Chapter 29: I’m No Good, Don’t Like Me
Zhao Shangjun didn’t speak. He raised his hand and pointed vaguely in the direction of the ferry crossing they had just left.
Fu Tangli followed the direction of his finger, but saw nothing, only the distant lights reflected in the river, a blurry patch.
The night was quiet.
She glanced at Zhao Shangjun, her eyes questioning.
Zhao Shangjun’s fingers tapped twice on the low table.
Suddenly, a bang from the distance shattered the night.
Fu Tangli looked up.
On the river island, at the ferry crossing, fireworks bloomed against the night sky.
Golden, silver, and colored, countless sparks soared up, in clusters and sheets, intertwining, like a surging river of stars, like a cascade of fireworks, like the most passionate mortal world, the grandest splendor. Fiery trees and silver flowers lit up the river and sky, turning night into day.
Fu Tangli’s eyes widened. She was a little dazed, not even noticing when the hand warmer slipped from her grasp. Her palms were burning hot. She secretly pulled them into her sleeves and clenched them tightly.
Zhao Shangjun remained silent for a long time, until the river of fireworks gradually faded, leaving only a few scattered stars dancing on the river’s surface, in a beautiful disarray.
He stood up again, straightened his lapels, brushed off the non-existent dust, and looked down at Fu Tangli, his bearing cool and aloof, still the proud Daoist Master untouched by the mortal world.
“On the Lantern Festival night last year, we were disturbed by external forces and could not watch the fireworks. I said then that I would grant you another fireworks display. Today, I am fulfilling that promise.” His tone was placid as he said this, betraying no emotion.
Those were careless words then, and Fu Tangli had long since forgotten them. To have them brought up so suddenly, she didn’t know what to feel. She murmured, “Thank you. It really wasn’t necessary.”
Her voice was so low that even she herself could barely hear it.
Zhao Shangjun took something out from his sleeve and tossed it over.
Fu Tangli subconsciously caught it. In the moonlight, she saw that it was a small pouch, made entirely of interconnected pearls, its luster radiant. At the opening was a tassel made of rubies, exquisite and delicate. She looked up at Zhao Shangjun and opened the pouch.
It was full of candies, each one wrapped in semi-transparent silk, of various styles, small and exquisite, with a pleasant, rich, and sweet fragrance.
“Leave them for now. Eat them after you’ve recovered,” Zhao Shangjun said, his expression still authoritative, as if not allowing for any defiance.
She was no longer a child, yet someone was still using this to coax her. Fu Tangli had wanted to smile, but she couldn’t. She could only lower her head, let out a soft “Mm,” and tuck the candies into her bosom.
Zhao Shangjun’s skill at rowing was probably not very good. The black-canopied boat creaked and groaned as it moved slowly toward the opposite bank.
The river of stars and the bright moon, the boat passed through the celestial light, the water rippling, taking a long time to calm.
Fu Tangli sat in the cabin, looking at Zhao Shangjun’s back, and called out softly, “Daoist Master… Xuanyan.”
Zhao Shangjun did not respond.
“Let me tell you, I’m really not a good person at all,” she said slowly, her tone gentle. “I’m selfish and cold, I only look out for myself, I’m hypocritical and affected, I put on an act in front of others, but in reality, I’m full of lies. My temper is also stubborn, and I’m reckless when I’m being foolish. I’m terrible.”
Zhao Shangjun did not turn back, his tone steady. “I know.”
“So, don’t like me.” Fu Tangli’s voice was very low, and she said it very seriously. “I’m not worth it.”
This time, Zhao Shangjun did not answer. He pulled on the oar, and a loud splashing sound came from the river. The boat rocked, and a fish, startled, seemed to leap over the bow. With a splash, a glimmer of light flashed across the river’s waves.
And so, there was a long silence again.
Before long, the black-canopied boat reached the bank, where people were already waiting.
A large, magnificent carriage was parked at the ferry crossing, with a group of iron-armored soldiers guarding on both sides. Seeing the boat arrive, they immediately came forward to greet them.
