Chapter 62
◎She is My Love (Revised)◎
“Wani, what style do you want for your new wedding clothes? I’m afraid I can’t keep up with the young people’s trends, so I had Tangtang help me draw a few clothing patterns. She said these are all popular in the city. See which one you like.”
“Look, this improved Chinese-style front-opening jacket is suitable for both pants and skirts. It’s relatively traditional and elegant, but not old-fashioned. If it’s made into this pointed-collar spring and autumn style, with a white or light blue shirt underneath, I heard that it’s a popular way for city girls to dress now… This side-opening twill is relatively simple, retro, and practical…” Yu Juanfang placed a few clothing patterns in front of Wani, but she saw that her eyes were wandering, and she was clearly distracted.
Wani was in no mood to choose any wedding clothes.
She had a premonition that something was about to slip away from her life. She frantically tried to grasp it, but she could only watch as it slipped through her fingers like quicksand.
If only I hadn’t studied so much, Wani thought. Then maybe I would have accepted my fate with an open mind, honestly learned some good needlework, found a decent young man as a husband, had children, and lived a warm and happy life with my husband and children. But I had to study so much and accidentally caught a glimpse of the outside world, yet I couldn’t escape my predetermined fate. This feeling of powerlessness was the most painful.
Yu Juanfang sighed. “Wani… tell Third Aunt, since you’re not willing to get married, why did you agree to this marriage?”
Wani was a girl that Yu Juanfang had watched grow up. She was hardworking, filial, honest, and introverted. She had played and gone to school with her son, Juexiao, since they were young, and she had also taken good care of Tangtang and Juesheng. She was the one who visited their third branch the most frequently.
Usually, whenever Yu Juanfang prepared stationery, she would prepare two sets, one for Juexiao and one for her. In Yu Juanfang’s heart, Wani was not only her niece but also like half a daughter to her. She was about to get married, and her heart was filled with a mixture of feelings.
“Third Aunt…” Wani could no longer hold back, and tears gushed out like an opened floodgate. “I don’t want to get married, but I don’t want to make my mom sad. She has raised me to this age and has worried so much for me…”
“Sigh, good child.” Yu Juanfang sighed and patted Wani’s shoulder. “Are you going to ignore your own heart just to make your mom happy? In this world, no one and nothing is more important than yourself.”
“Getting married is not like papering a window. If you make a mistake, you can tear it off and start over. This is your own life, and you can only decide which path to take.”
“Third Aunt, should I go and refuse this marriage to my parents?” Wani looked up, her teary eyes blinking. “But…”
The two families had already agreed on the betrothal gifts and the wedding date. If she went to the elders now and said she was not getting married, one could imagine the fierce reaction from the groom’s family and her own parents.
“Whether to go and oppose this marriage, you have to ask your own heart.”
Yu Juanfang’s words fell on her ears like a heavy hammer, deafening. Wani unconsciously wrung her ten slender fingers. After a long while, she clenched her fists, and her eyes became clear and firm.
“Third Aunt, you’re right… In this world, nothing is more important than my own heart. I’ve thought it through. I’m going to refuse this marriage.”
Even if it meant bearing the pressure from the elders of both sides, being pointed at and scolded, and being labeled as unvirtuous, she would still call off this unwanted marriage.
After saying that, she got up from the kang, intending to go and talk to her parents about calling off the marriage.
Before she could walk out of the south room, she saw Su Juesheng run back recklessly, his head covered in sweat, and he almost bumped into the threshold.
“Juesheng? What’s wrong with you?”
“Mom, I have something urgent!” Su Juesheng pulled Wani out without any explanation. “Sister Wani, you have to go to Wangxiang Village with me right now!”
…
Su Juesheng’s bicycle wheels spun rapidly, rolling over the bumpy village road. Wani sat on the back seat, feeling so jolted that she was about to vomit her breakfast.
“Tangtang, is he still there?” Su Juesheng wiped the sweat from his forehead.
“He’s still there.”
Wani was a little confused, feeling that the brother and sister were acting strangely. “What are you two doing?”
