“2018.09.29 Light Rain”
Does secret love really lead to sweetness after bitterness?
—Excerpt from Tao Shuran’s Diary
Later, Tao Shuran really encountered a cat on campus.
It was the day before the upcoming National Day holiday. She met a cute little orange kitten under the dormitory building. It was small in size, barely qualifying as a milk kitten.
Liang Yuanjing finished his training and stopped by to see her. He spotted a tiny figure squatting in the corner by the dormitory wall.
Upon closer look, was not this his girlfriend?
October weather had turned refreshingly cool. Tao Shuran, who feared the cold, wore a knee-length trench coat. She squatted down while laboriously holding the hem of her coat, twisting her head now and then to worry about it getting dirty if it dropped.
Liang Yuanjing walked over and stood beside her, lifting the hem for her.
He casually asked, “What’s this cat’s name?”
She had just spotted the kitten; how could it have a name?
Tao Shuran thought for a moment and said solemnly, “It’s called Liang Yuanjing.”
Liang Yuanjing laughed.
“Quite the grudge-holder, little sister.”
Tao Shuran puffed out her cheeks and said nothing. She pulled a cat treat from her pocket—the one she had bought at the supermarket entrance—tore it open, and immersed herself in feeding the cat.
As she finished feeding it and stood up, she said to Liang Yuanjing, “How about you give it a name?”
“No need.”
Liang Yuanjing took out a wet wipe from his pocket to clean her hands. His eyelashes drooped naturally, and his voice was faint.
“Having a name means forming an emotional bond. Since we can’t keep it, why create that connection?”
“But I think it’s so pitiful. Even if we can’t keep it, whenever I see it, I’ll feed it.”
Tao Shuran looked down at his hand. His palm had calluses from training, roughly brushing against her tender palm.
She suddenly asked, “Liang Yuanjing, why are you so afraid of forming emotional bonds with others?”
“Are you that avoidant attachment personality type from the internet?”
“What’s that?” Liang Yuanjing rolled up the tissue and tossed it into the trash bin. He flicked her forehead. “What do you browse online all day and night?”
“You know I’m in the 3+1 training, right? I heard the training plan got moved up this year. I might have to go into closed management at the military academy right after my sophomore year.”
“If I form a connection with someone, then we’re together little and apart much. Two years later, I wave goodbye and tell them I’m heading to Jingbei. No more texts or calls after that. Even if you’re willing to travel thousands of miles to Jingbei, you still won’t see me.”
Liang Yuanjing scoffed. “Wouldn’t that make me a total jerk?”
Tao Shuran fell silent for a moment. The satisfied little kitty rubbed against her feet nonstop, wagging its tail.
The price of forming a connection with someone was half the sweet ambiguity and half the sorrow of parting—an inevitable reality.
She thought of her own future. Her eyelashes trembled as she said with a vague, evasive attitude, “We’ll talk about the future later.”
Liang Yuanjing hummed in agreement. He also felt it was pointless to think so far ahead when they had just started freshman year.
He fiddled idly with his lighter.
After a while, he heard Tao Shuran say, “Let’s call it 0713.”
Liang Yuanjing raised an eyebrow. “Putting a code on it now?”
“It’s the date!” Tao Shuran retorted, though she also thought the name was a bit odd for a kitten.
But it was a special little cat with a hint of black in its orange fur, so a special name suited it.
Liang Yuanjing tilted his head to look at her and asked, “Date? Any special meaning?”
Tao Shuran met his eyes. In that one second of eye contact, she quickly looked away and stammered, “No meaning.”
“Just thought it sounded cool for a kitten.”
Liang Yuanjing scoffed and grabbed the belt of her trench coat, pulling her closer.
Those deep, pitch-black eyes locked onto her with undeniable certainty. “Tao Shuran, you’re lying.”
Tao Shuran pressed her lips together and did not answer the question.
‘Because 0713 was the day I met you.’
The campus bustled with people hurrying by. Music blared nonstop from the auditorium next to the dormitory as they prepared for the freshman welcome after the holiday.