Zhao Shangjun helped Fu Tangli off the boat. A maid ran out from behind the waiting soldiers, almost throwing herself at Fu Tangli.
“My Lady! My Lady! I’ve finally found you! I was so worried! Are you alright?”
It was Yanzhi, still as boisterous as ever, but she was quickly stopped by someone at her side.
Seeing that Yanzhi was unharmed, Fu Tangli’s heart relaxed. She made a “shh” gesture to her, signaling her to be calm.
A woman alighted from the carriage. She was old, but her bearing was refined, noble, and extraordinary.
Fu Tangli recognized her as the Princess of An and broke out in a cold sweat. She lowered her head in a futile attempt to hide, covering half of her face with her sleeve.
Zhao Shangjun showed the proper respect to the Princess of An, cupping his hands in a bow. “The Fifth Prince has been rude, troubling Imperial Aunt to come out so late at night. I am most uneasy and will come to apologize in person another day.”
The Princess of An didn’t even look at Fu Tangli, as if she weren’t there. She just sighed, patted Zhao Shangjun’s arm, and started to say something, but then stopped. “You child, you just had to…”
Had to what? The Princess of An did not continue.
Zhao Shangjun was as taciturn as ever. A soldier beside him brought over a black warhorse. He swung himself onto the horse and immediately galloped away.
The Princess of An watched Zhao Shangjun leave. She then turned to Fu Tangli and said coldly, “Get in.”
She got into the carriage, and Fu Tangli had no choice but to follow.
The carriage began to move. In the quiet night, the wheels rumbled, and there was the swish, swish sound of the soldiers walking on either side. No one spoke. It was too quiet.
The Princess of An sat directly opposite Fu Tangli, staring at her, her gaze not at all friendly. The Princess of An had always had a reputation in the imperial family for being warm and kind. Fu Tangli had met her twice before and had spoken a few words with her. The Princess of An had been very amiable, completely unlike she was now.
Fu Tangli naturally knew the reason for this. She lowered her head, and lowered it again, until her head was almost buried in her chest.
After a long while, the Princess of An nodded. “The Fifth Prince has been a monk for many years and was originally detached from the mortal world. This time, he invited the Prince of An and me to make a special trip to Mount Qinghua to formally propose marriage for him. I was originally very curious, wondering which young lady was so capable as to stir his worldly heart. Seeing you today, indeed, the Second Lady Fu is virtuous and proper, worthy of being the Crown Princess designated by His Majesty. Very good.”
The old lady’s sarcasm was not at all polite, and Fu Tangli really had nothing to say in her defense. She hadn’t even known that Zhao Shangjun had actually asked his elders to go and propose marriage. Now that she heard it, it all felt absurd, and she couldn’t sort out the myriad of feelings in her heart.
Seeing that Fu Tangli did not respond, the Princess of An restrained herself, but finally couldn’t hold back and said earnestly, “The Fifth Prince has instructed me not to say much. Now, I will only offer you one piece of advice, Second Lady Fu. One should not be too presumptuous. The sons of the Zhao clan are not for you to trifle with. In the future, you had best turn over a new leaf and serve the Crown Prince with all your heart. Otherwise, you will eventually bring disaster upon your entire family. You’d best be careful.”
Although the Princess of An’s attitude was harsh, her words were indeed reasonable.
Fu Tangli lowered her eyes and replied in a low voice, “Yes.”
After that, there was silence.
The carriage reached the city gate. Someone with the token of the Grand General of the Gate Guards had the gate opened. They passed through without obstruction. Inside Chang’an, the curfew was already in effect. When they encountered the Jinwu Guard on patrol and saw that it was the Prince of Huai’s men escorting the Princess of An, they didn’t dare to ask any questions and all made way.
And so, they arrived at the Fu residence. Fu Tangli got out of the carriage.
