Chapter 34
I expected him to say no, of course. But he silently stroked my hair, adjusted my clothes, and then made me sit facing him.
He still didn’t answer. Miss Baba looked back and forth between us, then covered her ears with her hands.
“So, I should just be quiet? Take your time.”
She even closed her eyes. The silence continued. Was he speechless because my question was so shocking?
It seemed like I had been overthinking. I felt embarrassed. I sat stiffly, like a doll. Something dripped down my head. It seemed like zombie residue, but I couldn’t wipe it off.
From the corner of my eye, I saw the young master’s unusually serious expression. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He rested his chin on his hand, lost in thought, then said abruptly,
“No.”
“Phew…”
I was the one who let out a sigh of relief. He had taken so long to give such a predictable answer.
I was relieved to hear the expected response. Well, it would be strange if he suddenly proposed to me.
“Don’t worry. Even if you asked, I wouldn’t accept. Your Ladyship, the Countess Zepetto.”
Saying it out loud felt strange. My pride was slightly wounded.
No, I was definitely upset. My pride was definitely wounded. He could have at least let me down gently!
Annoyed, I blurted out,
“I haven’t given up on my dream of becoming a Countess. I’ll propose to every Count on the continent. There might not be anyone as wonderful as you, but I’m sure there are a few who would find me appealing.”
“That’s not allowed either.”
I glared at him. His expression was still unreadable.
Miss Baba was watching us, one eye half-open.
“Why not? Well, I suppose losing a capable maid like me is unthinkable. You’re such a typical nobleman, Young Master.”
I shrugged and shook my head, trying to tease him, but he didn’t react. He still looked serious.
Was there another reason why he wasn’t responding to my words? Perhaps he had been injured during the zombie attack.
But no matter how closely I examined him, I couldn’t find any visible injuries. His clothes were undamaged. I had made sure to keep the zombies away from him with my vacuum cleaner.
Then there was only one place he could have been injured.
“Did you hurt your head, Young Master?”
“Hey.”
He finally looked at me. So it was his head after all.
“You should have said so earlier. Miss Baba, can you use healing magic? Miss Baba, are you capable of healing magic?”
“I’m covering my ears. I can’t hear anything.”
“Well, the fact that you’re saying that means you can hear.”
“I don’t know because I can’t hear anything.”
The young master placed his hand on my thigh.
“Stop teasing me. It’s not like that.”
I swatted his hand away.
“Don’t touch a lady without her permission.”
He sighed deeply and rubbed his furrowed brow.
He looked at me, then sighed again.
He leaned his head slightly, as if tired, and said,
“I didn’t understand what you meant by wanting to become the Countess.”
Embarrassed, I repeated myself, more honestly this time.
“I want to become human so I can legally kiss you.”
His jaw dropped. Of course, I didn’t mean I wanted him to kiss me right now. He looked pretty even with his mouth hanging open. But it was unseemly. A noble should maintain his composure, and a maid should help him do so.
I gently closed his mouth with my hand.
“What?”
My efforts were in vain, as he opened his mouth again.
The carriage suddenly jolted. I almost hit my head on the ceiling, but the young master quickly reached out and protected my head with his hand.
“Say that again. No, don’t. Don’t say it.”
As a composed maid, I had the patience to wait, even if he was being indecisive.
“I’ll give you one minute to gather your thoughts. Go. 59 seconds, 58 seconds, 57 seconds…”
He suddenly covered my mouth with his hand. I pulled his hand away. I wanted to call this a kiss too, but I held back. He might faint if I mentioned kissing again.
Unlike me, an avid reader of romance novels, the young master, who only read magic books, was probably too innocent to even know what a kiss was.
“I suppose I have no choice. I’ll explain what a kiss is, for your sake. A kiss is when lovers press their lips together…”
“It’s not like I don’t know that!”
He snapped at me, embarrassed that his ignorance had been exposed. It was understandable. For him, who was praised as a genius, to be revealed as someone who didn’t know what a kiss was…
I should let it go.
