Chapter 26: How Long Will You Keep Me Locked Up? p2
The sedan chair swayed for a long time. At one point, they seemed to have crossed a body of water. Fu Tangli heard the sound of flowing water. Occasionally, a breeze would blow through the curtain, brushing against her cheek, carrying a fresh scent. She thought that they had probably left Chang’an. She didn’t know if it was the Wei River to the north of the city or the Feng River to the west, which made her even more uneasy.
They traveled for a very long time, so long that Fu Tangli couldn’t tell how much time had passed. Just as her mind was beginning to grow groggy, the sedan chair finally stopped.
Someone came forward to help Fu Tangli out of the sedan chair. It was the same female servant’s voice. “We have arrived. My Lady, please.”
Fu Tangli had no choice but to follow the female servant forward.
After a few steps, they probably entered a building. The female servant led Fu Tangli to a seat and then withdrew.
There was no one around. It was spring, and the faint sound of insects could be heard outside the window, like fine sand, a silence that was unsettling.
Fu Tangli couldn’t see anything, and her hands couldn’t move. This situation heightened her anxiety. She hesitantly stood up and slowly took two steps.
In the hazy darkness, she smelled the scent of white plum blossoms, mixed with the bitter fragrance of ebony, like the deep mountains, where fierce white snow covered the harsh winter.
How close did one have to be to smell his scent?
Fu Tangli was suddenly alarmed. She stumbled back, almost falling.
A pair of large hands supported her shoulders, strong and powerful. The man easily pulled her closer. The scent of white plum blossoms brushed against her ear, like frost on her face.
“Lihua,” he called her so intimately, but his voice was low, with an indescribable, dangerous tone. “Come, now tell me, who are you? And who am I?”
The man’s majestic and grim aura enveloped her like a mountain, almost making Fu Tangli collapse.
“I was wrong.” Fu Tangli did not hesitate and immediately admitted defeat. “Everything in the past was a mistake. I know my mistake now and will surely repent and turn over a new leaf in the future. I only ask the Daoist Master to spare me.”
“Repent and turn over a new leaf?” Zhao Shangjun repeated, his voice seeming even colder. “Is that all?”
“What does the Daoist Master want?” Fu Tangli’s voice grew even softer as she cautiously probed, “How can I appease your anger?”
Zhao Shangjun made a sound from his nose, like a laugh, but the laugh was extremely cold.
His fingers slowly slid over, as if playing with some object, from Fu Tangli’s shoulder to her neck, a long, slender neck that was as soft as a spring cattail under his fingers.
He gripped her neck. With just one hand, he had complete control over her. Her pulse throbbed violently under his palm, like a newborn bird, warm and tender. It feels good, he thought to himself, and slowly tightened his grip.
Breathing became difficult. Fu Tangli was terrified. She couldn’t help but tilt her head back, letting out a broken gasp.
The sound was also like a bird, a faint “ying ying.”
The vulnerability she inadvertently revealed seemed to please Zhao Shangjun.
He relaxed his grip slightly. His fingers continued to move upward, pinching her chin. The pads of his fingers were rough, with a layer of calluses like sand, making her tremble uncontrollably.
“You are very beautiful, very much to my liking,” he said, holding her face, without any emotion, as if commenting on the grass and trees by the roadside.
Fu Tangli forced a smile. “Thank you for your appreciation, Daoist Master.”
“Do you know what I’m thinking?” he asked coolly.
Fu Tangli tried to answer as respectfully as possible, not to anger him. “Forgive my foolishness, I dare not guess the Daoist Master’s thoughts.”
“Mm, I’m thinking, should I take this pretty little head off?” Zhao Shangjun’s fingertips brushed against Fu Tangli’s skin, without a trace of warmth, but with a cold scrutiny, a beast toying with its prey, probably wondering where to take the first, most delicious bite. “And place it on my desk. In the future, when I want to see you, I can just look up and see you, so you won’t repeatedly miss our appointments and displease me.”
