Chapter 5
3. Heat-Resistant Material Added for Extra Specialness
I couldn’t help but tilt my head. The young master had never missed this time, from childhood until now. And I had always been there with him. If I was lucky, I even got to share some of the snacks.
“That’s impossible. Look, it’s all things the young master likes.”
“Hmm, no. It’s missing the most important thing.”
Had my skills gotten rusty without me realizing it? I put down the tray and examined it carefully. The cutlery, the linen cover, the decorations, the temperature – everything was perfect.
The only difference was that I was Estella, not Anna.
‘Is she about to say that the most important thing the young master cherished was me?’
I listened with anticipation. Mrs. Muriel said with a serious expression,
“The pattern on the teacup isn’t appropriate for the season.”
“Huh?”
“It’s autumn. Instead of a teacup with a blue hydrangea pattern, porcelain with a gold dust-like dye at the bottom would be more suitable.”
Mrs. Muriel hurried to the cupboard and took out a luxurious teacup. It must have been a recent purchase, as the artisan’s handwritten note was still inside the box.
“I put so much effort into acquiring this tea set! Even the Western Duke’s family covets it. Hee hee.”
The tray was rearranged. I felt a bit wronged.
“You just wanted to use the new teacup!”
“It’s best to be perfectly prepared. You may not know this yet, but the young master is very particular and sensitive.”
“Mmm.”
I agreed. I nodded along, but her next words were strange.
“He’s also melancholic. Like a sharply honed blade. He dismisses servants without mercy if they make a mistake. Several maids were fired just recently.”
That couldn’t be true. The young master was sensitive, but also cheerful; prickly, but kind. He was a man full of flaws, but he lived by compensating for them with his tiny merits.
The young master was known for his forgiving nature towards the servants’ minor mistakes. He was the type of person who, when the stable hand accidentally shaved the horse’s mane too short, simply commented that the horse looked cuter. He was also the one who ate my failed attempts at making snacks with me until I finally perfected the recipe.
“Our young master is a kind person.”
I spoke with conviction.
“He shuts himself away in the workshop, doesn’t socialize, doesn’t have a lover, secretly discards the list of potential suitors he finally receives, revisits tax policies to crack down on magic tool shops that overcharge him, and scurries away when children approach him during festivals, but!”
“……”
“Even so, he’s a good person!”
Perhaps persuaded by my words, Mrs. Muriel’s expression softened.
“Yes. I think you might be able to handle the young master. You’re right. He wasn’t always like this.”
I lifted the newly arranged tray with one hand and raised my chin. As I was about to leave the kitchen with an air of elegance, Mrs. Muriel’s soft voice stopped me.
“Don’t blame the young master if he’s harsh with you. As you said, he wasn’t always like this…”
Knock, knock. I knocked twice on the office door. No response. Knock, knock again.
I had confirmed that the young master was in his office, so why wasn’t he answering? He was sensitive, but he also had a short attention span and would often startle at the slightest noise. He wasn’t someone who would miss my knocks.
Could he be dozing off?
“Young master! It’s Estella! I’m coming in!”
When I knocked one last time, oh no! The wooden door was dented in the shape of my fist. I had single-handedly damaged a door that had withstood decades without a scratch.
“Ugh—I forgot to control my strength.”
I looked around. No witnesses. This wasn’t my fault. It was the fault of time and decay.
Feigning ignorance, I opened the door and entered the office with a refined posture. The young master, who hadn’t made a sound before, had his head buried in documents.
Seeing how different he looked compared to the past, I truly realized that five years had passed.
His shoulders were broader, and he had grown considerably taller. It was surprising that he had grown even more, despite not being so young anymore.
Seeing him like this, I understood why the head butler constantly talked about the late master. The current young master looked and seemed exactly like his stern father.
“The door. You broke it.”
The young master said without looking up from his papers. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.
It would be worse if I tried to deny it and got scolded even more.
“Yes. I broke it.”
“I see.”
He didn’t seem angry. I was the doll, but the human young master was the one acting like a machine, mechanically signing documents. His expressionless face and monotonous tone felt strange to me.
