have to make do with these.”
Lu Jin’an didn’t mind. “It’s fine.”
“These are more convenient,” he added, though he wasn’t sure why. The words were out before he could think.
Visiting the family home wasn’t as big a deal as the wedding—if there had been one. But with the vast gap between the families, Li Huiling couldn’t afford to slight Lu Jin’an. Soup was simmering on the stove. She bustled back to the kitchen, ignoring the scene at the door.
When Li Huiling emerged and saw the blue plastic bags on their feet, she wiped her hands on a paper towel and pulled new slippers from the top of the cabinet. “Look at me, I forgot. I bought new ones. Yours are ancient—time to replace them.”
The two pairs of red slippers reminded Gu Nianyi of the wedding house decor. Ruan Zhixu had handled it all: the same red theme, even the pajamas.
In the end, she hadn’t worn them.
Many families no longer made a fuss over these visits home. But the Lu Family didn’t want to shortchange Gu Nianyi, so they’d insisted on the full ritual.
And on gifts, naturally, the most expensive and lavish—to give full face to her side.
Grandpa Gu’s surgery had been arranged through Lu Jin’an’s connections with his mentor, so he knew a bit about it. “Grandpa, how’s your health?”
Grandpa Gu smiled back. “All good now. Thanks to Dr. Lu and Director Cui. How are your grandparents?”
Lu Jin’an gave a faint smile. “They’re doing well. They ask after you.”
Gu Nianyi was helping her mom with the dishes when she saw Lu Jin’an playing chess with Grandpa Gu. It struck her like the eighth wonder of the world.
“Grandpa, Grandma, how did you get up here?”
Even she, young as she was, got winded climbing four flights.
Grandma Gu joked, “We took it slow. Didn’t need help. If we raced, you young folks might not beat us old timers.”
Gu Nianyi laughed. “True, I’m the old one now.”
She felt more at ease with her grandparents around. After all, they’d raised her.
The family dinner didn’t include other relatives. Gu Mingxuan was absent for school, but everyone else was there. They sat without much fuss.
Gu Guohua and Li Huiling had done the cooking. They said politely, “Jin’an, it’s all home cooking. Hope it suits you.”
Lu Jin’an’s expression was impassive, his lips curving faintly. “It’s good.”
From their few interactions, Li Huiling knew he was quiet and aloof. He didn’t chat idly or flatter.
Most importantly, they were the ones reaching up.
The meal passed comfortably enough. Lu Jin’an’s demeanor stayed cool. The two of them ate quietly; the only sounds were spoons in soup and chopsticks picking food.
No one pushed alcohol.
But as the meal wound down, a little hiccup arose.
In Blue Mountain Town, no holiday or festival passed without dumplings—a steadfast tradition. This time was no different.
A plate of plump boiled dumplings steamed onto the table. Li Huiling set it in front of Lu Jin’an and Gu Nianyi. “Dig in—they’re fresh off the boil.”
The dumplings sent up wisps of steam, beckoning her.
Gu Nianyi reluctantly picked one up, bit into it with her head down. Her furrowed brow was hidden by her bangs. Her parents, across the table, didn’t notice.
But Lu Jin’an, right beside her, saw it all too clearly. Her fair cheeks seemed calm, but as she chewed, her brows twisted just like last night.
Only one thing could make her frown like that. Lu Jin’an spoke softly. “Yi Yi doesn’t eat celery. Are there other fillings?”
Li Huiling froze. “Didn’t you used to love celery?”
Not just her parents—even her grandparents didn’t know. Gu Nianyi kept everything bottled up.
Lu Jin’an’s words stunned her too. With no time to think, she chimed in. “My tastes changed. It’s fine—I can eat it. Don’t waste it.”
Mindful of the family at the table, she couldn’t question how Lu Jin’an knew. By rights, only Ming Yue knew she hated celery.
“I like it. Give them all to me.” Lu Jin’an’s tone brooked no argument. He claimed the rest of the dumplings.
The minor incident dissolved under his handling. He’d even set up an image of devoted newlyweds.
Two birds with one stone.
Free from the celery stench, Gu Nianyi was relieved. She tugged Lu Jin’an’s sleeve and whispered, “Thanks.”
Lu Jin’an’s lips curved slightly. “No problem.”
Grandpa and Grandma Gu needed their afternoon nap. Gu Nianyi and Lu Jin’an saw them off.
