Chu Yunge heard that Empress Dowager Zheng had been attacked, so she sent Jimo to ask among the Yan people if anyone was skilled at setting mechanisms and traps. She also asked if they had any potent drugs, the kind that could knock out even an elephant.
The answer she received was affirmative, because Yan Feng had conveyed all her requests.
Even Master Yan Mengjun was an expert in mechanisms. He could always set traps with the simplest tools at the fastest speed.
As for the drug potent enough to knock out an elephant, it was miraculously provided by the young Chi Baobao.
Chi Baobao had been selected not just for his cleverness and performance skills, but also because he was a master poison-maker.
However, he only knew how to administer poison, not how to detoxify it. Moreover, the poisons he created generally could not be undone by ordinary people.
Chi Haohao studied medicine and excelled at detoxification. Only he could neutralize Chi Baobao’s poisons.
The two boys had a close relationship. Through their poisoning and detoxifying partnership, they became inseparable—closer than blood brothers, despite having no blood ties.
The three of them set out, aided by a few Yan people. Chu Yunge entrusted the task entirely to them, and they prepared the traps in the sleeping palace.
A turtle-in-a-jar capture thus began.
Those trusted and heavily employed by the Chu Emperor were no simple characters. Unfortunately for them, the opponents they faced were no simpletons either.
They had undergone extensive training and were immune to ordinary anesthetics. But they encountered a drug that could fell an elephant.
They got off to a bad start. Less than a quarter-hour after arriving at the Princess Mansion, a large group of them collapsed.
The rest were left to the guards and hidden guards.
The guards and hidden guards had been punished for their previous failure to protect adequately. Those who received beatings got beaten, while the able-bodied ones went to the rescue. The remaining ones had not fully recovered and were operating at reduced capacity.
But for a turtle-in-a-jar scenario, they managed.
They did not know the truth. Seeing the assailants’ disguises, they assumed it was Zhao Zheng coming for revenge. Old grudges and new hatreds fueled their extra effort.
The assailants retreated step by step. When Chu Yunge and Yan Feng arrived, they did not intervene and simply observed from the side.
One person jumped down from the sleeping palace window and came to Chu Yunge’s side, crying piteously. “Your Highness, you scared me to death.”
With the sleeping palace set as the trap, Chu Yunge could not be there herself, so someone had to stand in for her. In the end, Du Ruo volunteered to take Chu Yunge’s place rather than letting Jimo do it. She put on Chu Yunge’s clothes to impersonate her.
Chu Yunge had agreed and even deliberately leaked a bit of information to her, to see what she would do.
Unexpectedly, though terribly frightened, Du Ruo did not tip off the assailants. The turtle-in-a-jar plan proceeded smoothly.
“It’s fine now.”
Chu Yunge patted Du Ruo’s shoulder. Du Ruo was overcome with gratitude and teary-eyed. She wanted to say something more, but people arrived from the back garden.
The arrivals were Yan Mengjun and his group, just a portion of them as previously agreed.
“No problem?”
“No problem. No casualties. Your Highness need not worry.”
The Yan people had indeed come under attack, but it was no major issue. No one was seriously injured or killed.
Yan Mengjun thought that if they could not even handle an assault like this, they would have no face left to continue serving Her Highness.
Especially since they had eaten their fill during the day, with fragrant noodles waiting at night. They were not going into battle hungry and empty-stomached.
Chu Yunge nodded. “That’s good.”
Then she turned to the guards. “The ones sent to rescue the Empress Dowager still haven’t returned, right?”
“Yes.” The guards were not fools; they also found it suspicious.
Chu Yunge let out a soft sneer and looked toward Chi Baobao and Chi Haohao behind Yan Mengjun.
Chi Baobao and Chi Haohao’s eyes sparkled brightly, like puppies waiting to be called by their master. The moment they caught Chu Yunge’s gaze, they trotted forward excitedly.
“Your Highness.”
Yan Feng thought they were just short of wagging their tails.
Indeed, anyone who came into contact with Her Highness ended up liking her.
These two brats were usually quite mischievous, but they became obedient around Her Highness.
“Was the task I assigned you completed? Were you injured?”
The moment Chi Baobao and Chi Haohao heard this, they bared their teeth in grins. “No injuries. Completed.”
Before leaving the sleeping palace to find Yan Feng, Chu Yunge had given Chi Baobao and Chi Haohao a secret mission: go to Empress Dowager Zheng.
“Your Highness, we confirmed it. The attack on Empress Dowager Zheng was fake. We took the opportunity to injure her and pierced her right hand.”
Chu Yunge had figured that if it was an “attack,” there had to be some injury at least.
She wanted them to know that plotting against her would not end well. If she suffered one part pain, they must suffer two.
After Empress Dowager Zheng had bitten her yet still helped the Chu Emperor scheme against her, Chu Yunge decided to teach her another lesson—one she would never forget.
Chi Baobao had accomplished this goal for her.
“Your Highness said to let her bleed as much as possible without killing her. This subordinate coated the arrow with a special poison—one that would make her bleed profusely.”
Chu Yunge’s eyes lit up. “How are you two so capable?”
She had only suggested that it would be best if Empress Dowager Zheng suffered excessive blood loss and got a taste of her own medicine. She had not expected them to actually pull it off.
“In the future, Your Highness, feel free to entrust any task to us.”
Chi Baobao and Chi Haohao were also thrilled. Before they set out, Her Highness had urged them to prioritize safety above all, telling them to return if they could not complete the mission.
Now, the Princess’s first words upon seeing them were to ask if they were injured.
To be trusted, valued, and have one’s life cherished—this was the feeling?
They liked it.
No wonder Brother Yan Feng said the Princess was great. She really was wonderful.
Chi Haohao added gently, “That’s right. We’re not afraid of hardship, fatigue, or filth. We don’t even fear the most foul stench.”
Hearing this, Chu Yunge thought of something. “Stench? Filth? Did your target lose control of her bowels?”
Jimo had said she administered a laxative, and it had worked.
Chi Baobao and Chi Haohao nodded.
While faking the attack on the road, Empress Dowager Zheng had already felt her stomach ache. Helpless, she endured it. Unexpectedly, she ended up truly injured. She screamed in agony, then suffered uncontrollable diarrhea and shat her pants right there.
The sound was impossible to ignore. It stunned the fake attackers and confused the defenders.
After the auditory assault came the olfactory one. The stench was so unbearable that the fake attackers retreated.
The remaining guards and hidden guards twisted their faces in disgust, their hearts turning cold.
Empress Dowager Zheng suffered terribly and was scared out of her wits.
She had only planned a fake attack, but a real one occurred, frightening her badly.
And that was not all—her hand wound would not stop bleeding…
Under this dual torment of body and mind, she could no longer keep up the act and return to the palace. Instead, she sought help from an imperial physician nearby.
No need to mention the unlucky imperial physician, who had to face that horrendous stench while constantly fearing he might be silenced.
Though Jin Yun cleverly endured the smell and changed Empress Dowager Zheng’s pants to preserve her reputation, the continuous soiling could not be hidden from her close servants and the imperial physician.
Jin Yun… what a talent. Those who rose to prominence were indeed no simpletons.
Their performance of “The Empress Dowager’s Beloved Eunuch,” though reeking, was truly moving. How many in this world could go to such lengths as Jin Yun?
Chu Yunge imagined Empress Dowager Zheng stinking to high heaven, her life hanging by a thread… She had finally vented her anger.
She had struck back at Empress Dowager Zheng and the Chu Emperor once, killing the chicken to warn the monkey.
Empress Dowager Zheng was the chicken, and the Chu Emperor was the monkey.