Chapter 44
◎Today We Are Drenched in the Same Rain◎
After school started, Wani began her second year at the county high school. Although her life hadn’t changed much, Wani was very grateful that her family had ultimately supported her in attending high school.
The county middle school cost fifteen yuan per semester, and the monthly food expense was six yuan and fifty cents. This wasn’t much money, barely enough to maintain a simple and warm level of subsistence. In addition, she would go to the mountains to dig for medicinal herbs during the winter and summer vacations, which was an extra subsidy. She had already memorized those medicinal herbs by heart.
Su Huimin and Yu Juanfang gave Juexiao twelve yuan for his monthly food expenses, which was considered a higher level in his class. Su Juexiao would sometimes secretly subsidize Wani with a little money and grain, and he would also bring her a portion of any good food.
Since starting the second year of high school, several classmates in the class had quietly developed unusual situations. Although it couldn’t be called a proper relationship, a hazy emotion was stirring in the chests of these not-yet-mature young people.
Wani was not very interested in this aspect, and no boy would pay too much attention to a rural girl like her, who always wore plain cloth clothes and had an ordinary appearance.
And most of Wani’s energy was focused on studying mathematics, physics, and chemistry. Although the school was noisy now, with half a day of classes and half a day of labor in the fields, and no exams, she still wanted to learn as much as she could.
But high school life was mostly collective activities. Her personality was quiet and she didn’t like to talk, so her popularity in the class was not very good. At the beginning of this semester, the class had to re-elect class cadres, and students who had not been on the class committee before were especially encouraged to try.
Wani finally mustered up the courage to stand on the podium, but her throat felt as if it were stuffed with cotton. The speech she had prepared was on the tip of her tongue, but she just couldn’t get it out. “I… I…”
A few suppressed snickers came from below the podium, and everyone’s eyes were on her.
She was like a string puppet nailed to the spot, feeling her hands and feet trembling, on the verge of collapsing. Suddenly, in the crowd, she saw Juexiao’s gaze.
His gaze was calm, with no mockery in his eyes. He just mouthed two words: “You can do it.”
Wani’s eyes instantly became moist. Just when everyone thought she was going to run away in defeat, Wani took a deep breath and straightened her back. “I am Su Wani, and the position I want to run for is the study committee member…”
She mustered up the courage to raise her head, her gaze sweeping over the surprised or puzzled faces below the stage, her voice gradually becoming firm. “Please give me a chance.”
The classroom was so quiet that the sound of sparrows flapping their wings outside the window could be heard. A few seconds later, someone took the lead in applauding, and the applause went from sporadic to dense.
“Do you agree to have classmate Su Wani serve as our class’s study committee member?” the teacher asked.
“I agree.” Su Juexiao was the first to raise his hand.
With the class monitor, Su Juexiao, taking the lead in raising his hand, other people in the crowd also raised their hands one after another. “I agree too!”
“I agree.”
“Agree.”
In the end, Wani was elected as the study committee member with a large majority of votes. She looked up at the gazes of the students below and found that most of them were friendly and peaceful, without the mockery and ridicule she had imagined.
She suddenly realized that when she truly took that step, those gazes that had made her uneasy were actually the tiny glimmers of light that pushed her forward.
…
The continuous rainy days made the atmosphere in the hospital room stuffy and humid.
The middle-aged woman lying on the bed was emaciated. Her once plump body was now as thin as a dry stick. Her once dark black hair was dry and messy, and her chapped lips were bleeding. All the signs indicated that this woman was on the verge of death.
Zhou Shunian squatted by the bed, feeding Wang Chunlan liquid food from a bowl. “Mom, take another sip.”
Hearing her son’s words, Wang Chunlan struggled to support herself and moved closer to the bowl. But as soon as she opened her mouth, the things she had just drunk were uncontrollably vomited out. “Ugh…”
With this vomit, the clothes, the bedsheets, and the floor were all covered in vomit. The room was a mess, and the air was filled with the sour smell of vomit.
“Don’t… don’t worry about me. It’s dirty… It’s been hard on you to be here every day.”
Zhou Shunian quickly pushed the bowl aside and patted his mother’s back comfortingly. “It’s okay. If you don’t want to drink, then don’t.”
Wang Chunlan forced a pale smile. She reached out to touch her son’s face. “Son, it’s so good. I can see you again.”
He wiped away his tears and held her hand to his face. “When you get better, I won’t go anywhere. I’ll stay at home with you every day.”
Zhou Shunian got up and took a rag to clean up the mess on the floor.
“Auntie, Brother Shunian.”
“It’s Tangtang and Juesheng?” Wang Chunlan’s gaze fell on the two children at the door.
“Auntie, we heard you were sick and wanted to come and see you.” Tangtang’s tears were almost uncontrollably gushing out. She still remembered how Auntie Wang had brewed brown sugar water and red bean congee for her, and had cared for her meticulously. She possessed all the virtues of a rural woman of that era—enthusiastic, cheerful, hardworking, capable, and simple. But fate had been so unfair to this woman.
Tangtang forced herself not to let her tears fall and placed the flowers she was holding on her bedside table. “My brother and I chose this pot of lilies. We hope you will be healthy and live a long life.”
“Auntie, can you smell the fragrance of the flowers?”
The elegant fragrance of the lilies diluted the smell of disinfectant in the hospital room. Honey-colored pollen was condensed on the goose-yellow stamens. Smelling this rich fragrance, one could almost see the damp green grass, the moist morning mist, and the sweetness of honey. A weak smile appeared on Wang Chunlan’s face. “I can smell it. What fragrant lilies.”
“Mom, when you get better, I’ll take you to see the mountains and fields full of lilies.”