Hearing the servants’ report, Fu Fangxu hurried out of the main gate to greet them. “My granddaughter is ignorant of the rites, asking to return so late at night and troubling Your Highness to escort her. It is most improper. It is this old man’s failure to teach her. I am ashamed, ashamed.”
The Princess of An now appeared gentle again. She sat in the carriage, her posture graceful, and nodded with a smile. “Lord Fu need not worry. Your second granddaughter is quite likable. I had intended to keep her for a few more days to discuss the Daoist scriptures with me, but she is ill and homesick, which is only natural. I had her sent back quickly to recuperate. It will not be too late to gather again when she is free in the future.”
Fu Fangxu was repeatedly modest and exchanged a few more pleasantries with the Princess of An. Because the hour was late, it was not convenient to keep a guest. Before long, the Princess of An left.
Over there, Dailuo had already run out and, with Yanzhi, supported Fu Tangli, her face full of worry. “My Lady, I heard you were ill at the Prince of An’s residence. How are you now? Walk slowly.”
Fu Fangxu was about to say a few more words to Fu Tangli. “The Princess of An has always been aloof and rarely socializes with people. It is a rare opportunity for her to be willing to befriend you. Come to the study with your grandfather. Grandfather has some more questions for you.”
Fu Tangli leaned on Dailuo’s shoulder, stumbled, and said weakly, “Grandfather, I am not yet fully recovered from my illness. I’m afraid I will pass the illness to you. Please allow me to report to you in detail later.”
Only then did Fu Fangxu relent. “That’s right. Grandfather was almost negligent. You go back and rest first. We’ll talk in a few days.”
And so, he called for the servants and, with Dailuo and Yanzhi, helped Fu Tangli away.
Back in her room, Fu Tangli lay down on her own bed, dismissed the servants, and, smelling the familiar scent of incense in the room, finally felt her body and mind relax. She couldn’t help but let out a long breath.
Dailuo was still complaining about Yanzhi. “It’s all your fault for being lazy and not taking good care of My Lady. In just two days, you let her get sick. You deserve a beating.”
Yanzhi paid no mind to Dailuo. She nervously looked outside, waved for the servants in the corridor to move further away, and closed the door. Then she leaned in by the bed and asked Fu Tangli in a small voice, “My Lady, I just saw Daoist Master Xuanyan escorting you back, and I also saw him speaking with the Princess of An. What on earth is going on?”
Fu Tangli covered her face with her hand and said weakly, “That is His Highness, the Prince of Huai.”
It was truly a clap of thunder.
Yanzhi and Dailuo were both dumbfounded and couldn’t recover for a long time.
Fu Tangli managed to sit up and first asked Yanzhi, “Where have you been these two days? Did they make things difficult for you?”
Yanzhi composed herself and shook her head. “It was alright. That group of people took me to a villa and kept me under guard. The food and expenses were all good, but I couldn’t move about freely. It was only tonight that they suddenly brought me to the bank of the Wei River, and then I saw you, My Lady.”
As she spoke, she took out a few packets of medicine from her sleeve. “Oh, right, and this. They instructed me that this is My Lady’s medicine. One dose a day, for three more days. My Lady, can this medicine be used?”
Fu Tangli was silent for a moment, then slowly nodded. “Mm, use it.”
She then asked Dailuo, “What was the story outside while I was gone for two days?”
Dailuo replied, “That day you went to Songshi Tang to buy things, not long after you left, the steward from the Prince of An’s residence came over and said that the Princess of An had met you by chance at Songshi Tang and that you had hit it off while discussing Daoist scriptures, so she had taken you back to the Prince of An’s residence to keep her company for two days.”
The Prince of An was the current emperor’s uncle and also the Minister of the Court of the Imperial Clan. His status and power were both considerable, and the Princess of An had enough face. With this explanation, no one in the Fu family suspected anything. For now, everything was fine, and no one else had been alarmed.
Fu Tangli couldn’t help but touch her chest, a great weight lifted. She then lay down again, exhausted.
