Chapter 16: Is This What It Feels Like When the Heart is Stirred?
Fu Tangli’s eyes curved into crescents, a hint of mischief in them, but her tone was respectful and sincere as she pointed to a branch. “That branch is too high, I can’t reach it. May I ask the Daoist Master to lend a hand?”
Xuanyan did not respond. He rose to his full height, walked over, and with a slight reach of his hand, grasped the high branch and pulled it down before Fu Tangli’s eyes.
The snow on the branch rustled down, landing on the corners of her eyes and brows. Her skin was like snow, the snow like her skin. When she smiled, she looked especially clear and pure.
“What now?” Xuanyan’s voice was a little low, as if he had become more serious than before.
Fu Tangli, smiling sweetly, reached out and broke off a branch of white plum blossoms, holding it out to Xuanyan. “The Daoist Master celebrated my birthday. I have nothing to repay you with. I offer you a handful of mortal snow to express my gratitude.”
There was no ripple on Xuanyan’s face; it remained as placid as ever. He took the branch of white plum blossoms and lightly tapped it on Fu Tangli’s head, saying with reserve, “Do not imitate the vulgar and affect elegance.”
The plum blossom branch brushed past, messing up Fu Tangli’s hair and leaving two or three petals behind.
She took two steps back, leisurely smoothed her hair, her eyes dancing, a look that was neither anger nor coquetry. “How can elegance be affected? I am borrowing a thing of nature to show respect to a man of the Dao. It should be a matter of course. It is only that the Daoist Master does not understand the charm in this. So be it. The Daoist Master and I are not of one mind, we cannot speak on the same terms. Then let us not speak.”
She was also decisive. Having said she would not speak, she turned and left. From behind, her waist was straight, her steps composed, exuding an indescribable air of pride.
Only after she had walked far away did Xuanyan look down at the white plum blossom in his hand and give a faint smile.
The mountain was empty and quiet. He stood alone in the grove for a moment, until a light breeze rose. Then, holding the branch of white plum blossoms, he returned to Yunlu Temple.
A young Daoist was still sweeping snow on the steps. Withered green moss was visible by the threshold. Two or three mountain sparrows hopped about, digging for food with their small claws. It was a scene of pure tranquility.
Qingxuzi was walking past the corridor and came face to face with Xuanyan. He looked at him a few more times and said casually, “It’s rare for you to be in such a refined mood, returning with a plucked flower. This branch of plum blossoms is in full bloom. The winter chrysanthemums offered in the Hall of the Three Pure Ones have already withered. Let’s replace them with this.”
Xuanyan stopped, said nothing, and just stared coldly at Qingxuzi.
Qingxuzi knew this disciple’s identity, but he had rarely seen him so imposing. A killing aura rushed toward him, almost enough to slay him on the spot. Qingxuzi stumbled in fear, grabbing a nearby pillar for support, and said tremblingly, “If you think it’s inappropriate, then forget it. Why be angry?”
“Am I angry?” Xuanyan actually smiled.
It was even more terrifying.
Qingxuzi shivered and swallowed his anger. “Alright, I am your master. Don’t hold it against me. Go on, go on. I said nothing.”
Xuanyan nodded and said calmly, “If Master wishes to make an offering to the gods, you should pluck the flowers yourself. Only then will it show your sincere devotion. Do not come to me for them.”
“Yes, yes, you are right about everything,” Qingxuzi agreed meekly and hurried away.
Only then was Xuanyan satisfied. He slowly walked back to his room, summoned Xuan’an, and had him bring a black-glazed, willow-leaf-shaped plain vase. He placed the branch of white plum blossoms in it and set it on the table by his bed.
At night, a faint, hidden fragrance filled the air.
***
In the blink of an eye, it was New Year’s Eve.
The mountains were especially cold. It had snowed several times in succession. The roof tiles were covered in frost, and icicles hung from the eaves. The Daoists in Yunlu Temple found the scenery natural and did not bother with it. The halls and pavilions in the temple courtyard looked like a faded ink wash painting, even more ancient and worn.