“Leave.”
His tone was flat, abruptly dismissing me. But I wasn’t the type to silently obey.
“You’ll change your mind once you see the refreshments I’ve prepared.”
I strode into the office. The table in front of the terrace on the left was the same as before. Even the tablecloth was the same old cloth. It was my own embroidery.
It was still here. The frayed edges, worn by time, caught my eye. It was surprising that the observant young master had missed this flaw.
Perhaps it was too insignificant for him to notice.
“I’ll change the tablecloth after tea time. It’s too worn out.”
I didn’t expect a reply, but the young master responded immediately.
“Leave.”
I couldn’t back down either. This was all for him.
“Young master, it’s almost time for your digestive medicine, isn’t it? You still have the habit of immersing yourself in stressful work and relying on medicine, despite the doctor’s nagging, don’t you?”
If this were a normal snack time, I would have turned around at his command to “leave.” If he wasn’t the type to take medicine, that is.
He lived on medicine and often skipped meals. And his picky eating habits?
“It’s for your health. Even if you don’t like it…”
“Leave.”
“Young mast…”
“Leave. Leave. Leave!”
The wooden pen in the young master’s hand snapped. Gasp!
“Young master!”
I immediately rushed to him and checked his hand. What if his elegant, slender, and frankly, rather weak hands were injured!
“Are you hurt? I’ll leave, I’ll leave, but let me treat you first!”
I tried to take his hand to examine it, but he pushed me away coldly.
“I’m done indulging you. You’re going to throw away the tablecloth? What then?”
I hadn’t thought deeply about the fate of the discarded tablecloth.
“Well, I suppose the head butler would sell it to a peddler.”
“……”
“If you wish, I can follow the peddler and see what becomes of the tablecloth!”
The young master sighed. The tension in his fist, resting on the desk, eased.
“That’s not what I meant.”
His tone was much gentler now. Like when he would concede a point in our usual banter. Perhaps with a touch of melancholy…
“You wouldn’t know, but Anna made that tablecloth.”
“You knew? That’s right, I…”
The young master’s eyes suddenly flashed like a tiger’s, so I quickly changed my words.
“I knew it was Anna’s handiwork because of the floral pattern, which I love. I recognized it right away. I’m a special maid, you see. I love floral patterns, and I love Anna…”
“You keep reminding me of Anna.”
That’s because I am Anna. I wanted to say it, but I held back.
“Nothing in this mansion has changed since Anna died. I haven’t allowed it. It still feels like she’s chattering away beside me.”
That’s because I am actually chattering away! I held back these words too.
“As time passes, I feel Anna slipping away from me. Even the flower she dried for me crumbled a few days ago. I…”
The young master covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath.
“I still can’t believe she’s not here with me.”
“Then don’t believe it.”
“What?”
I smiled at the young master, who had sharply lifted his head.
“Just think that Anna is alive somewhere.”
In fact, she was right next to him.
“Enough, don’t remind me anymore. I can’t forget her ice-cold hands.”
Thinking about my death sent shivers down my spine. Would I be a skeleton by now?
“Ugh…”
The young master’s eyes were about to sharpen again. I quickly changed the subject.
“H…how kind you are. Estella is touched.”
“……”
“Anyway, what I mean is, you don’t have to force yourself to forget Anna.”
As I said these words, I recalled the last time I saw the young master as Anna. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry.
Yes, he must have been truly grieved. Even though I was just a servant, we had spent a long time together, so he must have cherished me.
That was the reason I dared to harbor feelings for him.
The young master, kind to everyone. A precious person who showed affection even to someone of low status and full of shortcomings like me.
Seeing him grieve was unacceptable to Anna. Wasn’t Anna already gone?
I wanted only happiness in his future. It was natural to wish for the happiness of someone you loved. So…
“I’ll help you get over Anna! It’s shock therapy! By acting even more like Anna! So you can’t escape the memories of her! I’ll help you overcome it!”
“In that case, I need to get you out of here even more. Leave.”
“Oh.”
This wasn’t going as planned!