Dailuo was a clever one. Without Fu Tangli needing to explain in detail, she had already guessed most of it. Her heart was in her throat, and her voice trembled with nervousness. “My Lady, were you captured by the Prince of Huai these past few days? He wasn’t rude to you, was he? Are you alright?”
Fu Tangli closed her eyes and helplessly spat out two words: “Shut up.”
It seems she’s alright.
Dailuo breathed a sigh of relief, then immediately started nagging again. “I told you not to get too involved with that Daoist. You just wouldn’t listen. Look, you’ve hit a hard rock. How will this end?”
“Alright, stop talking,” Fu Tangli opened her eyes and put on a stern face. “From now on, you are not to mention Daoist Master Xuanyan again. Not a single word about him. Just pretend he doesn’t exist. Do you understand?”
How could Yanzhi and Dailuo not obey? They quickly agreed.
Fu Tangli was vexed. She turned over, and something fell from her bosom. She felt for it and saw that it was the pearl pouch full of candies.
She was stunned for a moment, then tossed it to Yanzhi. “Take it.”
Yanzhi glanced at it and discussed with Dailuo, “There are a lot of candies in here. They won’t keep for long. The pouch is valuable, though. Where should we put it? Should we put it with My Lady’s jewelry?”
Dailuo whispered in Yanzhi’s ear, “I’ve never seen this thing before. It’s probably from that… person. Don’t keep it. Throw it away.”
Fu Tangli heard this, thought for a moment, sighed, stood up, and took the pearl pouch back from Yanzhi. She poured out the candies inside and had Yanzhi distribute them to the junior maids outside. Then she put the pouch in a box, together with a scroll of Daoist scripture.
Tucked within the pages of that scripture scroll were still three talismans.
***
The sky was clear for no more than two days before it started to rain intermittently again, a constant drizzle that knocked all the magnolia blossoms from the branches to the ground. No one picked them up. The fragrance withered and gradually rotted. Even in spring, there could be such a desolate scene, which made one feel a sense of melancholy.
Yang-shi was keen to befriend Fu’s aunt and frequently went to visit her. She had wanted to take Fu Tangli along to make a good impression, but the moment Fu Tangli stepped out into the wind, she would cough up a storm, her body teetering. Yang-shi was disappointed and had to let her go, taking Fu Shaoyao with her instead.
However, one day, someone came from the palace with an order from the Empress Dowager Feng, summoning Fu Tangli to go with her to Yuanzhen Palace to offer incense. The matter was sudden. Fu Tangli was puzzled but didn’t dare to feign illness any longer. She quickly dressed and, pulling herself together, went with the messenger.
First, they went to the Empress Dowager Feng’s Changle Palace. Fu Tangli waited alone in the outer room for half an hour, with no one paying her any mind.
At the Si hour, Zhao Yuanjia came over, and only then did the Empress Dowager Feng appear. Seeing Fu Tangli, she just gave her a cool glance.
The Empress Dowager Feng was usually unapproachable, and today, she seemed to be in a particularly bad mood.
Fu Tangli’s palms were sweating. She lowered her eyes, being extra careful.
As the eldest son and eldest grandson, Zhao Yuanjia had always been uniquely favored. He was very casual in front of his grandmother and said, “If the Empress Dowager wants to offer incense, your grandson can accompany you. Why call an outsider?”
Only in front of Zhao Yuanjia did the Empress Dowager Feng show a kind smile. She patted his hand but did not answer him directly. Instead, she said, “Last night, aijia dreamed of your Imperial Grandfather and couldn’t help but miss him. Today, I want to go to Yuanzhen Palace to burn incense for him. You can accompany aijia.”
Spring brought a lot of rain, and the weather was damp. The Empress Dowager Feng’s headaches had returned, and she had been sleeping poorly at night, feeling quite unsettled. Last night, she had a rare dream and saw the late Emperor. He had pointed to the Eastern Palace with an angry expression and had repeatedly said, “No, no, absolutely not!”