The shower outside had stopped. The ground was carpeted in yellow fallen leaves. The sky was a brilliant blue, washed clean. Poplars rustled; a single leaf spiraled down.
Autumn was on its way.
Lu Jin’an was a man of few words but genuine warmth. Grandpa and Grandma Gu took to him immediately.
Gu Nianyi was content with this marriage. No need to force conversation or build feelings. Everyone had their own lives. It was good.
But some things, when they come, will come. What must arrive arrives, sooner or later.
Topics absent from the Lu household were Li Huiling’s favorites, ever since Gu Nianyi’s junior year in college. Whenever she was home, the nagging began: when would she marry? Let Mom set her up.
Li Huiling brought it up casually. “Jin’an, when do you two plan to have kids?”
No one could fault her mom for asking. Marriage naturally led to children.
They’d never discussed kids. They each had their own quilt—what a remote notion.
Gu Nianyi turned her head to look at Lu Jin’an, eager to hear his answer. His brow bones protruded prominently, his nose bridge high and straight, his expression showing not the slightest softening.
After a few seconds of silence, his thin lips parted lightly. “Everything depends on Yi Yi. Whenever she wants, or never in this lifetime—it’s all up to her.”
The first half of his response had already been perfect, but he just had to add that last sentence. Perhaps he didn’t want to have children with her either.
Li Huiling refused to give up. “And your parents? Aren’t they urging you?”
Lu Jin’an turned to look at Gu Nianyi. “My mom and dad are leaving it up to Yi Yi too. They even said she’s too young and there’s no rush—they told me to wait five years before thinking about it.”
It was as if he’d prepared his words in advance, shutting down every possible objection with a single statement.
Li Huiling had no choice but to go along with it. “You’re both still building your careers. It’s fine to wait a bit.”
Gu Guohua had worked the night shift the previous day, and Li Huiling went to wash the dishes. In an instant, the living room was left with just the two of them.
They looked at each other in silence, the quiet growing strangely heavy.
“Thank you, Lu Jin’an,” Gu Nianyi said solemnly.
Whatever his reasons, his full respect for her choice was more than enough.
Lu Jin’an replied, “It’s not entirely for you. I don’t want any either.”
He paused, then added, “A child should be born into a home filled with love.”
The implication was clear: there was no love between them, so there was no need for a child.
Just as she’d thought.
On the matter of children, at least, their thinking aligned.
Gu Nianyi had always approached the idea of having and raising kids with great caution, shaped by her childhood experiences.
With no one else around, their interactions were even scarcer—everyone knew they were strangers bound by marriage, with no need for pretense.
Li Huiling finished washing the dishes and came out. “Yi Yi, there’s something I can’t figure out. Come help me take a look.”
The two of them were each absorbed in their phones, completely ignoring their daughter. It made her seethe with frustration.
“Sure.” Gu Nianyi pointed Lu Jin’an in a direction. “If you’re tired, you can rest in my room.”
They had only shared a bed once, and with no other options in the house, her room was the best choice.
She had no secrets—she wasn’t afraid of him seeing anything.
The master bedroom was the only one facing south. Sunlight filtered through gaps in the dark clouds. Li Huiling sat on the edge of the bed while Gu Nianyi stood.
One in light, the other in shadow.
Li Huiling sighed. “You’ve been married to Lu Jin’an for a month now. Why do you still treat each other like strangers?”
Gu Nianyi answered calmly, “We are strangers.”
Li Huiling was already holding back her anger, and her voice rose. “That’s how it was in our generation—we got married after one meeting. If he doesn’t take the initiative, you should. Hurry up and have a child. Families like theirs definitely want a boy to secure your position.”
The preference for sons over daughters had loomed over her like a mountain her whole life—she’d heard it and felt it from childhood onward.
She’d thought she’d grown numb to it, but hearing it still made her heart ache, like a needle piercing through, an uncontrollable pain.
Gu Nianyi lowered her head, staring at the yellowed tiles on the floor. “He’s so busy he doesn’t have time. Besides, how can we have a child without any feelings between us?”
Li Huiling was exasperated, frustrated that her daughter wasn’t living up to her potential. “All those years of schooling wasted. No matter how busy, how could he have no time to rest? You don’t need feelings to have a child—you were born that way, weren’t you?”
Gu Nianyi desperately wanted to ask: Then what am I?
A baby-making machine? Or something dispensable?
Because she’d been born without love, she’d never received any affection.
Because she was a girl, she’d never gotten the favoritism.
