“2019.01.01 Light Rain”
Happy New Year, y.
No snow this year, and I didn’t see you either.
— Excerpt from Tao Shuran’s Diary
Lin Tingzhou snorted with laughter. “Do you know what liking someone feels like?”
Liang Yuanjing stretched his arm a bit. “Probably.”
“I don’t have the right to consider romance.”
How did he make it sound like that? It was just a few years of enclosed military training, yet in his mouth, it came out like life and death separation, doomed to lifelong solitude.
Lin Tingzhou tsked, feeling for the first time that fostering such a strong sense of moral responsibility in this kid wasn’t entirely a good thing.
Out of a woman’s emotional sensitivity, Lin Tingzhou couldn’t help but remind him. “Are you absolutely sure she has no feelings for you?”
“What if she falls for you? That’s something you have to take responsibility for with the girl.”
Liang Yuanjing tugged at his lip. “She has someone she likes.”
“There won’t be a day like that. Even if there is—”
He lifted his chin slightly, his dark, narrow eyes squinting a bit, carrying a defiant posture as he said in a resolute tone—
“I can take responsibility.”
Lin Tingzhou stood there watching him and suddenly let out a long sigh.
“Liang Yuanjing, do you know you’ve always said one thing and meant another since you were little?”
“Your grandfather retired due to health issues and could never pilot planes again. You volunteered to learn flying to fulfill his wish, but you claimed it was your own hobby—classic case of saying one thing and meaning another.”
Liang Yuanjing’s thin eyelids twitched.
In a very soft voice, he said, “Now, it really is my hobby and dream.”
“But not everything will stay in your grasp. Many things, like emotions, you only realize their value after losing them.”
Lin Tingzhou teased in a joking tone, “The kid who says one thing and means another ends up clutching an empty glass jar and crying.”
“Is that so?”
He could tell she was offering advice, but Liang Yuanjing just smiled nonchalantly, shrugged, and put on a devil-may-care rogue attitude.
“But right now, I really don’t feel that way about liking someone.”
He put on a more serious tone. “I just hope she becomes better, that she holds her head high, that she’s resolute. Even if she’s soft, she should bloom into her own flower.”
Later, once he achieved success, he could proudly announce to others—
This was the flower he had personally nurtured.
Wasn’t it similar to how Tao Shuran raised 0713?
At that thought, a bit of amusement flickered in Liang Yuanjing’s eyes. His phone rang from his pants pocket, and he gave Lin Tingzhou a greeting.
He walked out while holding the phone and didn’t forget to remind her right before answering.
“She has talent. Please look after her more.”
After leaving Lin Tingzhou’s home, Tao Shuran felt a bit listless.
Not wanting to leave a bad impression of sneaking away on her teacher, she forced herself to stay calm before leaving. She organized the materials, placed them on the desk, and edited a text message explaining her reason for leaving.
Once everything was done, Tao Shuran’s emotions finally broke free, and sadness surged over her all at once.
She hid under the bus stop shelter, tears flowing silently. Her tightly bitten lower lip lost all color.
That sentence from Liang Yuanjing—“I don’t like her”—echoed in her mind hundreds of times over.
The beliefs she had held all summer crumbled in this moment. Tao Shuran felt like she had done something utterly futile.
Liang Yuanjing did not like her.
Perhaps Liang Yuanjing would never like her.
The cruel truth shattered her fantasy bubble. On many sleepless early mornings, she tossed and turned, always wondering if they had any real chance at love.
That was why she turned to horoscopes, birth charts, star disks—childish tricks that became her tiny hopes in the darkness.
But now, before she mustered the courage to confess to him, she had already heard the answer.
The city started drizzling with heavy rain, an abrupt downpour like heaven’s response to this awful ending.
“Tao Shuran?”
Liang Yuanjing held his phone and barely made out a small silhouette in the hazy curtain of rain.
He splashed through the rainwater in a jog and sure enough saw her hunched over, hugging her knees. One side of her hair was soaked by the rain, making her look a bit disheveled.