Fu Tangli’s hair was about to stand on end. “Inappropriate, inappropriate. I think that is very inappropriate.”
At this moment, her voice was soft and docile, showing absolute sincerity. “If the head is taken off, it will rot and mold in a couple of days. It might even grow worms. The Daoist Master has always been fond of cleanliness and will surely not like it. It would be better to leave it on my neck. I will wash my hair and face every day and keep it clean. When the Daoist Master wants to see it, it’s better to see a living, fresh one.”
“Oh, is that so?” Zhao Shangjun’s voice was low, clearly not agreeing, as if he were still sizing up her head and neck.
“Of course it is.” Fu Tangli’s voice grew lower, with a slight tremor. “I am timid and easily frightened. I beg the Daoist Master to remember our past friendship and spare me this once.”
Zhao Shangjun laughed again, coldly. “What friendship do we have to speak of? You’re just trying to curry favor.”
“The peace talisman the Daoist Master gave me is still on my door at home. Every time I see it, I always remember the quiet and peaceful days in the mountains, sitting and drinking tea with you. I thought we had some old friendship. If the Daoist Master does not acknowledge it, then so be it. I was being presumptuous,” Fu Tangli said in a soft, delicate voice.
Zhao Shangjun was silent for a long time before he spoke. “You haven’t changed your bad habits. Your words are clever and your expression is pleasing.” But as he said this, he seemed to have been soothed by her words. He raised his hand and untied the silk scarf blindfolding her.
After such a long time, she could finally see again. Fu Tangli couldn’t help but blink.
It was the Shen hour when she left, but now it was already dusk. The candles were not yet lit, the setting sun was about to sink, and the daylight was thick, filtering through the window lattice. It fell on Zhao Shangjun’s face. His features were like a masterpiece of ink wash painting, so handsome they were almost sharp, making one not dare to look directly at him.
When she couldn’t see, Fu Tangli had been a little afraid. Now that she could, she was even more afraid. She remained calm, took half a step back, lowered her eyes, and explained to him in a soft, delicate voice, “Two days ago, my aunt happened to return home and wouldn’t let me go, which delayed me. By the time I rushed to Changfeng Pavilion, you had already left.”
Zhao Shangjun was still and silent, just staring at her coldly.
Fu Tangli secretly glanced at Zhao Shangjun, trying to read his expression, but it was unreadable. That probably meant he wanted her to continue. She braced herself and stammered, “As for that time… at Yunlu Temple, I was drunk, and my tolerance for alcohol is poor. I don’t know what nonsense I said that made you misunderstand. I don’t remember it very clearly… Later, I should have explained it to you face to face, but, um… there was something at home, and I left in a hurry…”
Zhao Shangjun listened in silence. His face was expressionless, but the color of his eyes grew darker and darker, his gaze as cold and sharp as a blade, almost piercing through her.
Fu Tangli’s heart trembled, and beads of sweat appeared on her forehead. Her voice grew smaller and smaller, until it faded into nothing.
“And then? Continue,” Zhao Shangjun said, word by word.
Fu Tangli hesitated for a moment, then lowered her head, not looking at his eyes, and said in a small voice, “…Um, and also, my hands hurt.”
Her hands were still tied behind her back.
Zhao Shangjun was silent. He grabbed Fu Tangli. His movements were forceful and rough. With just one pull, he snapped the rope and tossed it aside.
Once she was free, Fu Tangli quickly shrank to the side, far away from him, rubbing her wrists. After a moment’s consideration, she said softly, “Speaking of which, I didn’t intentionally deceive you, Daoist Master. My surname is Fu, my given name is Lihua. I went to Mount Qinghua to burn incense and pray for my elders. All of that is true. Even if there were some misunderstandings in between, I am not guilty of a heinous crime. Now that I’ve admitted my mistake and apologized, why is the Daoist Master still angry?”
As she finished, her voice grew softer, her tone slightly drawn out. The young lady probably didn’t realize it herself, but whenever she spoke to the Daoist Master in this tone, it always carried a hint of coquetry.
