Chapter 65
*Similar Appearances Can’t Be Hidden*
I turned my back on everyone and walked towards a chair in the corner of the room. I wanted to rip off the new dress dramatically, but it was so expensive! I couldn’t waste the young master’s money.
I sat down, rested my chin on the armrest, and glared at him, my body slumped like bread dough. The clueless designer smiled brightly.
“Oh my, you look beautiful even in that pose.”
“We’ll buy everything we’ve chosen so far, so please take the rest and leave. I’ll send you a detailed order later.”
He dismissed the designers and approached me. He seemed unfazed by my sudden change of mood, which only irritated me further. I wanted to be someone who could greatly affect his emotions.
“If you don’t like the clothes, just say so. Don’t throw a tantrum.”
Despite his harsh tone, his hand as he stroked my cheek was gentle. I hated how I analyzed every touch, wondering about its meaning.
But I didn’t push him away. I glared at him, trying to look as sullen as possible.
“It feels like playing dolls.”
“Playing dolls?”
“Is this really a gift for me? Or do you just want to play dolls?”
I couldn’t say that I was jealous of Estella, so I just said mean and nonsensical things. He seemed to understand, as he sat down beside me and rubbed his chin.
“Playing dolls…”
“…”
“Is there a reason why I shouldn’t? You’re my doll. I’ll dress you up however I want and send you wherever I want. I’ve just been indulging you so far. A doll should obey its master.”
His matter-of-fact tone stung. Was I just a doll to him? Even as Estella, I felt like we were more than just friends. Perhaps I was just imagining things, oblivious to his true feelings.
He still seemed indifferent. He looked down at me and gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
“Beautiful.”
“…Even if I’m beautiful, you don’t take me seriously.”
“You’re right. I don’t take you seriously.”
I had been hurt so many times that I no longer felt pain. I extended my legs and pressed my heel against his shoe, losing my balance on the sofa.
I tried to press down harder, but I completely lost my balance. He caught me just as I was about to fall.
He always confused me, treating me like a person, then a doll, then a person again. He said he didn’t take me seriously, yet he treated me with more affection than anyone else.
“It makes me happy and angry when you’re affectionate. It makes me feel like I’m just a doll. What am I to you?”
“…”
He frowned, as if thinking hard. His elegant hand twitched nervously. He seemed to be debating whether to tell the truth or lie.
“What kind of answer do you want?”
He asked, still undecided. He added in an annoyed tone,
“Can’t I even dress up my own doll?”
“I don’t like being dressed up. I like dressing myself up.”
“I like changing your clothes, looking at you, and taking care of you. I’m your master, and you have to do what I like. Isn’t that obvious?”
His tone was sharper than usual. I knew he saw me as more than just a doll. But there must be a reason why he was saying such hurtful things today.
He was feeling guilty. I instinctively knew. Perhaps it was similar to why I was jealous of myself.
“You didn’t look happy even when I was dressed up beautifully. You looked like you were just completing a task. Why? I can’t go to a ball with you, and we don’t have any important evening parties.”
“…”
“You’re pretending to think about me, but you actually wanted to dress up someone else. Who is it? It doesn’t matter who it is. I’m just really upset.”
“Estella.”
“Yes, I’m Estella. The one who can’t be by your side, no matter how pretty I am, because I’m not human.”
I buried my face in the sofa cushion. He had no reason to tolerate my tantrum, and yet he was. Would it have been better if he were a strict and cold master? A heartless master who wouldn’t give me any false hope or reason to cling to him.
I liked him and was hurt by him precisely because he wasn’t that kind of master. It was a contradiction. I swung my legs back and forth.
“I’m really upset!”
“You’re right.”
He said calmly, his voice even.
“There’s someone else I wanted to dress up and make beautiful. Are you happy now that you’ve heard it?”
“No. I feel even worse.”
He helped me sit up. I sat there like a limp rag doll and glared at him. His indifferent expression, despite having struck a nerve, was both infuriating and endearing. Even in this moment, I couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was, how much he had grown and matured. It seemed my feelings for him, both as a human and as a doll, were not so easily discarded.
“There’s only been one person I’ve ever truly cared about. And it’s not you.”
“Don’t make me jealous.”
“I only have Anna.”
He said it without a hint of embarrassment. I moved away from him, putting some distance between us, but maintaining eye contact. His eyes looked empty.
“You said you’re Anna. So I thought… if I treated you well, would my heart heal? I wondered if I wanted to be kind to you because you claimed to be Anna. I even thought that.”
“Are you done thinking? So, what’s the conclusion?”
“I don’t know. Or rather, I feel even more uncomfortable now.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re upset.”
He added in a low voice,
“And Anna isn’t here anyway.”
“…”
“You can’t replace Anna. I know that now, for sure.”
I reached out and took his hand. My hand was cold, but his was warm, almost hot. He didn’t pull away, just gently enclosed my hand in his.
“Do you hate me for being like this?”
“No.”
“Then keep liking me.”
He closed his eyes as if praying and murmured, I need someone to like me.
I’m the one you’re looking for. Whether as Estella or as Anna, I’m the only one.
I kept those words to myself and leaned closer to him. Our lips touched. Time seemed to stop. We both felt like lifeless dolls.
I pulled away first, to gauge his reaction.
He blinked like a broken doll, then rubbed his eyes.
“I’m glad you’re by my side.”
As if forgetting about the kiss, we resumed our conversation as if nothing had happened. I said I liked the clothes but they were uncomfortable, and he said he wasn’t satisfied with the fabric. We didn’t mention the kiss or how we felt.
Would he dislike it if I said I enjoyed it?
I was glad he was soft-hearted. I felt like I could eventually win him over if I kept exploiting this weakness.
A few days later, we heard that Lady Irang had awakened, and we rushed to her side. A simple but cozy wooden bedroom greeted us. Lady Irang was sitting on the bed, and Lund, his face streaked with tears, was standing beside her.
“You’re awake!”
“Count Zepetto and his maid. I’ve heard about what happened. I apologize for my behavior. Please excuse me for not being able to greet you properly.”
Her voice was weak.
“It’s okay! How are you feeling?”
“Uncomfortable and in pain.”
Lund started hiccuping. Irang glared at him, and he quickly knelt beside the bed.
“Sister, I’m so glad you’re awake. I was so worried…”
Irang swatted his hand away and snapped,
“Confess to them what you did. You had some wicked thoughts. If you had just told me honestly, this wouldn’t have happened. I transformed into a dragon and destroyed our fortress. This is absurd.”
“But thanks to that, all the zombies are gone. You eliminated them yourself.”
“Lund!”
He wiped his tears and stood up, then turned to us. He walked towards me and knelt on one knee. He was kneeling a lot today. He would need knee pads by the end of the year.
“Lady Estella, I apologize. I…”
“You’re withdrawing your proposal.”
The young master interrupted.
“Withdraw that ridiculous proposal and apologize to her. How dare you covet my doll. She’s too naive to choose the right person to marry.”
“Um, Young Master? Aren’t you underestimating me? I want the apology for that part.”
“Apologize, now. And get out of here with your ridiculous dowry.”
“Can I keep the hunting outfit?”
“Estella, be quiet.”
Lund chuckled awkwardly, kissed the back of my hand, and stood up. Just as the young master was about to scold him again, Lund nodded.
“You’re right, I should apologize. I’ll explain what happened. Actually, my sister and Castor Dragonuska…”
I interrupted him.
“You three are siblings, right?”