Was that it? Was that how it was?
Some questions didn’t need answers—the truth was already written in years of actions and words.
Gu Nianyi rubbed her slightly sore nose. “I know what I’m doing.”
The old apartment had poor soundproofing, so mother and daughter deliberately kept their voices low. On the surface, it seemed like Li Huiling was doing all the talking, but Gu Nianyi’s responses hid a quiet defiance.
Li Huiling pressed on. “What do you know? You’ve worried me since you were little. You’re nothing like your brother, so sensible and obedient.”
She was about to say more when there was a sudden knock at the door.
With permission to enter, Lu Jin’an pushed it open. “There’s an emergency surgery. I need to head out soon.”
“Alright, we’re wrapping up.” Li Huiling switched to a smile. “Yi Yi, I packed away some of your things. Come see what to do with them?”
“I’ll go take a look.”
The room was still the same room, but it had become a storage space.
Her books, her Classmate Album, and other small mementos from junior and senior high—all packed into a single box.
It sat alone in the corner of the wall, waiting for its owner to decide its fate.
Just like her. As a child, after her brother was born, she’d been shuttled off to her grandparents to raise. When she was five or six and no one was left to watch him, they’d brought her back—to help care for him.
Now that she was grown and marrying someone, it was just like most girls in town.
Her feelings toward her mother were complicated. There was love, but not much of it. And her father? Was there even a father in this home?
The appliances and furniture were all new ones she’d bought. Everywhere she looked were things she’d replaced, and now she felt like the outsider.
Without hesitation, Gu Nianyi picked up the box. “Mom, we’re leaving.”
“Let me.” Lu Jin’an took it from her hands.
The box was heavy, as if it held the entire first half of Gu Nianyi’s life.
The three of them went downstairs together. Lu Jin’an was tall with long legs and walked quickly.
“Take what I said to heart,” Li Huiling nagged, then handed over a plastic bag. “This is your favorite—eat it on the road.”
It was the classic routine: a slap followed by a sweet date. Gu Nianyi was long used to it.
Downstairs, a few neighbors were returning from their evening stroll and chatted with Li Huiling.
“Is that your son-in-law? He’s so handsome.”
“Yi Yi’s got it good—married a fine husband.”
“That car’s got to be expensive. The bride price must’ve been hefty.”
“Now Mingxuan’s bride price and house are taken care of.”
The neighbors’ voices faded into the distance. Gu Nianyi just wanted to get away from there as quickly as possible.
Before leaving, Gu Nianyi went to see her grandparents and couldn’t help reminding them, “Grandpa, make sure to get your regular checkups. Grandma, you need to go for your physical. And be careful walking—you can’t afford another fall.”
Grandpa Gu chuckled. “Look at her, so young and already nagging like an old woman.”
Grandma Gu pulled Lu Jin’an aside. “Jin’an, I don’t have much right to say this, but Grandma still asks you: treat Yi Yi well. This child…”
Putting himself in her shoes, Lu Jin’an promised solemnly, “I will. Don’t worry.”
Over on the other side, Grandpa Gu spoke to Gu Nianyi. “Yi Yi, this is the dowry from your grandparents. The PIN is your birthday.”
It was a red bankbook wrapped in a red plastic bag.
“I don’t want it—I have money. Keep it for yourselves.”
“Just take it.”
Unable to refuse the elders’ insistence, Gu Nianyi accepted it.
Gu Nianyi gazed into the rearview mirror at the figures growing smaller and smaller. Her grandparents waved goodbye until they vanished from sight.
She could barely make out the waving shapes.
She didn’t want to look back, yet she couldn’t help it.
Gu Nianyi clutched the red bankbook. Inside the plastic bag was a red handkerchief, wrapped tightly around it.
The balance read 【13578.21 yuan.】
It was an odd amount, scraped together over a lifetime of saving.
All given to her.
Suddenly, Gu Nianyi could no longer hold back her tears. They slid down her cheeks.
She quickly turned her head toward the window, trying to stifle her sobs so Lu Jin’an wouldn’t hear.
One by one, the teardrops hit the bankbook, leaving transparent stains.
A heavy rain poured down inside her heart.
Damp. Soaking through completely.
Gu Nianyi fumbled for a tissue—this wasn’t her car, and she couldn’t find any.
The tears kept flowing, blurring her vision. Suddenly, a hand with distinct knuckles appeared before her.
In it was a box of tissues.