But Zhao Shangjun seemed unmoved. He brushed his lapels, sat down, and said indifferently, “I am petty.”
With just that one sentence, he blocked all of Fu Tangli’s subsequent words. She bit her lip. After a long while, she asked cautiously again, “Then when can I go home?”
Zhao Shangjun glanced at her, his eyes deep. “You once told me that the world is vast, and you have no home to return to. I will take your words as the truth. In that case, I am here. You can consider this place your home.”
Fu Tangli’s eyes widened.
But Zhao Shangjun’s figure was tall and sturdy, his bearing majestic. He was still wearing the bicheng-colored wide Daoist robe, sharp and noble, like a celestial being. Just sitting there, the shadow he cast exuded a powerful aura of control.
Fu Tangli hesitated for a long time but ultimately didn’t dare to question him. Her shoulders slumped, a look of dejection on her face, and she murmured, “How long will you keep me here?”
“A year, two years,” Zhao Shangjun said, propping his cheek on his hand, his head slightly tilted, an arrogant and languid posture. “Or ten years, twenty years. I can’t say for sure right now. Since you’re reluctant to have just your head taken off, you can leave your whole person here for now. I will take care of you. Isn’t that good?”
Not good. Very not good.
Fu Tangli had been submissive for a long time, only to receive such a reply. She was both angry and anxious, but facing Zhao Shangjun, she never had the courage to confront him directly. This feeling of frustration made her eyes well up. She didn’t want to show any more weakness in front of him, so she could only turn her face away, press her lips tightly together, and not say another word.
The setting sun went down, and the sky darkened.
Zhao Shangjun clapped his hands twice, and immediately, maids entered in a line, lighting the candles one by one.
Dozens of half-person-high bronze cranes held lamp branches, the candlelight clear and bright. A painted screen was half-closed, a pearl curtain hung low, and a soft silk gauze covered the crabapple window lattice. The shadows of the light overlapped. This was a wide and lofty room, as magnificent as a palace.
Over a dozen maids lined up and bowed to Fu Tangli. “Greetings to Lady Fu.”
Zhao Shangjun stood up and extended his hand to Fu Tangli. “It’s getting late. Come, dine with me.”
“I’m not hungry,” Fu Tangli said sullenly.
“Come.” Zhao Shangjun took a step forward and repeated, his voice growing lower.
The maids on the side were as silent as cicadas in winter, their heads bowed low.
Fu Tangli let out a long breath and sadly discovered that her backbone was not that strong. She slowly shuffled over and squeezed out a perfunctory “Mm,” as an agreement.
“Hand,” Zhao Shangjun said simply.
Almost no one in this world could defy his command, at least not Fu Tangli. She lowered her eyes, hesitated, and held out her hand.
Zhao Shangjun’s palm was large, broad and solid. He quickly enclosed her fingers, pulled her, and walked out.
Fu Tangli had no choice but to follow behind Zhao Shangjun.
I don’t know if it was because of nervousness or because his palm was too warm, but a little sweat appeared on the tip of Fu Tangli’s nose. She secretly glanced at Zhao Shangjun. He was holding her very tightly, but the expression on his face was indifferent, just as it was at Yunlu Temple, without a trace of worldly air.
Fu Tangli thought for a long time but couldn’t figure out where Daoist Master Xuanyan’s obsession came from. She could only attribute it to the Daoist Master being overly proud and not tolerating others’ slights. Her two missed appointments had probably earned his resentment.
Thinking this, Fu Tangli grew even more depressed. Although it was the first time in her life that a man had held her hand, at this moment, there was not a single ripple in her heart, only a heavy feeling.
They quickly passed through the corridor and arrived at the front hall. Servants naturally came forward to greet them.
This place was also beautifully decorated, with carved beams and painted rafters, vermilion railings and jade steps. The furnishings were all luxurious. But on the table was a spread of purely vegetarian dishes. A white jade and gold-inlaid bowl held tofu, a clear-water jadeite plate held yellow-sprout cabbage, and a glazed crystal dish was piled with spring bamboo shoots. That was all.
