“2018.06.24 The heat was unbearable”
Feeling sad was the most insignificant emotion among all those of liking you.
—Excerpted from Tao Shuran’s Diary
A massive wave of surprise rushed to her head, and Tao Shuran snapped her eyes open, only to find Liang Yuanjing’s face right in front of her.
He propped his hand on the railing in front of her and held his phone with the score-checking page right in front of her face. His slightly bent posture allowed her to clearly see every tiny pore on the tip of his nose.
Her heart pounded as if it would leap out of her chest.
This time, Tao Shuran could confirm that it was because she saw Liang Yuanjing’s eyes.
His gaze was so focused and captivating, perfectly filled with all of her.
It was the perfect fantasy scene for someone in a secret crush.
“I got in.”
Staring at the blank prompt on the score-checking page, Tao Shuran’s mind was a jumble, and even her words stumbled a bit.
She forgot all sense of distance with Liang Yuanjing and nervously grabbed his sleeve as she asked, “Liang Yuanjing, what did the teacher say last time about the top ranks having their scores shielded?”
“Top 20 in liberal arts and top 50 in sciences across the province.”
Liang Yuanjing had one hand in his pocket; even when relaxed, his back stayed perfectly straight. He probably thought she looked adorably silly right now.
A hint of smile appeared on his usually indifferent face. He leaned down, met her eyes word for word, and told her:
“Tao Shuran, you got into Qing University.”
“I got into Qing University.”
With her beautiful dream coming true, Tao Shuran trembled uncontrollably. Her eyes sparkled like they were filled with stars, and she stared at him brightly.
Liang Yuanjing turned to look ahead, but his mind lingered on that frame from just moments ago.
He had never seen Tao Shuran’s eyes so brilliantly radiant.
At this moment, all her joy and delight came from another person she liked.
The power of love was truly great.
He marveled once again.
It was only after she left that Fu Changpei slowly walked out from the end of the corridor.
“Why didn’t you check your scores?”
Liang Yuanjing said indifferently, “No interest.”
That was just his personality—indifferent to everything, especially apathetic toward emotions.
“Are you still staying at my place over summer break?”
Fu Changpei put a hand on his shoulder and teased, “Not going for that study abroad in America anymore? Isn’t it good?”
“It’s not bad; I just don’t like it.”
Liang Yuanjing raised an eyebrow, unrestrained. “I don’t like it, so no one can force me to do it.”
News of Linchuan Affiliated Middle School claiming the top scorers in both liberal arts and sciences spread throughout Fuqing City overnight.
Zhou Wu’s face nearly split from grinning. He called first thing in the morning, asking the liberal arts top scorer Tao Shuran to give a speech on stage to encourage the underclassmen.
Tao Shuran hadn’t even digested the news herself yet.
She said humbly, “No need, right, Teacher Zhou? I just got lucky.”
Lucky enough that the knowledge points for the last two math problems happened to be from the exact question Fu Changpei had explained to her the night before the exam.
She heard that question was tougher than anything in previous Gaokao years; almost no one in the province got it right. Her full score on that big problem immediately put her in the lead.
After learning the news, she called Fu Changpei right away to thank him.
Fu Changpei told her straightforwardly, “Liang Yuanjing compiled the questions. He had evening training, so he asked me to explain them to you.”
Regardless, Fu Changpei’s help with her studies over the past year had been substantial.
Tao Shuran softly said “thank you” and then asked him, “What about you? Decided on a major yet?”
Fu Changpei hadn’t done poorly either.
Though Liang Yuanjing took the science top scorer spot, with competition bonuses factored in, Fu Changpei’s score actually surpassed his.
He could pick any university in the country.
But Fu Changpei paused and said reluctantly, “Haven’t decided.”
Hadn’t his dream always been to study medicine?
Tao Shuran looked toward the window across from her. Night had fallen, and the lights at the Fu house were still on, but there was no joy from the Gaokao scores—just a dead, heavy silence over the whole family.
