Chapter 18: A Glimmer of Light
Having the idea was one thing; putting it into practice was another.
Nelly sat on the floor, racking her brain, but she was completely clueless. She had already tried stabbing him from behind and had failed spectacularly. As for poison, she had no chance of winning against a Demon King who could concoct mind-altering drugs. Karsus could fly and teleport, so creating a falling accident would be futile…
Besides, Nelly wasn’t even sure if she could bring herself to do it, even if she had the chance.
She had always believed that there was more good than evil in people’s hearts, and she wanted to believe that even Karsus could be reformed.
But for some reason, Nelly was certain that even if she “reformed” His Majesty the Demon King, she wouldn’t be able to go home. Making him see reason would come at a price, and she had a premonition that the price would be staying in this world forever. But that wasn’t what she wanted—even the love of an elegant, handsome, and powerful Demon King was not more important than her family and friends on Earth.
She had always wondered about the protagonists in manga and novels who were transported to other worlds. If they, like her, were given the hope of returning home, no matter how slim the chance, no matter how many obstacles and difficulties, would they still be able to live on in a strange world as if nothing had happened? Would they give up their adventures without hesitation and embark on the journey home?
At least for Nelly, the answer was a resounding yes. From her soul to her body, she felt out of place in Wildia. Every cell in her body was screaming to leave, to go home.
In the end, she didn’t belong here.
Nelly got up numbly and walked to the window, watching the ever-changing silhouette of the mountains in the sunset. The snow on them had receded quite a bit since she had arrived. She couldn’t help but feel dazed. She had been in Sloth for so long, from spring to the height of summer. Perhaps she would have to endure autumn and the harsh winter as well.
The mere thought of it made her tremble, not to mention the days that had already passed, days darker than the most sinister nightmare. Just a fleeting glimpse of them sent goosebumps all over her arms.
The magic potion was potent. At first, Nelly really had no sense of self at all, and could only be manipulated by Karsus, dutifully playing the part of the gentle and lovely doll he desired. But soon, she began to regain fleeting moments of consciousness when her body was weak. She felt as if she were floating outside her body, only able to watch as Karsus kissed her hair night after night, lingering on every inch of her skin, expressing his ardor and love in the most direct way.
This was actually bearable. After all, who hadn’t seen some R-rated works?
But perhaps it was because Nelly’s willpower was too strong, gradually overcoming the effects of the potion, and a slight sense of her five senses began to return. In this state, maintaining clarity was exceptionally painful.
Her body, oblivious, betrayed her will, sending her pleasure and sensations.
It was a humiliation beyond imagination. It was like a series of slaps, mocking her persistence as nothing more than a hypocrite’s moral code.
Things only got worse after that. She gradually returned to her body, forced to pretend that nothing was wrong, and even… even had to briefly allow herself to sink into it to avoid giving herself away.
Even with Nelly’s limited experience, Karsus was an impeccable lover. But more than once, when the handsome Demon King held her in his arms as they slept, she would secretly open her eyes to look at him, a strong urge welling up inside her to tear off his handsome facade and see just how rotten and filthy his heart was.
He had said he was willing to cut open his heart for her to see. Even if it was filled with her, she would only feel disgusted.
Disgusted with the self-righteous Karsus, and disgusted with herself for being unable to resist.
Nelly felt that if this continued, she would break down.
Perhaps that was his intention.
She felt a chill run through her body. She crossed her arms and moved away from the window, sitting back down on the edge of the bed. She watched as the sunset, reflected on the bed curtains, gradually darkened, eventually turning into gently swaying shadows.
Night had fallen.
Nelly didn’t know when she had fallen asleep, slumped over the side of the bed, but when she woke up, she was already in her nightgown, lying in the bedding.
She was startled and quickly turned over. Karsus was lying on his side, and the sudden movement caused him to open his eyes immediately. He met her gaze, his expression flat.
Nelly was speechless for a moment and silently lowered her eyes. The young man’s cool fingers wordlessly climbed up her shoulder, slid down the outside of her arm to her hand, but then moved to her hair, stroking it tenderly, again and again.
“Nelly.” Karsus’s tone was unusual tonight. His voice was lower than usual, the end of his words raspy, like untrimmed paper, rough and coarse, but there was a different kind of emotion hidden behind each word.
“Mhm,” Nelly replied softly.
He slowly moved closer, but lowered his head and buried his face in the crook of her neck, holding her with one arm, his movements slightly trembling.
“You must hate me.” It was a statement, a settled fact.
He didn’t wait for Nelly’s reply, but continued to whisper, unconcerned, “But I can’t let go. I absolutely can’t.”
It was the first time she had caught a hint of weakness in his words. Chewing on it, the taste was almost like fear.
“You are my only light. I can’t lose you.” Karsus took a pained breath and raised his eyes to trace her features with his gaze.
“I am willing to die for you again and again, as long as you are by my side.”
His smile was colder than the pale moonlight streaming in. “So despise me, hate me. I don’t care.” As he spoke, he kissed her forehead. “Because you are still mine.”
Nelly seemed to have gone mute. She didn’t move or speak. Her eyes, rendered dark by the night, were two pools of blue torn from the deep sea, constantly yearning to return to the waves under the sky. She stared at him without blinking, her small, delicate features as cold as a porcelain doll’s.
At that moment, their roles were temporarily reversed.
Then, Karsus became the one on top again. He effortlessly assumed a dominant, condescending posture.
Nelly’s fingers rested on his shoulder, her expression still maintaining an incomprehensible coldness. She pushed him, hooked a leg over him, and then pressed his shoulder again.
The Demon King’s beautiful features were momentarily stunned.
But the young woman didn’t stop there. She pushed again, and taking advantage of his momentary stiffness, she reversed their positions, the one below now on top.
Her hair fell around her, framing her face, making her azure eyes unspeakably alluring.
She was restrained, calm. One hand was propped beside the black-haired young man’s cheek, the other on a pearl button.
A thin cloud slowly passed in front of the moon, and the light and shadow in the room shifted.
In the half-light, all emotions dissolved into a chaotic mass.
But her hand was stopped. Karsus almost roughly pulled her to his side, and with a flick of the blanket, said, “Time to sleep.”
The icy mask on Nelly’s face shattered into pieces. She stared at him in a daze for a while, but His Majesty the Demon King simply turned his back on her, leaving her with a thin, slender back.
It was as if she had been possessed just now. She didn’t know what she was thinking, to be so bold.
She had actually thought that by doing that, she could sever ties with him.
Now, she couldn’t trace the logic in that fleeting moment of inspiration.
If she couldn’t figure it out, she simply wouldn’t think about it. She also turned over, facing the floor-to-ceiling window, and watched as the moon sank, sinking into the hollow of the mountain’s shadow, leaving only the sky, still as red as blood.
In a daze, Nelly had a dream.
She was locked in a golden cage, unable to see anything. Suddenly, the altar of the three goddesses appeared before her, the stained-glass window magnificent and dazzling. Her vision blurred from the sudden holy light. To be precise, everything around her became blurry, as if a black curtain had been drawn in front of her eyes.
Someone was constantly calling her name, but she felt a sense of release and had no intention of responding.
The moment her consciousness faded into nothingness, Nelly woke up, right into Karsus’s red eyes.
Her vision went dark. He pinned her down, their lips and teeth meeting.