“Of course you do. But if you need further explanation, just let me know. Hearing something you already know from someone else can feel different. It was the word ‘kiss,’ by the way. As you know.”
He waved his hand dismissively.
“You can’t become the Countess Zepetto. Nor can you marry into another Count family. And you can’t become human in the first place.”
He rubbed his forehead, looking confused.
“Am I not pretty enough?”
“Marriage isn’t just about beauty. It requires… love…”
His cheeks were flushed as he said that. Even the way his silver hair fell over his forehead like flower petals looked lovely.
I placed my hand on my chest, where my heart should be, and said sincerely,
“I love you, Young Master.”
I leaned closer to him. It was the first time I had ever said those words.
As Anna, and as Estella.
Anna liked the young master. We were friends. And I was his maid. Love was not allowed.
But what about Estella?
Estella was free. She was a doll who wasn’t supposed to have feelings, yet she did. That’s where she deviated from the ordinary. Only after becoming a doll could I express the feelings I had to hide.
“I love you, Young Master.”
Our eyes met. His clear, blue eyes, unlike mine, were moist.
“Me too.”
“Huh?”
Me too? He loved me too? Did he perhaps love me?
“Please elaborate!”
I lunged at him and grabbed his lapel, shaking it.
“That was an unexpected answer!”
“Well, you need to learn to calm down.”
He pulled my hands away and gently folded them, placing them aside.
“Me too. I have someone I love.”
My hands, reaching for his collar again, were easily stopped.
“Of course you love me. I made you. You’re misunderstanding something. That’s called reverence.”
“Why are you correcting my words? Are you a language teacher? I’m perfectly capable of expressing myself. I’m very good at distinguishing between emotions. My love and reverence are as different as a harvest mouse and an elephant shrew.”
He seemed determined not to believe me. Or rather, he didn’t want to believe me.
“Would your rejection have been different if I were Anna?”
As if struck by my words, he turned his head away.
“I understand your feelings for me. But we can’t be together. Would you have said that? You don’t believe me because I’m a doll, do you?”
“…”
After a long silence, he finally spoke.
“Because you…”
“Because I what?”
“Because you’re claiming to be Anna. That’s why it’s difficult to say. Difficult to explain.”
He finally met my gaze, his expression like a cornered herbivore. He looked so cute that my anger subsided a little.
“I can’t accept your feelings sincerely. It makes things complicated, my feelings.”
“How complicated? Even the most tangled yarn can be untangled if you put your mind to it. If all else fails, you can just cut it…”
“It’s not that simple.”
His ears were now completely red. It was a clear sign of his emotions, which he couldn’t hide with his usual indifferent expression.
I unconsciously touched my own ear. It must have been perfectly shaped and beautiful. But its color would be pale and lifeless.
“The person I love looks like you, Estella.”
It was a shocking statement. I touched my face in surprise.
“I had a model? Did you even get her permission to make me look like her? Young Master, that’s rude!”
He ignored my words.
“She’s someone I can’t meet right now. But I’ll definitely find a way. To meet her again, talk to her, hold her hand, look into her eyes…”
His flushed lips were pressed tightly together. Even the shadows under his eyes seemed to have a pinkish hue.
He was in love. I didn’t know who it was, but his feelings were genuine.
I was also sincere towards him. And I probably always would be. I wasn’t sure if I could ever let go of my feelings for him. Feelings could be as stiff as a metal plate, yet as easily crumpled as a receipt.
“As a good maid, I have no choice but to accept your feelings.”
Despite my words, I felt a bit sulky, so I crossed my arms and declared,
“I’ll never tell you I love you again.”
As soon as I finished speaking, Miss Baba said cheerfully,
“My fortune was accurate, wasn’t it? I told you you’d experience heartbreak!”
Her gaze was fixed on the young master, not me. I shook my head and sighed internally.
Excuse me, I was the one who experienced heartbreak.