The next morning, Tao Shuran heard from the neighbors that Teacher Song had thrown a huge fit and smashed the TV at home.
All because Fu Changpei insisted on applying for a medical program.
Zhao Yanyun sighed, “The Fu kid’s hit his rebellious phase.”
As she spoke, she glanced at Tao Shuran meaningfully.
Tao Shuran pinched the hem of her clothes but said nothing, silently grabbing her schoolbag and heading out.
As she went downstairs, she ran into Fu Changpei taking out the trash. He wore black loungewear.
He was very reserved, different from Liang Yuanjing’s kind of aloof disregard.
Tao Shuran had heard Fu Changpei’s name as soon as she started at school.
She knew he was the school’s standout top student, the good kid with excellent character that all the neighbors praised.
She also knew he was diligent and hardworking, skipped all entertainment, and had a pair of clear, cold eyes devoid of emotion—isolated and silent.
Gentleness was just his facade; the repressive family atmosphere from losing his father had always shrouded him.
Tao Shuran sighed softly and quietly stood behind him.
Then, she witnessed something unbelievable—
In the narrow alley around the corner of the phoenix tree, Fu Changpei deftly pulled a lighter from his pocket. A scarlet flame flickered to life, and those pale, artistic slender fingers held a cigarette.
He tilted his head back, and his lean, bony collarbone rose and fell slightly amid the layers of smoke he exhaled.
Those soft, emotionless eyes froze the instant they lifted to meet hers.
Tao Shuran thoughtfully turned her head away.
“Sorry, I was just passing by.”
“No problem.”
After a while, Fu Changpei found his voice again. Perhaps because he’d just smoked, his voice had a low, husky rasp. He slowly stood, waving away the lingering smoke around them.
“Wait a bit before coming over,” he said.
Tao Shuran obediently said “okay.” She was nervous too—stumbling upon someone’s secret like this was awkward and hard to handle.
Once the smoke had mostly cleared, Fu Changpei slowly walked over.
The sun at eight in the morning blazed brilliantly. Half his face hid in the shadow cast by the alley, his lowered eyelashes distinct one by one.
Tao Shuran looked at him and softly said, “Aren’t you going to the graduation ceremony later?”
“Teacher Zhou said a lot of universities set up recruitment booths. You could check out the admission cutoffs for different majors.”
Fu Changpei said gently, “Can I go check them out?”
“Why not.”
Tao Shuran looked steadily at him. “No matter what you choose, we’ll support you.”
Fu Changpei’s gaze lingered on her face again.
He rarely scrutinized a girl like this. She wore a blue floral dress that ended just below her knees, her skin very fair, the tip of her nose gleaming in the sunlight.
Even without a big laugh, she still seemed radiant to him.
When Fu Changpei came back downstairs after changing and saw her still waiting below, his heart stirred again.
Tao Shuran gripped her schoolbag strap as she walked beside him and asked in a light tone:
“What does smoking feel like?”
“It’s bad for your body.”
Seeing her eager-to-try expression, Fu Changpei stopped, looked at her seriously, and said, “You can’t try it.”
Tao Shuran nodded, then turned to ask, “Then why did you try it?”
“Too much pressure.”
Fu Changpei said it offhandedly.
Later, seeing her clear eyes like a fierce northern winter snow, he couldn’t help but pour out his feelings.
He smiled self-mockingly. “At first, I was afraid of failing and letting people down. But even after doing well, it still hurt.”
“It’ll pass.”
Tao Shuran listened quietly as he spoke, her eyes subtly moved, as if recalling some past event of her own.
It held no pity, just pure comfort.
“Someday, you’ll be able to truly be yourself.”
Fu Changpei smiled and said “okay.” His fingers pressed on the lighter hidden in his pocket, and he remembered that evening self-study when she came to borrow it from Liang Yuanjing.
In the instant the flame lit, her face had been warm and radiant.
…
After arriving at school, Tao Shuran and Fu Changpei parted ways.