On this rare New Year’s Eve, after the afternoon lessons were done, Qingxuzi was at leisure. He called a few of his disciples to drink tea with him in the back hall and lament a little.
“I remember the days when I was at Yuanzhen Palace, how glorious it was. Every year at this time, the benefactors who came to give alms would crowd the gates so much that we had to have disciples direct the traffic. It’s not like our shabby little temple now, where you can’t even see a shadow of a person. In this past year, the total incense money I’ve received is less than twenty taels, and more than half of that was earned by Xuanyan from copying scriptures. Pitiful, truly pitiful.”
Master is so bold. Xuan’an and Xundu both wiped their sweat.
Xuanyan sat in the seat of honor, calmly sipping his tea. He put down the teacup and coolly reminded Qingxuzi, “Master, it’s the New Year. For the sake of peace, you’d best not mention to me how your incense money was earned.”
Today was a good day. Qingxuzi reckoned Xuanyan wouldn’t get angry, so he was not afraid and continued to smile. “Speaking of which, that female benefactor with the surname Fu is truly a devout follower of the Dao. She comes to worship every few days. Not only does she offer incense, but she also sometimes discusses the meaning of the Daoist scriptures with this old Daoist, and has quite some insight. This old Daoist is very fond of her. Tomorrow is the New Year. Why don’t we give her a peace talisman to pray for blessings and ward off evil? It can be considered our Yunlu Temple’s way of thanking a benefactor.”
A slight flicker in Xuanyan’s eyes.
Just then, a young Daoist boy came to report from outside, “Senior Brother, His Highness the Crown Prince has arrived to escort you back to the palace for the New Year’s Eve vigil. He is waiting outside the mountain gate. Please give your instructions, Senior Brother.”
The hall suddenly fell silent.
Xuan’an and Xundu exchanged a look, then both looked at Xuanyan’s face.
Qingxuzi coughed and tactfully tried to persuade Xuanyan, “Last year at this time, you were in the northern desert. The year before, you were in Jizhou. Only this year, you are finally in Chang’an. Today is a day for reunion. It’s no wonder your family misses you. Why not go back for a gathering and fulfill the bonds of kinship?”
“I have already left the secular world. What family do I have?” Xuanyan’s face was as calm as water, showing neither joy nor anger. He said indifferently, “Relay these words to the Crown Prince and tell him to go back.”
The young Daoist boy hesitated, not daring to go.
Xuanyan raised an eyebrow. “What, did you not hear me clearly?”
The young Daoist boy was almost scared to tears.
Qingxuzi had no choice but to get up and go out with the boy to handle the situation. For a moment, no one in the hall dared to speak. Xuanyan sat there, quietly drinking his tea, not a ripple on his face.
Qingxuzi returned after a long while. He entered the room and glanced at Xuanyan. “His Highness the Crown Prince is truly a humble gentleman, as gentle as jade. Even after being turned away like that, he was not offended. On the contrary, he showed great concern for you and asked me to convey his greetings before he left.”
He sighed and added, “Xuanyan, it’s not that Master is criticizing you, but your temperament is too strange. What good is it to be so reclusive and arrogant? You’ll only earn a bad reputation for nothing. In my opinion, it’s better to be tactful and smooth in dealing with people.”
Xuanyan gave a rare smile and said slowly, “Master, what are you talking about? If I were tactful and smooth, the world would not be at peace. The way things are now, it is called tranquility and inaction, which is how everyone can be happy.”
His smile seemed gentle, but his eyes held an indescribable meaning—cold, deep, and an elusive killing aura, like the sharp edge of a blade.
Qingxuzi couldn’t help but shiver. When he came to his senses, he forced a smile, sat back down, and made himself as small as a quail, saying no more.
The disciples buried their heads in their tea.
Hundred Harmony Incense was burning in the censer, its pure fragrance meant to break through filth and dispel the old. At this moment, the smoke spread out. Because the people in the hall were silent and still, it gradually grew thick, winding like a light gauze among the lotus banners.