Zhao Shangjun and Fu Tangli sat down. A servant brought the main course, which was just ordinary white rice, piled high in the bowl.
Fu Tangli was a little uneasy and looked at Zhao Shangjun.
The Daoist Master was as taciturn as ever. He washed his hands with orchid soup and began to eat.
Fu Tangli picked up her jade chopsticks and took two small bites.
The tofu was just plain tofu, without any sauce or seasoning. The yellow-sprout cabbage was lightly dressed, without a trace of oil. The spring bamboo shoots were tender, but they didn’t even have salt.
The Earl of Xining’s residence governed Weizhou and owned a silver mine. Their family was extremely wealthy. Old Madam Han had raised Fu Tangli with great care and affection. It wasn’t that she was being ungrateful now, but her palate had been spoiled since she was a child, and she couldn’t swallow this bland food.
He said he would take care of her. Is this how he plans to do it? Fu Tangli looked at Zhao Shangjun again, suspecting that he was deliberately tormenting her.
But the Daoist Master was eating quietly, showing no abnormality. This man had a large appetite and ate with a refined and quick manner. In just a short while, a bowl of rice was empty, and a servant quickly brought a second bowl.
Fu Tangli let out a long, silent sigh. She picked up her jade chopsticks and reluctantly picked at a small vegetable leaf.
Zhao Shangjun said coldly, “Eat properly. Don’t peck at your food like a little chick, picking and choosing.”
Fu Tangli’s words were insincere. She said dryly, “The Daoist Master is so mighty. Sitting at the same table, my heart is filled with trepidation, and I dare not eat.”
“Nonsense,” Zhao Shangjun said, unperturbed.
Fu Tangli thought for a moment and said tactfully, “The desire for food and drink is natural. The Daoist Patriarch said, ‘There are four great things in the domain, and man is one of them. The Dao follows nature.’ Why doesn’t the Daoist Master follow it?”
Zhao Shangjun’s expression was cool. “I am a monk in cultivation and need to maintain a quiet heart. Food, drink, men, and women are all worldly desires. Those that disturb my mind, I cannot indulge in.”
Fu Tangli couldn’t help but say, “In that case, the Daoist Master should be without desire or thought. Your previous desire to marry me, isn’t that a violation of the Daoist heart? It is greatly inappropriate.”
Zhao Shangjun gave Fu Tangli a deep look. “You said you were drunk at the time and don’t remember clearly. How is it that you remember my wanting to marry you?”
Fu Tangli regretted her slip of the tongue and sheepishly tried to remedy it. “I had forgotten. Now that I’ve spoken a few more words with you, Daoist Master, I’ve recalled a little, but it’s all hazy. It’s just that I was born foolish and my memory is not very good. I ask the Daoist Master to be considerate.”
“Do you always like to lie like this?” Zhao Shangjun asked calmly.
“No,” Fu Tangli instinctively retorted, but meeting his gaze, she felt a lack of confidence and slightly turned her face away. “My character is upright, and my reputation in the capital is quite good. The Daoist Master must not misunderstand me.”
“Very good.” Zhao Shangjun nodded and said slowly, “So, you don’t lie to others, only to me?”
Whatever she said was wrong. Fu Tangli completely shut her mouth, lowered her head, and silently began to count the grains of rice.
Fortunately, Zhao Shangjun did not pursue the matter further. He said nothing, stood up, and left.
For a moment, there was silence. Fu Tangli was sullen and didn’t eat much. She put down her bowl and chopsticks. A maid led her back to her room.
At night, when she went to bed, a group of maids stood guard outside the flower-patterned screen. Through the pearl curtain, their shadows could be vaguely seen. Fu Tangli stared for a long time but saw no slackening in their guard, no chance of escape. Needless to say, she was depressed. She tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep soundly.
***