“Found her. Hanging up now.”
“Hey? I’m telling you, don’t mention Xu Yanyang’s dating news to her. Don’t bring up the wrong pot.”
On the phone, Zhao Zhengnian was still chattering away with reminders.
Liang Yuanjing hung up abruptly. He turned his head to look at her, thinking it was too late. Judging by her state, she probably already knew the news.
He was just about to sit on the seat next to her.
Tao Shuran spoke in a glum tone. “Liang Yuanjing, let’s keep some distance between us.”
“What, other guys dating casually, and now you want distance from me?”
Liang Yuanjing let out a low scoff and propped his arms casually as he looked at her.
Tao Shuran slowly raised her head, revealing a pair of tear-swollen, poignant eyes staring at him. Her grievance was obvious.
Even Liang Yuanjing was taken aback for a moment, almost genuinely feeling like the scumbag who had let her down.
He had no tissues, so he simply took off his shirt jacket, balled it up, and shoved it into her hands.
Not gently, he said, “Wipe your tears and hair.”
Tao Shuran didn’t reach out. She looked up at him. He was born with good looks—deep eyes slightly raised. Even when cold, he seemed to bewitch people at every moment.
In that small space, in an instant, she was enveloped by his clear, crisp aura again.
Approaching was a trap, sweet yet tormenting.
Tonight, Tao Shuran’s emotions were a bit collapsed. She lowered her head and couldn’t help sobbing, pleading with him in a begging tone.
“Liang Yuanjing, do you know? The closer you get to me, the harder it is for me.”
Just because of Xu Yanyang’s dating news?
She was taking it out on him because of another man?
Liang Yuanjing pressed his tongue against his cheek and suddenly sneered.
He immediately said, “If it bothers you, we can end this relationship.”
A long silence fell in the air, the atmosphere condensing like clumps of dark clouds, pressing down oppressively.
Tao Shuran never spoke. Her lowered hair hid the look in her eyes.
She was like that most of the time—naturally inscrutable. If she didn’t want to, no one could read her restrained emotions.
Liang Yuanjing pressed his tongue against his cheek, not understanding where this surge of hostility in his heart came from. He just stayed silent and took her back to school.
At the moment of parting, he turned to leave.
Suddenly feeling a bit annoyed, his hot body temperature pressed close as he grabbed her arm.
“I’m heading to some city in the northwest for three months of enclosed training. Flight tomorrow morning—couldn’t explain clearly over the phone, so I came to say goodbye.”
“Bought a casual gift. Three months, let’s both cool off.”
His tone was cold and hard, clearly still in a bad mood.
In the wind, Tao Shuran’s tears dried on her face, her cheeks stinging. Hearing his words, her vision blurred for a moment.
So tonight, Liang Yuanjing had come specifically to say goodbye to her?
Regret suddenly welled up in her heart, followed by self-blame.
Tao Shuran bit her lower lip sadly and said softly to him—
“Liang Yuanjing, I’m sorry.”
“If you want to break up, then let’s break up.”
Liang Yuanjing glanced at her. The girl’s face was pale and awful, her swaying figure full of fragility.
In his impression, Tao Shuran was always gentle and reserved, like a quietly blooming camellia. But she kept getting heartbroken and losing composure over one man, time and again.
This shouldn’t be.
At least not for her.
Liang Yuanjing sighed, feeling the line in his heart retreat a bit more. The anger from being lashed out at had vanished. A thought kept clamoring in his mind—he seemed to have unlimited indulgence for Tao Shuran by nature.
So he looked into her eyes and said, “You never need to say sorry to me.”
“My choice is yours.”
Three months was neither long nor short.
After a winter break without Liang Yuanjing, sometimes Tao Shuran felt dazed, as if they had never met.
That summer of 2017 felt like a beautiful dream in her life.
Over these three months, she reflected on her behavior last time.
Actually, Liang Yuanjing was innocent, and that day she had lost control of her emotions, projecting her need for reciprocation from her crush onto him.
But crushes mostly had no answers, right?
