Seven years ago, on a summer weekend evening.
Before heading abroad, Wei Yuan had invited all his close friends from school to a farewell party.
Jiang Zao had prepared to confess her feelings to him.
She had a gift and a farewell letter ready, hoping to steal a quiet moment with him amid the raucous gathering. She wanted to calmly and smoothly tell him how she’d liked him silently from her first year of high school through her sophomore year in college—even during those couple of years when he’d already graduated and left campus. His figure in that school uniform had lingered in her mind, sustaining her all the way to the end of Gaokao.
She wanted to tell him how many times she’d secretly trailed his retreating back with her gaze.
She wanted to tell him that aspiring to his excellence had made her a better person.
She wanted to tell him that every scrap of kindness he’d shown her had been like life-giving oxygen amid the suffocating years of her youth.
Wei Yuan was good to everyone around him—she knew that—but she still wanted to take one final gamble. She wanted to bet that she held just a tiny bit of special place in his heart.
She wanted to bet that the smile he gave her held some unique warmth no one else had glimpsed.
Jiang Zao had rehearsed those words in her head countless times. They were so familiar she could recite them backward without a hitch.
After several rounds of drinks, the atmosphere in the private room reached fever pitch.
These popular guys from school mostly ran in the same circles, and tonight’s stars weren’t just the guest of honor, Wei Yuan. There were also handsome seniors like Xie Lisheng, who rarely showed up on campus during his senior year. The girls’ eager expressions were impossible to hide, their budding crushes thickening the air with perfume.
By sheer coincidence, Jiang Zao’s bag sat right next to Xie Lisheng. She waited and waited, but she couldn’t stay put any longer. She slipped back to her seat, unzipped her backpack with trembling hands, and pulled out the wrapped gift and envelope.
Just then, as she turned her head, her eyes met those of Xie Lisheng, who was lounging in the single armchair nearby.
He had a lazy look about his brows and eyes, as if he’d merely glanced up from his phone and caught her in the act.
If they were ranking looks in Wei Yuan’s social circle, Xie Lisheng took the crown. He was infamous at the Information Science Academy too.
Not only did he come from money, but he had model-tier looks and had topped the department rankings for all four years. Now he was gearing up to launch his own startup.
But he lacked Wei Yuan’s popularity, and his posture right then—curled up alone on the sofa amid the party—said it all. No one wanted to talk to him, yet he wore this smug expression like he wouldn’t waste time on a bunch of noobs anyway.
His temper was too volatile, his tongue too sharp. No amount of handsomeness could make up for that.
Ever since her freshman year, when she’d joined the Student Council and started working alongside Wei Yuan, Jiang Zao had seized every chance to linger near him. Each time, Xie Lisheng’s casual, piercing scrutiny had spooked her.
She’d always suspected he knew exactly what was up, but he was just too lazy to get involved.
That suspicion was confirmed in an instant, as Xie Lisheng arched a brow.
Jiang Zao’s heart lurched. She nearly dropped everything back into her bag.
He’d seen through her? Sh-should she say something?
Xie Lisheng looked away and went back to his phone, letting out a scoff.
It was a blatant, mocking sound, as if he’d already dissected her intentions from top to bottom.
Jiang Zao’s cheeks burned. She shoved the gift back into her bag and zipped it shut. For some inexplicable reason, she no longer wanted to follow through exactly as he’d pegged her.
Less than two minutes later, he pocketed his phone and left. Only then could Jiang Zao breathe easy and fish out the gift again.
But from the moment Xie Lisheng had looked at her, events began spiraling away from Jiang Zao’s script.
She clutched her things and moved to pull Wei Yuan aside for a private word when the lights cut out. A stylish senior swept in holding an exquisite cake, making a beeline for him.
The room erupted in cheers and catcalls. Jiang Zao stood frozen just one step away, watching it all unfold.
The senior’s radiant smile, the way she boldly leaned in close, the sparkling glints from her gemstone bracelet as she smeared frosting on his face—each detail stabbed at Jiang Zao’s eyes.
She couldn’t move a muscle.
Until Wei Yuan spotted her. He approached with a small slice of cake in hand.
Cream smeared his face, and his smile always made his features seem especially striking. He bent down to whisper, “Having fun?”
“They wrecked most of the cake, but luckily a bit of the untouched part is left.”
Jiang Zao gripped the gift tightly behind her back. Staring at his usual easygoing expression, her lips trembled uncontrollably.
~~~
She bolted.
Mumbling some excuse, she fled the private room. Outside, she gulped air like a fish tossed back into the water. Relief mingled with regret.