The school planned one last rehearsal before the break.
As an outstanding student from the neighboring arts academy, Fang Shiyue had been invited by the student council to guide the dance. She arrived at an inopportune moment and caught sight of an intimate couple whispering sweetly.
The senior who brought her smiled and asked with concern, “What’s wrong, Shiyue? Your face looks a bit pale.”
“Nothing, just ran into two old friends.”
Fang Shiyue said, “I’ll head over myself later. Let me just say hi to them.”
Tao Shuran spotted her.
The 0713 at her feet arched its back at the stranger and “whoosh”—darted into the bushes.
“Can we talk alone?” Fang Shiyue stood outside the bushes with her arms crossed in a defensive posture, though her lips trembled faintly as she spoke.
Tao Shuran vaguely understood why. She glanced at Liang Yuanjing beside her and slowly walked out from the dense shrubbery.
The grass grew thickly, with some unknown plants bearing sharp edges. As she made her way over, she twisted her body slightly. Liang Yuanjing reacted swiftly and instinctively steadied her with a hand.
Tao Shuran glanced at Fang Shiyue and hurried out, avoiding any further intimacy with him.
“Congratulations, Tao Shuran. Your secret love came true; you got what you wished for.”
Fang Shiyue smiled bitterly, tears welling in her eyes. Though the blessing was for Tao Shuran, her gaze involuntarily lingered on Liang Yuanjing waiting nearby.
In that moment, Tao Shuran felt no joy of fulfillment. Instead, she deeply empathized with Fang Shiyue’s failed secret love.
She said softly, “It hasn’t come true yet.”
“But I think I’ll always like him.”
Until someone he likes appears.
“Really? But why do I feel like he kind of likes you?”
Fang Shiyue sadly wiped her eye corner and feigned casualness. “But that’s for the best. I’m finally free.”
“I’m giving up. From now on, I’ll only date someone who likes me first.”
Secret love was truly too painful. Clinging to a hopeless emotion, Fang Shiyue suddenly realized she did not like Liang Yuanjing that much.
It was just the persistence of long-held feelings that had moved her, trapping her for so long. Now that he was dating, she actually felt profound relief.
Tao Shuran thought for a moment and said, “Still, I wish you meet someone you like and have the courage to pursue them.”
Fang Shiyue smiled—this time sincerely blessing her.
“Tao Shuran, then I wish your secret love leads to sweetness after bitterness, and you get what you wish for.”
After feeding the cat, Tao Shuran returned to the dorm. Because she had a class that afternoon, they had to wait until evening to leave.
None of her roommates were locals. They lounged on their beds packing luggage. When she returned, they swarmed her with enigmatic smiles, sizing up Tao Shuran.
Tao Shuran’s head spun from their stares. She asked what was up.
Luo Qiuya’s keyboard clacked away, her mouth never stopping.
“Ranran, you’re asking us? What were you and Liang the Campus Hunk doing downstairs just now?”
“We saw you two hugging and cuddling clear as day.”
Tao Shuran innocently pointed at herself. “Me?”
“We didn’t hug at all.”
“Still all lovey-dovey.” Luo Qiuya pulled the others in. “Shuang’er, what did you think of those two just now?”
The usually mature Lin Shuang could not help but give a thumbs-up. “The vibe was straight out of a winter K-drama.”
Tan Yueyi immediately raised her phone. “I snuck a video. I can add K-drama BGM for you.”
“Really?”
Tao Shuran leaned in skeptically. The shaky video showed her and Liang Yuanjing’s backs faintly.
She had been squatting on the ground, focused on feeding the kitten. Liang Yuanjing stood lazily beside her. The sunlight blazed; he casually raised a hand to shield the light falling on her head.
Her trench coat hem dropped; he sighed helplessly, resignedly half-bending to hold it up.
A guy nearly six feet tall awkwardly bending to match her cat-feeding pose looked pretty funny.
Tao Shuran had no idea they appeared like that from another angle.
“Can you send me this video?”
“For a memento.”