From the first day, Tao Shuran had prepared herself for it to fizzle out.
She lowered her gaze and stood in a daze by the green-paint-peeling mailbox at the alley entrance.
“What are you thinking about, Tao Shuran?”
The familiar voice pulled Tao Shuran’s thoughts back. She turned and saw Fu Changpei, who had appeared at some point, and was obviously surprised.
“You’re back from school?”
“Yeah, came back to see my grandma and take over the family business a bit.”
With that, Fu Changpei pulled a green apple-flavored lollipop from his pocket like magic and handed it to her.
Tao Shuran’s eyes lit up for a moment. “My favorite flavor! Didn’t you say they were sold out when I went to your place a couple days ago?”
Fu Changpei raised a brow. “Just restocked.”
He bent down and whispered in her ear, “Got a whole big box of green apple ones.”
Tao Shuran was delighted and gave him a thumbs-up.
She looked up at him with some emotion. “It’s been a while. Feels like you’ve grown a bit taller, buddy.”
“Really?”
Fu Changpei felt a bit embarrassed by her words, his face under the black down jacket turning slightly red.
He looked away, coughed lightly, and changed the subject.
“A Jing said he still needs two more months to come back. Probably won’t see everyone this summer.”
Tao Shuran’s lashes drooped, a flash of dimness in her eyes.
Her voice dropped too.
“We haven’t chatted in a long time.”
At the mention of Liang Yuanjing’s name, the girl in front of him turned back into that dejected little bird by the mailbox.
Fu Changpei asked softly, “You two have a fight?”
Tao Shuran nodded heavily twice.
Perhaps due to his personality, Fu Changpei was great at listening. He was taciturn, rarely sharing his own feelings, but had a unique talent for comforting others.
The gloom she had bottled up over the winter break bubbled up now. As the sharer of her secret, Tao Shuran couldn’t help confiding her situation to him.
“Can’t control the urge to get close to him, but the overflowing emotions end up hurting each other.”
She sighed sincerely. “Crushes are really too painful.”
Fu Changpei nodded thoughtfully.
“Actually, A Jing is quite contradictory—aloof yet warm. The first time I met him was at the math league, a team event where you had to group up. I chose him that day, and later we became inseparable friends.”
“You just need to take one small step toward him, and you’ll find he’s actually easy to get close to.”
Tao Shuran said helplessly, “But when I get close, I start wanting more.”
“That’s how it goes.”
Fu Changpei smiled. “When I liked someone, at first I just wanted to be by her side. Gradually, I got greedy, wanting her to look at me more.”
“A crush?” Tao Shuran suddenly let out a long sigh, speaking in an emotional tone.
“Just a little thing that often makes you sad.”
Fu Changpei neither confirmed nor denied it. He shoved his hands in his pockets and suddenly chuckled softly.
The two turned their heads in tacit understanding and, in each other’s gazes, said in unison—
“But we enjoy it.”
After saying that, Tao Shuran reacted and looked at him a bit puzzled. “Wait, no, what crush are you talking about?”
Fu Changpei raised a brow, a rare vivid expression on his calm face.
He drawled slowly, “That involves another secret I can’t tell.”
Tao Shuran puffed her cheeks. “But I told you all my secrets.”
“I guessed those myself.”
He paused, then said slowly, “But I can teach you how to get closer to A Jing.”
Tao Shuran asked instinctively, “Why?”
Fu Changpei just smiled at her. His gentle, watery eyes always held many unreadable emotions, like a lingering autumn rain.
Amid the swaying, the affection he revealed was as tiny as starlight.
More than possessing, Fu Changpei hoped the girl he loved could run toward happiness.
The time of reuniting with Liang Yuanjing came later than imagined, yet more sudden than expected.
After an entire winter slipped away without any sense of presence, the parasol tree at the alley mouth sprouted tender new buds of spring once more.
Tao Shuran still spent every day the same way. She got up punctually at seven o’clock each morning, completed her class schedule, then went to the library to study methodically, slept, and waited for the next day to arrive.