Even when Wei Yuan had given her an opening, she hadn’t been able to spit it out.
Why was she so useless? Was saying it really that hard?
Jiang Zao pressed her forehead against the wall, staring at the gift wrapping now damp with her sweaty palms. Her breaths came in ragged gasps.
It wasn’t that she couldn’t say the words. It was that she had no confidence he wouldn’t turn her down.
A faint whiff of cigarette smoke drifted over. With red-rimmed eyes, she turned—and once again locked gazes with those indifferent, fox-like eyes.
Xie Lisheng didn’t know how long he had been leaning against the window. When he saw her glaring at him, he calmly pinched out his cigarette. With a glance at the item in her hand from the corner of his eye, he revealed a mocking expression that was right on cue.
Jiang Zao awkwardly shoved the thing into her bag, her face burning with embarrassment.
The clamor from the KTV private room faintly seeped out. The atmosphere in the corridor settled into a tense standoff—one that both of them clearly understood but neither was willing to call out.
Xie Lisheng toyed with the extinguished slim cigarette between his fingers while staring at his phone in his other hand. Suddenly, he said, “You can glare a hole through me, but it won’t make a difference.”
She froze for a moment, then looked away. She hurriedly slung her backpack over her shoulder, deciding to scrap the confession and just leave.
But then the other man spoke up again.
Xie Lisheng’s voice was very soft, like a casual aside whispered under his breath, but she heard every word crystal clear.
“Not even brave enough to say a single word—what could you possibly achieve?”
His tone was teasing yet laced with contempt. It cut straight to the bone.
~~~
Xie Lisheng’s words turned out to be prophetic. In the years that followed, she didn’t accomplish much of anything.
She extended her undergrad studies and stayed on at the school, failed the Postgraduate Entrance Exam, and dragged herself through exhausting part-time jobs. Every time her life hit a low point, those words would come back to haunt her.
Even though she knew her circumstances had nothing to do with anything anyone had ever said to her, she still couldn’t help treating his remark like some kind of curse.
Jiang Zao had known all along that Xie Lisheng didn’t like her. He even looked down on her.
The good news was, she felt exactly the same way about him now.
She pulled herself out of the memory, wiped the water she’d coughed up from her lips, blinked, and let her expression turn icy. “…Does it matter to you whether I fall in love easily?”
He seemed caught off guard by her comeback. Xie Lisheng gave her a long, meaningful look before waving over the server.
“Of course.” He drawled it out lazily, his attitude ambiguous. “After all, we’re on a blind date.”
Jiang Zao turned her head to stare out at the view, her face twisted like she’d just run into a ghost. “…”
Xie Lisheng ordered a few of his favorite dishes from the server. He showed no displeasure at her attitude whatsoever. If anything, the more she made it clear she couldn’t stand him, the more determined he seemed to drag out this blind date and really get under her skin.
The server poured them each a cup of freshly brewed flower tea and departed.
Xie Lisheng glanced at the new message on his phone, closed the screen, and struck a pretentious pose. “Need me to give you the rundown on myself again?”
“No need to bother.”
Jiang Zao shut that down, set her teacup aside, and dragged her gaze away from the face across from her—one far handsomer than anything on her checklist. She swallowed the rest of what she’d been about to say.
“Sorry, you’re not my type.”
Xie Lisheng paused halfway through lifting his teacup. “Not your type how?”
Jiang Zao smiled. “Every way imaginable.”
“Not even close. Especially your looks.”
Xie Lisheng found the whole thing ridiculous. “You think I’m ugly?”
She could feel the weight of his intense presence bearing down on her, but she mustered her courage and shot back, “I never said that.”
Xie Lisheng: “…”
“Been a while, Junior Sister. Your tongue’s gotten a lot sharper.”
He took a sip of tea, his eyes flickering. “If the matchmaker hadn’t mentioned you’re still in school, I’d be asking where you landed a job.”
With that, Xie Lisheng tilted his head as if dredging up the memory. Then he put on a show of confusion and asked, “I remember you were in the undergrad class of 2020. Your master’s should be finished by now. Still in school? Going for a PhD?”
The jab hit her sore spot without warning. Jiang Zao’s smile crumbled. “…I didn’t pass on the first try.”
“Graduating this year.”
“Twice already…” He mulled it over, not quite getting it but nodding respectfully all the same. “Pretty inspiring.”
To Jiang Zao, those four words sounded like nothing but provocation.
Was he saying no one could be dumb enough to spend a full two or three years prepping for grad school in their own major? Was that it?