“Alright… I’ll wait for the day I get better.” Wang Chunlan was still smiling kindly, but her voice was as thin as a thread, as if she had used up her last bit of strength. Her hand also fell from Zhou Shunian’s palm. “It’s just… son, I’m so tired now. I want to sleep for a while.”
Zhou Shunian’s heart trembled. “Mom!”
“Auntie!” Tangtang’s tears fell onto the bedsheets with a plop.
Su Juesheng’s lips trembled, and his throat felt as if it were blocked, unable to make a sound.
After a long while, Wang Chunlan finally opened her eyes and looked at the three children by her bed. “Look at you all so nervous… I just fell asleep.”
Seeing Wang Chunlan open her eyes again, Zhou Shunian, Tangtang, and Su Juesheng all breathed a sigh of relief.
After Tangtang and Juesheng left, Zhou Tingchang also came to the hospital room. He said to his son, “Your mother has to stay in the hospital for a while longer. You should go back and pack some more clothes for her.”
During this period, Zhou Tingchang had also aged a lot. His temples were already covered with white frost.
Zhou Shunian nodded and left the hospital room.
Zhou Tingchang sat down by the bed. The first thing that came into his eyes was his wife Wang Chunlan’s gaunt cheeks. He and his wife had an arranged marriage. She was five years older than him. After they got married, he had devoted himself to his career, from a small clerk to the head of the county. She had managed everything inside and outside the house by herself. He hadn’t even put much effort into his son Zhou Shunian’s upbringing.
The decades of his life flashed through his mind… It was Wang Chunlan who had sold cloth shoes to save money for his education. When his mother was dying, it was Wang Chunlan who had served her without complaint. When his son had a high fever, it was Wang Chunlan who had carried him to the hospital in the rain. Every day when he came home from work, there was always a delicious meal on the table. She was busy in the kitchen by herself. His clothes were washed clean and ironed neatly, and every pair of comfortable and soft cloth shoes on his feet…
His nose couldn’t help but sting. He reached out and put his arm around his wife’s shoulder, and a hot tear fell into her yellowed hair.
…
On an afternoon in July 1972, Wang Chunlan’s short life came to an end.
Tangtang placed a bouquet of white flowers in front of Wang Chunlan’s portrait. This was Wang Chunlan’s only photo, taken with Zhou Tingchang at a photo studio when they got married. The woman in the photo was still young, different from the haggard and emaciated image in Tangtang’s memory. The woman in the photo had a round and full face, and her hair was dark and thick, neatly coiled.
After seeing off the mourners, Zhou Tingchang staggered out the door.
“Tangtang, let’s go back too.” Su Juesheng sighed. He was also sad. Brother Shunian was like their real brother, and Auntie Wang was so good to them. But fate had been so cruel to this family.
“Brother Juesheng, you can go back first. I want to stay here a little longer.” Tangtang looked around the courtyard. “I feel like Auntie Wang’s presence is still here.”
Su Juesheng knew that she was sad. He gently patted her shoulder, sighed, and left first.
Night enveloped this detached courtyard. The air was humid and stuffy, quiet and sticky. Tangtang turned on the electric light, and her gaze fell on the young man on the sofa.
Zhou Shunian had been sitting on this sofa all day, like a black sculpture. He hadn’t changed his black clothes for two days. He was unshaven, and his eyes were red and swollen.
He hadn’t eaten all day. Tangtang stood there for a while, then walked into the kitchen next door.
A clattering sound came from the kitchen. About ten minutes later, Tangtang came out of the kitchen with a bowl of plain white noodles. “Brother Shunian, have something to eat.”
The steam rose to his face. It was a simple and light bowl of green vegetable and egg noodles. He raised his swollen and sore eyes and glanced at Tangtang in front of him. He lifted his heavy arm, picked up the chopsticks, and put a few strands of noodles into his mouth.
He couldn’t taste anything. The room was very quiet, and even the sound of a needle falling on the floor could be heard clearly.
With a crash, a clap of thunder split the dark clouds, and a heavy rain began to fall, instantly drenching the world in a white sheet.
Zhou Shunian suddenly got up and walked towards the door.
“Brother Shunian!” Tangtang found an umbrella and chased after his figure.
Zhou Shunian’s black clothes were quickly soaked by the rain, clinging to his back and outlining his tall and straight figure. The rain washed over his pale face. Tangtang looked at the stubborn figure in the rain, her nose stung, and wet drops covered her face. She couldn’t tell if it was rain or tears.
Suddenly, she saw Zhou Shunian raise his hand fiercely and slap himself twice.
“Brother Shunian!” Tangtang didn’t care about holding the umbrella anymore. She staggered over, and the rain drenched her.
“If only I had been a little earlier, a little earlier…” Zhou Shunian clutched his hair in pain and self-blame. The day before he went to Wanqiu, his mother had already fainted from illness. Why hadn’t he paid attention at that time? “Clearly, clearly…”
Rainwater kept falling from Tangtang’s face. She squatted in front of Zhou Shunian. “Brother Shunian, it’s not your fault. It’s heaven. He was too cruel to Auntie…”
She didn’t know how long they had been in the rain. Tangtang’s body was numb and cold from the heavy rain. She heard Zhou Shunian say, “Tangtang, can I lean on your shoulder, brother?”
“Alright.”
On the stone bench, Tangtang picked up the umbrella that had been blown aside and sat up straight. Zhou Shunian bent over, and his heavy head finally rested on her thin shoulder.
The rain pattered on the umbrella. Zhou Shunian’s body trembled slightly, and his suppressed sobs were swallowed by the sound of the rain.
Tangtang reached out her hand that was not holding the umbrella and gently covered his trembling back, patting it again and again.
“The shadow of a person does not follow the flowing water… Auntie, will always live in our hearts.”