Before she reached the classroom, Zhou Wu dragged her to the office to show her off.
“Not bad, Teacher Zhou. You’ve got two top scorers under you.”
Zhou Wu pretended to be modest. “The other one doesn’t really count as mine; that’s Teacher Sun’s from Flight Class.”
Her name now stood side by side with Liang Yuanjing’s because of this.
Tao Shuran walked past the school’s Honor Wall, starting from the end and moving forward, as if seeing herself from every exam where she pushed hard to catch up.
“2018.03.13”
First mock exam, I reached the tail end of the Honor Wall.
“2018.04.12”
Just 18 spots away, getting closer to you.
“2018.05.28”
So close now, I can stand shoulder to shoulder with you.
…
I finally did it.
Tao Shuran’s eyes grew slightly wet as she thought of those endless nights of persistence, silently chanting his name.
Today, the Honor Wall finally hung photos of Liang Yuanjing and her.
The distance between their two photos was mere inches.
But she had crossed countless grueling nights of study to get here.
“Feeling smug about getting liberal arts first place, huh.”
Wen Fangfang had appeared behind her at some point, her voice almost squeezing out from her throat.
With red eyes, she said, “I like Liang Yuanjing so much. I never missed one of his basketball games, but in the end, you overtook me.”
On exam day, Wen Fangfang had cried in the classroom from nerves; several teachers took turns consoling her.
Later, when scores came out, she hadn’t done well—short of the cutoff for tier-one universities by a few points. Getting into an undergrad program in Fuqing was impossible.
She’d reportedly broken down at home several times and refused to see anyone.
Tao Shuran sighed. “Why do you always see me as a rival?”
“Wen Fangfang, liking someone means making yourself better.”
“Let the power of liking him motivate you forward, not leave you in constant fear of loss.”
Tao Shuran sincerely suggested, “If you’re not satisfied, try repeating the year.”
As long as you didn’t give up, there was always a chance to start over.
Wen Fangfang froze in place, tears suddenly spilling out. She probably hadn’t expected Tao Shuran to still be kind to her after Gaokao.
She choked out, “Sorry.”
Tao Shuran said, “It’s okay.”
Her tone was gentle, her emotions as steady as ever, but she told her seriously, “But we won’t be friends. You badmouthed me at school and threatened me with my old photos—those were bad things to do.”
Wen Fangfang lowered her eyes. “I won’t tell anyone about your secret crush on him anymore.”
“Tao Shuran, standing by his side as a friend—does that make you sad?”
Tao Shuran’s departing steps paused slightly, her heart pricked like by a needle, an unnamed emotion spreading.
“It does make me sad.”
She smiled. “But it also makes me happy.”
That weekend, Zhao Zhengnian organized a gathering to celebrate staying in Fuqing after Gaokao.
Last time, no one knew it was Tao Shuran’s birthday, so they insisted on making it up this time.
So that had been her birthday.
Liang Yuanjing stretched lazily on the sofa, his tone indolent. “How old?”
Tao Shuran said softly, “Eighteen.”
A coming-of-age ceremony—worth a big celebration.
He chuckled lightly and said offhandedly, “Younger than me.”
Zhao Zhengnian barged in boisterously, “What’s up, A Jing? Want her to call you big brother?”
Liang Yuanjing yanked the cushion from under his waist and threw it at him, laughing as he cursed, “Keep talking nonsense and you’ll pay for tonight.”
“Where’s the gift? Hand it over.”
Zhao Zhengnian scratched his head, suddenly shy at the gift-giving part.
“No experience buying gifts for girls, so I grabbed something random from the mall for you.”
There were two in the box. He casually tossed the one closer to his palm into Fang Qingyi’s lap without looking at her.
“Fang Qingyi, this one’s yours.”
Fang Qingyi yelped in pain, her struck shoulder throbbing slightly. She glared at him angrily.
“Why give me something for Ranran’s birthday?”