Those surging, turbulent emotions gradually subsided with one person’s departure. At the same time, longing grew like vines, sprouting and entwining endlessly.
These past few days, Tao Shuran kept rereading a single message over and over. It was the only communication between her and Liang Yuanjing in all these months.
On New Year’s Day, she had sent him a “Happy New Year” under the pretext of a group message.
But regrettably, the message received no reply.
He seemed to have vanished completely from her life, leaving her ample space to calm down and solidifying the rumors of their breakup once and for all.
In the face of those probing, curious gazes, Tao Shuran mostly stayed silent.
It was not until the school forum erupted with a towering thread titled “Has Liang Yuanjing from Flight Class and Tao Shuran really broken up? No interactions seen in three months” that the reality of the breakup truly sank in.
She could no longer deceive herself.
Tao Shuran walked out of the teaching building feeling downcast, a huge stack of theoretical reference books clutched in her arms. Her dorm mates’ incessant chatter filled her ears.
As the top fangirl shipping their couple, Luo Qiuya cared about their relationship even more than Tao Shuran herself did.
“You really didn’t break up?”
Luo Qiuya asked, puzzled. “Then why have I never seen Liang Yuanjing proactively video call you? Shouldn’t couples be all clingy and lovey-dovey?”
Because they were not a real couple.
Tao Shuran brushed it off.
“Maybe the feelings have just faded,” she said.
Luo Qiuya said exasperatedly, “Ranran, you have to take the initiative, you know? Relationships are something you grasp with your own hands. If he doesn’t reach out, you go find him.”
“He’s in training. All signals are blocked, and the content is all classified.”
At that moment, Tao Shuran suddenly understood why Liang Yuanjing had insisted on staying single.
Disappearing for two or three months like this in a relationship really hurt the other person’s heart.
That was why he rejected all emotional entanglements. If you did not possess something, you could not hurt it.
“Or maybe he just got bored of it.” Lin Shuang dropped a bombshell. “I’ve heard rumors that guys with faces like Liang Yuanjing, overflowing with romantic prospects, usually get tired after three months of dating.”
The words made everyone actually calculate the timeline.
Tan Yueyi piped up softly, indignant on her behalf. “So isn’t Liang Yuanjing just using the silent treatment to force Ranran to break up?”
“That’s way too scummy.”
Seeing the conversation veering further off track, Tao Shuran worried that if it continued, Liang Yuanjing would end up painted as a total villain in their eyes.
But there were many things she truly could not explain.
She could only vaguely brush it off. “I know he’s not that kind of person.”
“You know the face but not the heart.” Lin Shuang swung her fist through the air, fuming. “Men’s hearts are the hardest to figure out.”
She got too worked up. Her fist arced halfway through the air and landed squarely on Tao Shuran’s stack of books.
Both of them cried out—Lin Shuang from the pain, and Tao Shuran from the sudden collapse of her books.
The thick reference tomes scattered down in a flurry. Several heavy ones thudded onto her instep, sending pain radiating outward.
Tao Shuran bit her lower lip and, struggling to hold the remaining books, bent down to pick them up.
Her movements were extremely labored. A few books had fallen too far for her to reach, and her fingers turned white from the effort.
In the corner of her vision, a pair of black canvas shoes appeared.
Liang Yuanjing had a bag slung loosely over one shoulder. Bathed in the glow of the setting sun, he bent down to pick up the fallen books.
A smile played on his lips as he leaned toward her, brimming with youthful energy.
The instant she saw him, Tao Shuran felt a stunned sense of reunion after a long separation.
Her eyes widened slightly. She felt her long-dormant heart slowly sprouting tender buds of spring once more.
Liang Yuanjing looked much the same as before—perhaps a bit taller, his facial contours sharper, thin lips curved faintly upward.
He leaned down fully, his usual upturned peach blossom eyes brimming with amusement. Even his tone was captivating.
“Long time no see, Tao Shuran.”
In front of everyone, Liang Yuanjing lowered his posture and asked her directly—
“I wonder if you’re still willing to be my girlfriend.”