Tangtang took Wani’s hand. “You’ll know when you come with us.”
Tangtang and Su Juesheng took Wani to the widow Liu’s house and stood on the cart they had brought over. This height and angle were just right to see the situation in the courtyard without being easily discovered.
That Song Xiaojun stuffed a box of vanishing cream into the widow Liu’s hand. “I bought this a few days ago when I went to the city for business. You work in the fields for a long time, and your hands and face are prone to cracking. This can relieve dry skin.”
The widow Liu lifted the lid of the tin box. The white cream inside had a fine luster, and a light, sweet fragrance wafted into her nose. After spreading it on the back of her hand, her originally rough skin felt soft and moist.
“Give me your hand. I’ll put some on for you too.”
“This thing has a fragrance. It’s not suitable for a big man like me…”
“What’s wrong with a big man? You’re peeling from the sun in the fields. Your hands should be moisturized too.” When the widow Liu used it herself, she was only willing to scoop a little, but when she used it on Song Xiaojun, she scooped a large amount.
Song Xiaojun’s lips moved. “I will definitely take care of the matter at home as soon as possible.”
The widow Liu hesitated to speak. “If it really doesn’t work, let’s just break up. When we meet in the village in the future, we’ll just pretend we don’t know each other…”
“I know what you’re afraid of. You’re afraid of being pointed at and scolded, afraid of being taken away for criticism. Wait a little longer. Wait for me to solve the matter at home. Yueqin, I will definitely not let you down.”
“Sister Wani…” Tangtang looked at Wani with a worried expression. Wani took in the scene in the courtyard, her feelings complicated.
So she was not the only one who was unwilling in this marriage.
No wonder the old Song family was willing to send twice the betrothal gifts and set the wedding date so soon.
Song Xiaojun came out of the widow Liu’s house. He hadn’t walked two steps when he saw Wani by the wall. Tangtang and Su Juesheng were helping her jump down from the cart. Their eyes met, and neither of them spoke.
…
Song Xiaojun’s face was slapped hard by Song Dazhu. “I’ve told you so many times to break up with that slut. You just won’t listen! What kind of love potion did that slut give you?! You don’t want the good, innocent girl your mother and I found for you, but you have to secretly have an affair with that slut who cursed her husband to death, ruining the reputation of our old Song family!”
Song Xiaojun retorted. He would not allow his father to call the person he loved a slut. “She is not a slut. She is my love…”
Song Dazhu was about to faint from anger. He couldn’t help but curse, his saliva flying everywhere. “Bullshit love! What kind of sin did I commit in my past life to give birth to such an infuriating son? In this ten-li radius, what kind of girl can’t our family find? Why do you have to find a widow to disgust us? For generations of the old Song family, when have we ever had a prodigal son like you? You’d better give up that idea. As long as your old man is alive for one day, I will never allow you to marry that jinx into our family!”
“We’ve worked so hard for so long. Who is it all for? Isn’t it all for you!”
Song Dazhu and Xia Lilan had known about Song Xiaojun and the widow Liu’s affair for a long time, but they had never brought it to the surface. They thought that if they quickly arranged a marriage for their son, he would settle down after getting married, and he and the widow Liu would naturally break up.
They hadn’t expected that at this critical moment, Song Xiaojun’s secret meeting with the widow Liu would be exposed to the Su family!
A fiery palm print was on Song Xiaojun’s face. He spat out the blood in his mouth. Hearing his mother say that it was all for his own good, he couldn’t help but laugh. This time, he finally straightened his back in front of Song Dazhu and Xia Lilan. “For me? You’re doing it for yourselves, right? I am a person. I have flesh and blood, feelings, and thoughts. Have you ever treated me as a living person? You just want an obedient puppet!”
“I’m going to marry Yueqin. I won’t marry anyone but her in this life. What Su Wani, Zhao Wani, Zhang Wani, whoever wants to marry them can marry them!”