Xuanyan’s gaze swept nonchalantly through the smoke, and he suddenly spoke again. “By the way, Master, what were you saying just now?”
Qingxuzi stammered, “Oh, I said your temperament is too strange. I was wrong…”
“No, the sentence before that.”
Qingxuzi hesitated. “Uh, His Highness the Crown Prince is a humble gentleman…”
“The one before that.” Xuanyan’s face began to darken.
Qingxuzi thought hard for a moment, and then inspiration struck. He quickly said, “Oh, I was talking about giving a peace talisman to the female benefactor.”
Xuanyan’s expression softened slightly, but his tone was arrogant. “The female benefactor is so devout and has offered so much incense. A single peace talisman would make people laugh at how shabby our Yunlu Temple is. I would feel quite disgraced.”
Qingxuzi studied Xuanyan’s face and said hesitantly, “Then shall we give her a few more scrolls of Daoist scriptures?”
“What would she do with Daoist scriptures?” Xuanyan’s gaze was clearly impatient.
Qingxuzi was about to start sweating again. “Then, then, then what should we do?”
Xuanyan looked at Qingxuzi, his face expressionless. “She is a weak young lady, praying for her ancestors, living alone in the mountains. In such a situation, you, as a man of the Dao, should have compassion for all living beings. How can you still come and ask me?”
“Hm?” Qingxuzi was a little dazed. He didn’t quite understand Xuanyan’s words. He repeated them, trying hard to decipher the meaning between the lines. “A weak young lady, praying for her ancestors, living alone in the mountains…”
“That’s right. Living alone in the mountains, with no family to rely on,” Xuanyan prompted slightly.
“Uh, with no family to rely on?” Qingxuzi was so anxious he was pulling at his beard. “And then?”
It was Xuan’an who was clever. Having served by Xuanyan’s side for a long time, he could more or less figure things out. He tentatively interjected, “Since the female benefactor is so pitiful, we, as men of the Dao, should have compassion. How about this? On New Year’s Eve, we invite her over to the temple to offer a stick of incense and have a vegetarian meal, so she can be blessed by the Three Pure Ones patriarchs. Wouldn’t that be better than a peace talisman?”
Xuanyan lifted his chin with reserve and said indifferently, “I was just mentioning it in passing. This matter is for Master to consider. It has nothing to do with me.”
How can such a pretentious person exist in this world?
Qingxuzi wanted to give Xuanyan a good beating, but he didn’t dare. He could only get up again and say with resignation, “Yes, Xuan’an is absolutely right. I, your master, will go and invite the female benefactor over right now. In this ten-li radius, she is the only household. To be neighbors is to be fated. It would be livelier to be together.”
The old Daoist left with the young Daoist boy again.
Xuan’an was very resourceful. He led a few of his junior brothers to fetch water and prepare tea. The water had to be melted from the snow on the pine needles at the mountaintop, and the tea had to be this year’s tribute Yangxian tea from Yixing. To show the solemnity of the occasion, he also found a set of plum-colored Yingqing teacups.
Xundu followed behind, tugged on Xuan’an’s sleeve, and said in a low voice, “Senior Brother likes his peace and quiet. Yet you suggest inviting an outsider over, to be noisy and boisterous. Be careful not to displease him.”
“What do you know?” Xuan’an secretly pointed at Xuanyan and whispered, “Look, Senior Brother is only twenty-three, yet he’s like an old man at the end of his life, trapping himself in this small space, not even saying a few words. What’s the point? Since that female benefactor came, Senior Brother has been getting angry more often, and he’s been talking more. Isn’t that a good thing?”
Xundu couldn’t see what was so good about it. It was the New Year, and he didn’t want to argue with Xuan’an. He shook his head and clicked his tongue twice.
Xuanyan sat quietly, drinking his tea.
After the time it takes for two incense sticks to burn, Qingxuzi returned. But behind him was still only the young Daoist boy.