The Empress Dowager Feng had woken up in a fright. Thinking about it, there had been no changes in the Eastern Palace recently, only the matter of the Crown Prince’s impending marriage. She suspected that the late Emperor was referring to the new bride being inauspicious and grew even more displeased. That was why she had summoned Zhao Yuanjia and Fu Tangli, intending to go to Yuanzhen Palace and ask a master to discern the matter.
But she was unwilling to say much about the reason. She only spoke a few words with Zhao Yuanjia and then ordered the palace servants to set off.
Palace maids holding crimson gauze lanterns attended on either side. Eunuchs held horsetail whisks, censers, and screens and followed. Two columns of Yulin guards escorted the carriage. The procession set out in a grand formation from the palace gates, heading for Yuanzhen Palace.
Yuanzhen Palace was located in the east of Chang’an. It covered a vast area, with green bricks and gray tiles, black pillars and white walls, layered pavilions, and jagged high platforms. There were also green pines like clouds, spread throughout, giving it an ancient and secluded feel.
It was the number one Daoist temple in the realm, having flourished through three dynasties. The Daoists in the temple cultivated the art of ascending to immortality and had repeatedly shown miraculous signs to the people, who all believed in them. The current abbot, the Perfected One Qingyang, could peer into the heavens’ will and penetrate the world of ghosts and spirits. He possessed great supernatural powers and had been revered as the Imperial Preceptor since the time of the late Emperor.
The Daoists respectfully welcomed the Empress Dowager Feng and her party into the Hall of the Celestial Worthy. The Perfected One Qingyang came forward. He had a gaunt face, a head of white hair, and three long wisps of a beard, the very picture of an immortal. Seeing the Empress Dowager Feng, he flicked his horsetail whisk and gave a calm and composed bow. “May the Celestial Worthy grant immeasurable blessings. Greetings to Your Majesty, the Empress Dowager.”
The Empress Dowager Feng replied with reserve, “Greetings to the Imperial Preceptor.”
At this moment, a young Daoist came from behind the hall and stood behind the Perfected One Qingyang.
Seeing him, the Empress Dowager Feng suddenly grew agitated and couldn’t help but reach out her hand. “Fifth Prince, what are you doing here?”
The person who had come was none other than Zhao Shangjun. He was dressed as a Daoist, in a wide-sleeved, large robe, his hair coiled in a high topknot and secured with an ebony pin, the very picture of someone detached from the mortal world.
The Perfected One Qingyang said unhurriedly, “Xuanyan is a disciple of my junior brother Qingxu and is also a disciple of my Yuanzhen Palace. Tomorrow is the birthday of the Supreme Lord Laozi, and there will be a grand sacrificial ceremony, so all disciples have been ordered to return.”
Seeing the Empress Dowager Feng, Zhao Shangjun showed not much emotion. He just, like his senior uncle, gave a bow. “May the Celestial Worthy grant immeasurable blessings. This humble Daoist pays respects to Your Majesty, the Empress Dowager.”
Seeing this, the Empress Dowager Feng almost shed a tear. But she also knew that because of that old affair, the bond between mother and son was broken and could not be mended. For him to occasionally return to the palace and be willing to see her, his mother, was already the best situation. She could not ask for more.
She was also a strong-willed person. In just a moment, she had already regained her composure, nodded, and said no more. Then, she ordered Zhao Yuanjia and Fu Tangli to come forward.
Fu Tangli followed behind, her legs already trembling, almost wanting to cover her face and retreat. Unfortunately, she could find no excuse and could only brace herself and go forward. With Zhao Yuanjia, after greeting the Perfected One Qingyang, she then bowed to Zhao Shangjun. “This child pays respects to Your Highness, the Prince of Huai.”
Zhao Shangjun’s expression was indifferent. “This humble Daoist is Xuanyan.”
Zhao Yuanjia and Fu Tangli immediately corrected themselves. “Greetings to Daoist Master Xuanyan.”
Their voices sounded in unison, as if they were of one mind.
Zhao Shangjun’s eyes turned cold, a sharp glint flashing across them for an instant.