Hearing this, Song Dazhu almost fainted on the spot. “If I had known you were so stubborn, your mother and I would not have given birth to you in the first place!”
“I’d rather die than to live a life worse than death like this!”
…
In the west room of the old Su family’s house, after dinner, the second son, Su, was wearing a shirt and smoking his pipe with his head lowered.
Shuanfu clenched his fists and slammed them on the table, feeling as disgusted as if he had eaten a fly. “That old Song family is clearly trying to cheat us into a marriage. Wani absolutely cannot marry into such a family. Tomorrow, I’ll return the betrothal gifts the old Song family sent! This marriage must be called off!”
“What double betrothal gifts, what borrowing money to build a house, who cares! A family of marriage swindlers!”
Yu Yahong couldn’t help but spit. “That Song Xiaojun looks like an honest person, but I didn’t expect him to be secretly involved with a widow. Shuanfu is right. I’ll go and call off the marriage tomorrow!”
“This matter is also a lesson. Next time I look for a match for Wani, I must keep my eyes open and not run into a marriage swindler like this again.” The matter of the old Song family’s marriage fraud also made Yu Yahong feel a lingering fear. Fortunately, they had discovered the secret affair between Song Xiaojun and the widow Liu before the marriage. If they had gotten married, she would have really been crying by the stove for the rest of her life, with no one to tell her grievances.
Wani brought the cut watermelon to the table. “Mom, I don’t want to get married anymore. You don’t have to worry about my marriage in the future.”
Yu Yahong was taken aback. Her two thin eyebrows were tightly furrowed, and she couldn’t help but ask in a shrill voice, “What? What do you mean? What do you mean you don’t want to get married?”
“Actually, even if the secret affair between Song Xiaojun and the widow Liu hadn’t been exposed, I was planning to discuss calling off the marriage with you and Dad. I don’t like Song Xiaojun, and I don’t want to get married into someone else’s family so early.”
“But you’re a girl, and a girl always has to get married. In another two years, when you’re older, it will be difficult to find a husband.”
Wani took a piece of watermelon and sat down on the side. The watermelon flesh was pink. It had been soaked in the well water for an afternoon, and it was very cool and comfortable to eat. She took a bite of the watermelon and lowered her eyes. “Mom, I know you dote on me the most. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be worrying about my marriage before my three older brothers are even married. But why do I have to get married? I have hands and feet. I can support myself. I can live a good life on my own. There’s no need to marry into someone else’s family and rely on others to live.”
“If a girl like you doesn’t get married, who will take care of you in your old age?”
Wani said patiently, “I just don’t want to get married now. I didn’t say I would never get married in my life.”
Shuanfu interrupted his mother. “Mom, this matter is an example. You think this marriage is a good deal for our old Su family, but if it weren’t for Tangtang and Juesheng exposing the secret affair between Song Xiaojun and the widow Liu, if Wani had married him, she would have really been in for a hard time.”
“I know you dote on Wani and want to find a good match for her. But there are some things we have to admit. We can’t think in the old ways anymore. Wani has always had her own ideas. For some things, maybe if we let her decide for herself, she will make the right decision.”
Wani looked at her big brother gratefully. When she had wanted to go to high school, it was also her big brother, Shuanfu, who had stood up and supported her first.
Her big brother was always the most reliable person in this family for her.
A gust of wind blew, and the cool and moist air from outside rushed in, dispelling the stuffiness in the room.
The ashes from the pipe the second son, Su, was smoking had already accumulated in a thick layer. “From now on, let Wani decide her own matters.”
Yu Yahong sighed heavily and waved her arm. “Alright then. After this, I’ve also thought it through. You’ve all grown up and have your own ideas. I’m old and have no experience. Wani… from now on, whenever you want to get married, whoever you want to marry, or if you don’t want to get married, I won’t interfere anymore!”
“Mom, really?” Wani blinked.
“Really. I’ll return the betrothal gifts from the old Song family tomorrow.” Thinking of the faces of the old Song family, Yu Yahong couldn’t help but spit. “Pah, who cares about any double betrothal gifts!”