“The guy’s right there with you; why a memento?”
Tan Yueyi pushed up her glasses. While sending the video, she said, “Seriously, Ranran, you and Liang Yuanjing would be perfect for a couple vlogger account.”
Lin Shuang: “Nah, those always end in breakups. Bad luck.”
“Starts as true love, ends as scripted drama. Whatever the audience wants, they write.”
Tao Shuran propped her chin on the balcony railing, blowing in the wind. She thought melancholily that her start with Liang Yuanjing had been a scripted play from the beginning.
At three-thirty in the afternoon, they headed to the teaching building for their Marxism class.
As the last class before the holiday, the whole flight class was lax in discipline, with far fewer people attending.
During the ten-minute break midway, Luo Qiuya sighed dramatically. She said her courage was too small to skip class, or she could have gone home tomorrow.
Tao Shuran blinked. She seemed to have forgotten to ask Liang Yuanjing about his National Day plans.
As his girlfriend, she should have the right to ask a little, right?
“Why are you still watching that video?” Luo Qiuya leaned over to peek at her phone and said helplessly, “Ranran, even in class, I saw you open it three or five times.”
“You’re so love-brained. Parting for a day feels like three years apart?”
Tao Shuran guiltily pocketed her phone, a bit embarrassed. She opened her book and forced herself to focus.
Luo Qiuya grew nostalgic instead.
“But you and Liang Yuanjing are so sweet. It’s making me want to date someone. God, I should never have majored in accounting. The guy-to-girl ratio here is worse than in my high school humanities class.”
“Before college, I promised my parents no early dating. Now, I probably can’t even manage a twilight romance.”
With that thought, Luo Qiuya shot her an admiring look.
“I’ll have to call you sis from now on. Nabbing the school’s coldest, hardest-to-chase guy just months into freshman year. Impressive.”
“Ranran, you’re the real low-key master.”
Tao Shuran smiled, unsure what to say.
It was just a fluke, really.
Luo Qiuya’s eyes sparkled. “I’ve got a uniform fetish. Can you get Liang Yuanjing to introduce me to some hunks from his class?”
Tao Shuran: “Has to be flight major?”
“Yeah! You know how rigorous their screening is? Forget physique—every guy’s at least 180 cm. Not dating one in the same school would be a huge loss.”
“I’ve got photos. Wanna see?”
With that, Luo Qiuya actually pulled a small photo album from her bag and started flipping through the pictures.
Tao Shuran’s mouth twitched. “Your photos look like a sasaeng fan’s stash.”
Luo Qiuya defended herself. “Just purely loving to document handsome guys. Discovering the world’s beauty, get it?”
“We’d love to see.”
Lin Shuang and Tan Yueyi crowded in from both sides, sandwiching Tao Shuran in the middle. Suddenly, the four of them huddled intently, admiring the flight class hunks.
Tan Yueyi, a veteran of ten years of K-dramas, was especially expert at appraising handsome guys.
Spotting them, her shyness vanished as she gushed.
“This one’s hot—high browbone, deep nose bridge, mixed-race vibe. Perfect for a forced, sickly second male lead.”
“This one too—cool scholar type, super long lashes.”
“Ranran, what’s your favorite type?”
When Liang Yuanjing entered the classroom, he heard the excited chatter from the back row girls.
If not for the familiar name, he would not have stopped.
In that instant, he heard Tao Shuran ask somewhat troubledly, “Do I have to pick one?”
“Pick! Liang Yuanjing’s not here; what’re you afraid of?”
Fine.
Tao Shuran propped her chin and studied carefully. After hesitating, she picked a guy with a small mole under his eye.
Because she remembered Liang Yuanjing had a similar coffee-colored mole in the same spot.
The moment she chose, Tao Shuran felt a wave of heat press against her back.
Liang Yuanjing leaned down, his arms propped on either side of her body. He slightly narrowed his eyes and examined the pile of photos under her fingertip.
Thin, hot breaths brushed against her ear. His voice was low and laced with ambiguity.
“Which little kid got caught by me doing bad things?”